My Dear Moms~
I would like to take a moment to thank all of you for your loyalty and support these past six months as the Mom Chronicles has been launched. It has been a great blessing in my life and one I look forward to watching grow and evolve. I hope all of you will take the time to read the holiday edition of the Mom Chronicles running in this week's Hastings Star Gazette. A very humbling column to write, I hope it provides some of you out there in the same unfortunate circumstances some insight and peace.
I hope that all of you have a wonderful and joyous and so very blessed holiday and new year. May the greatest gifts in your life not be what lie under the tree but in what surrounds you.
A very Merry Christmas!
Amy, The Chronicle Mom
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
The Mom Chronicles Holiday Edition
The Mom Chronicles: Gratitude and Generosity
Merry Christmas. All the anticipation, the preparation, the hustle and bustle. It's all finally about to be over as the anticipated event, Christmas, is finally here. If you are like me, my Chronicle Moms, the arrival of the holiday comes with mixed feelings; relief to have survived and sadness that this season is soon to be over. As hectic and stressful as it can get, especially as a mom, with all the cooking and baking and shopping and wrapping, and holiday programs and parties, seeing it come to an end is somewhat a sad sort of thing. After all, as crazy as this season can get, there is absolutely nothing like it. The lights. The hope. The joy. The anticipation. The generosity. Oh, the generosity. For whatever reason, this is the season that truly brings out the best in people. What does not inspire others to give the rest of the year, seems to at Christmas time, and if ever a time to see what our fellow man is made of, now would be it. And so it is with great sadness that I welcome the holiday, and bid it farewell at the same time.
There are few times when I sit to write this column that I really struggle with what to say. This is one of those rare times but not because of not knowing what to say, but because of what it is I am going to share. You see, this Chronicle Mom is also human. That means capable of feeling things like embarassment, guilt and shame. And as I struggle to share what it is I am going to share, I know that I do it because in doing this column I have made a commitment to all of you, to be open and honest, and not to simply share that which is easy. And the fact of the matter is that I know that my sharing holds the potential of being a great gift to some of you. And for that, I write you this column, wrapped with the ribbon of my heart and hope that it can be the gift that perhaps you are in need of this holiday season.
Generosity. This is a subject I touched on in the opening lines of this column, and what this holiday addition of the Mom Chronicles is all about. Generosity, and also humility. This year, like for so many of you, this mom found herself in quite a predicament. Here I am, basically the sole provider for my kids, newly unemployed, living on short term disability while seeking treatment for depression issues that run deep, with out help paying for child care and basic needs such as food and rent, and with a three year old who has suddenly learned what it is to believe in Santa Clause. You see as many people have been busy crossing people off of their Christmas shopping lists, I have been shuffling funds just trying to figure out how to pay rent and daycare and all the other daily necessities of my children. It was no wonder then, as the weeks turned to days and the countdown to December 25th seemed to gain speed, I was forced with a very difficult decision to make. While I full heartedly believe that Christmas is about giving and not receiving, the all important Santa and gift concept to a young child is one that can't simply go unnoticed. And while it was suggested to me to simply celebrate the holiday at a later date when I could swing it, I knew this was not something as a mom I was neither willing, or able to do. And so last week I made the very difficult drive down to Hastings Family Service. Several "One last things" that unexpectedly came up and sucked up any hope of having any funds for gifts for my kids sort of pushed me to this decision. I would not be the one, after all, who would explain to my son on Christmas morning, that Santa did not make it to our house this year. And so I made the call, and went in and got our names on the list.
This is the part of the story I am most ashamed for. You see, as I was greeted by the kind folks at Hastings Family Service, I felt shame, embarassment. I hoped like mad that none of them would recognize me from my picture next to my column, for certainly no one could know that this Chronicle Mom had let her kids down so deeply as to have to resort to relying on others to bring them Christmas this year. So I kept my face to the ground, kept a low profile as I thought "Please no one notice me, please no one notice me." Until it dawned on me, how wrong was I. As I watched other moms come in behind me, if they were feeling the same way they certainly were not showing it. Shame on me, I thought. Shame on me. And what was funny, not funny but ironic, was that I did not look down on those other moms as I did myself. I did not look at the other moms signing their kids up and think, "Gee, what a loser. Can't provide your kids with gifts? What kind of a mom are you?" No. Quite contrary. Instead what I thought as I watched the other moms was "How great are you? How selfless? Your kids are so lucky!"
You see, who was I to be above needing such help? How great of an image must I have felt I needed to hold to feel such shame in asking for help? For the first time this mom who has never associated herself with having an elevated sense of self got it smacked in her face.
This past Friday afternoon I got the phone call from Hastings Family Service that our food and gifts were ready. When I went to pick them up I was overwhelmed. As I watched them carry towards me huge gift bags packed full of gifts for me and my kids, I was speechless. And then came the food. Seven bags of groceries, and a turkey. There was literally no room left in my car by the time I got done packing it all in. And the thing is, they have you write a thank you note right there on the spot for the family that sponsored you. I was somewhat taken a back. I could barely collect myself enough to understand all that was being given to us, let alone be able to pull my thoughts together enough to be able to give a meaningful thankyou, and yet I did my best. What do you say, afterall, to someone who extends such generosity? What do you say to someone, to the family, that has given your family the holiday they other wise would not have? How do you thank anyone for the look you caught on your childrens' faces when they came home to see the mountain of gifts under the tree? Thank you, quite frankly, does not feel remotely suffice.
My family was family UU. I share this not only to thank the family that so generously supported us, but to share with you other moms who also have a number or letters that were given to keep you anonymous in signing up for assistence, my famous montra that you are not alone. No one is above needing help or bad things happening. The shame that I felt in not being able to support my family that I can assure you so many of you also felt, is not necessary. Do not punish yourselves with it. For you, you are great. You were willing to step outside yourself and your pride to give your kids something that they will never forget- a Christmas! A hope! A Belief in that something greater. And while it may have been hard or disheartening and perhaps you felt as if I did, those feelings should only be replaced with feelings of pride and humility. We are all human. We all need help sometime. And while the gifts under the tree were not bought by you, they are there BECAUSE of you. And do not be afraid to tell your children as I have mine that we are SO lucky. We are SO lucky that someone loved us SO MUCH to give us all of these great things. And perhaps one day, you will be able to return the favor and do the same for someone else.
Generosity. Gratitude. These are the two greatest themes I will walk away from this holiday season with. Yes we have talked about twinkle lights and trees and snowflakes and all that is this time of year, but none of these things measure up to what it is to experience the generosity and kindness of the human spirit that emerges this time of year. And I can only hope and encourage you to extend this generosity and giving the rest of the year.
Now, as for me and my family by the time this comes to press we will be settling in under the tree getting ready to open our gifts so generously given by some family out there that loved us enough to give. And while I wish I could capture that moment and send it out to all of you, instead I will hold it close to my heart and I will forgive myself for feeling so proud, and with my children give thanks for a greater good. And we will be thinking of those of you other Chronicle families out there doing the same.
From my family to yours, I wish you a truly blessed and joyful Christmas.
Merry Christmas. All the anticipation, the preparation, the hustle and bustle. It's all finally about to be over as the anticipated event, Christmas, is finally here. If you are like me, my Chronicle Moms, the arrival of the holiday comes with mixed feelings; relief to have survived and sadness that this season is soon to be over. As hectic and stressful as it can get, especially as a mom, with all the cooking and baking and shopping and wrapping, and holiday programs and parties, seeing it come to an end is somewhat a sad sort of thing. After all, as crazy as this season can get, there is absolutely nothing like it. The lights. The hope. The joy. The anticipation. The generosity. Oh, the generosity. For whatever reason, this is the season that truly brings out the best in people. What does not inspire others to give the rest of the year, seems to at Christmas time, and if ever a time to see what our fellow man is made of, now would be it. And so it is with great sadness that I welcome the holiday, and bid it farewell at the same time.
There are few times when I sit to write this column that I really struggle with what to say. This is one of those rare times but not because of not knowing what to say, but because of what it is I am going to share. You see, this Chronicle Mom is also human. That means capable of feeling things like embarassment, guilt and shame. And as I struggle to share what it is I am going to share, I know that I do it because in doing this column I have made a commitment to all of you, to be open and honest, and not to simply share that which is easy. And the fact of the matter is that I know that my sharing holds the potential of being a great gift to some of you. And for that, I write you this column, wrapped with the ribbon of my heart and hope that it can be the gift that perhaps you are in need of this holiday season.
Generosity. This is a subject I touched on in the opening lines of this column, and what this holiday addition of the Mom Chronicles is all about. Generosity, and also humility. This year, like for so many of you, this mom found herself in quite a predicament. Here I am, basically the sole provider for my kids, newly unemployed, living on short term disability while seeking treatment for depression issues that run deep, with out help paying for child care and basic needs such as food and rent, and with a three year old who has suddenly learned what it is to believe in Santa Clause. You see as many people have been busy crossing people off of their Christmas shopping lists, I have been shuffling funds just trying to figure out how to pay rent and daycare and all the other daily necessities of my children. It was no wonder then, as the weeks turned to days and the countdown to December 25th seemed to gain speed, I was forced with a very difficult decision to make. While I full heartedly believe that Christmas is about giving and not receiving, the all important Santa and gift concept to a young child is one that can't simply go unnoticed. And while it was suggested to me to simply celebrate the holiday at a later date when I could swing it, I knew this was not something as a mom I was neither willing, or able to do. And so last week I made the very difficult drive down to Hastings Family Service. Several "One last things" that unexpectedly came up and sucked up any hope of having any funds for gifts for my kids sort of pushed me to this decision. I would not be the one, after all, who would explain to my son on Christmas morning, that Santa did not make it to our house this year. And so I made the call, and went in and got our names on the list.
This is the part of the story I am most ashamed for. You see, as I was greeted by the kind folks at Hastings Family Service, I felt shame, embarassment. I hoped like mad that none of them would recognize me from my picture next to my column, for certainly no one could know that this Chronicle Mom had let her kids down so deeply as to have to resort to relying on others to bring them Christmas this year. So I kept my face to the ground, kept a low profile as I thought "Please no one notice me, please no one notice me." Until it dawned on me, how wrong was I. As I watched other moms come in behind me, if they were feeling the same way they certainly were not showing it. Shame on me, I thought. Shame on me. And what was funny, not funny but ironic, was that I did not look down on those other moms as I did myself. I did not look at the other moms signing their kids up and think, "Gee, what a loser. Can't provide your kids with gifts? What kind of a mom are you?" No. Quite contrary. Instead what I thought as I watched the other moms was "How great are you? How selfless? Your kids are so lucky!"
You see, who was I to be above needing such help? How great of an image must I have felt I needed to hold to feel such shame in asking for help? For the first time this mom who has never associated herself with having an elevated sense of self got it smacked in her face.
This past Friday afternoon I got the phone call from Hastings Family Service that our food and gifts were ready. When I went to pick them up I was overwhelmed. As I watched them carry towards me huge gift bags packed full of gifts for me and my kids, I was speechless. And then came the food. Seven bags of groceries, and a turkey. There was literally no room left in my car by the time I got done packing it all in. And the thing is, they have you write a thank you note right there on the spot for the family that sponsored you. I was somewhat taken a back. I could barely collect myself enough to understand all that was being given to us, let alone be able to pull my thoughts together enough to be able to give a meaningful thankyou, and yet I did my best. What do you say, afterall, to someone who extends such generosity? What do you say to someone, to the family, that has given your family the holiday they other wise would not have? How do you thank anyone for the look you caught on your childrens' faces when they came home to see the mountain of gifts under the tree? Thank you, quite frankly, does not feel remotely suffice.
My family was family UU. I share this not only to thank the family that so generously supported us, but to share with you other moms who also have a number or letters that were given to keep you anonymous in signing up for assistence, my famous montra that you are not alone. No one is above needing help or bad things happening. The shame that I felt in not being able to support my family that I can assure you so many of you also felt, is not necessary. Do not punish yourselves with it. For you, you are great. You were willing to step outside yourself and your pride to give your kids something that they will never forget- a Christmas! A hope! A Belief in that something greater. And while it may have been hard or disheartening and perhaps you felt as if I did, those feelings should only be replaced with feelings of pride and humility. We are all human. We all need help sometime. And while the gifts under the tree were not bought by you, they are there BECAUSE of you. And do not be afraid to tell your children as I have mine that we are SO lucky. We are SO lucky that someone loved us SO MUCH to give us all of these great things. And perhaps one day, you will be able to return the favor and do the same for someone else.
Generosity. Gratitude. These are the two greatest themes I will walk away from this holiday season with. Yes we have talked about twinkle lights and trees and snowflakes and all that is this time of year, but none of these things measure up to what it is to experience the generosity and kindness of the human spirit that emerges this time of year. And I can only hope and encourage you to extend this generosity and giving the rest of the year.
Now, as for me and my family by the time this comes to press we will be settling in under the tree getting ready to open our gifts so generously given by some family out there that loved us enough to give. And while I wish I could capture that moment and send it out to all of you, instead I will hold it close to my heart and I will forgive myself for feeling so proud, and with my children give thanks for a greater good. And we will be thinking of those of you other Chronicle families out there doing the same.
From my family to yours, I wish you a truly blessed and joyful Christmas.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Message From Santa
Hey, Moms~
I have to share a super cool link with you!!! It is http://portablenorthpole.tv/
This is a website where you put in all of your kids info (name, age, eye and hair color, what they want for Christmas, what they have done good this year, where you live, etc) and it generates for free this amazing video message from Santa. It is so realistic. He has his naughty and nice book and the kids picture appears in it with their description and what they want for Christmas. My three year old LOVES it! It is SO cool. Do your kids a favor and make one for them. You will enjoy it, too!
Have a Super Merry Day!
Amy
I have to share a super cool link with you!!! It is http://portablenorthpole.tv/
This is a website where you put in all of your kids info (name, age, eye and hair color, what they want for Christmas, what they have done good this year, where you live, etc) and it generates for free this amazing video message from Santa. It is so realistic. He has his naughty and nice book and the kids picture appears in it with their description and what they want for Christmas. My three year old LOVES it! It is SO cool. Do your kids a favor and make one for them. You will enjoy it, too!
Have a Super Merry Day!
Amy
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Happy Snow-Day!
Hello, Moms! Can you believe it? The first big snow of the year is finally here! I am thrilled! If you have no where to go you probably are, too! If you do, well, you probably aren't so thrilled.. I anticipate lots of excited kids tomorrow, as I am sure there is going to be a snow day. If only my kids were old enough.. It is a little too cold and windy to take them sledding in the new fallen snow. My son is loving it! My daughter on the other hand...well, she is less then thrilled. Won't look at it, touch it, sit in it. Wants nothing to do with it. I hope that changes or it is going to be a long winter!
I hope you and your families are enjoying it and the anticipation to Christmas. Now, it really IS beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
As for me, the kids are in bed, I am snuggled up in my pajamas with the lights on and watching the Golden girls out one eye, and the falling snow outside my padio window with the other.. Though warm, a part of me wants to go out in it and dance and make snow angels... Hmmm... I just may have to.
Have a great week!
Amy
I hope you and your families are enjoying it and the anticipation to Christmas. Now, it really IS beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
As for me, the kids are in bed, I am snuggled up in my pajamas with the lights on and watching the Golden girls out one eye, and the falling snow outside my padio window with the other.. Though warm, a part of me wants to go out in it and dance and make snow angels... Hmmm... I just may have to.
Have a great week!
Amy
When The Lights Go Out - Dec. 9th Column
The Mom Chronicles:When the lights Go Out
Warm winter wishes, my Chronicle moms. By the time this goes to press I anticipate we will have our first decent measurable snow on the ground. For most, that means winter is officially here and Christmas can go ahead and come. There is something about that blanket of white that gets us all in to the holiday spirit.
This column was inspired while on my way to a special service at church tonight. As usual we took the scenic route to check out our favorite holiday light displays. To our dismay for the fourth night in a row, when we drove by one of the biggest displays (and one of our favorites to date) on W 3rd street just west of Pine, the lights were dark. "Are they broken, Mommy?" Matthew asked. To which my reply was simply, "I don't know, bud." And while he dropped it there, it didn't escape my thoughts. What did happen?- I wondered. Why are the lights off? We enjoyed them for several nights, and suddenly I found myself wondering what caused them to go dark. Well, to my excitement, later as I embarked on the long walk home from church, just as I was in deep thought and silently cursing my husband for conveniently being over a half an hour away and not answering his phone when I was ready to be picked up and hense having to walk the almost two miles home, in the cold and dark alone, I saw light. THOSE lights. Our lights. The BIG lights. They were on.
And so after taking a moment to step back and enjoy them, I then wondered why they had been dark for so many times before.I felt some sense of relief, for I had worried that perhaps something happened to the owner and they were unable to turn them on, or perhaps that they had blown a circuit, or, or, or. And then it was simply, perhaps they were just away from home and need to humor us all and put the lights on a timer. (I will donate one if you need it!)
Ultimately, my thoughts returned to the subject of the lights going out. This stayed with the topic of holiday lights for only a moment, and quickly lead to thoughts of how this applies to all of us in life, especially in the holiday season. You see, what I was walking home from was a Service of Rememberance for folks who have lost loved ones and are remembering them this holiday season. I went for my lost baby. We were given the opportunity to replace ornaments on a tree with a special bow with our loved ones name on it, and then given the ornaments we replaced to take home. There were many people there that in this holiday season, the lights could certainly be dark. While I am working hard to give my children the most memorable holiday I can, the fact that this would have been my baby's first Christmas had it survived is not far from my mind. Other things that make the lights go out during the holidays? Stress. Loss. Loss of job. Loss of a life. Loss of home. Financial burdens. The inability to provide for ones family, or give their children their coveted Christmas gifts. Sickness, mental or physical. The unexpected or dreaded. It seems just about anything can flip the switch on the light and hope that lies in the holiday season. So what happens then when the lights do go out?
The first thing to do is diagnose what happened. What do you do when your holiday lights go out? Do you simply throw them out, or check to see if there is a loose bulb, or simply make sure they are plugged in? Your approach to that may be similar to how you approach your life when the lights go out. Do you take time to figure out what happened, to problem solve, or do you simply give up? We have all fallen victim to the dreaded strand of holiday lights that suddenly stop working or part of the strand goes dark. Are you someone who tries to fix them, or do you simply throw them out? And if you do throw them out do you consider it a loss or are you fairly indifferent? Perhaps a simple analogy but the same can be applied to how to handle these life things when they darken our days. When a strand of lights goes out, it happens for a reason. Perhaps they were defective, something came loose, there was an electic short, etc or perhaps they were just old. And when it happens we can be upset, frustrated, even sad but does that mean we never buy a strand of holiday lights again, or do we take a chance and buy more perhaps next time buying a box of the kind that won't go dark when a single bulb does? Based on the number of people I see stocking up on holiday lights in after Christmas sales, I would be willing to bet that we buy more, perhaps even in anticipation of the lights going out again.
So what am I getting at here? I have see in my own life quite vivedly the past months how easily the lights go out. I have seen how I have allowed all the ways my life has gone dark to blacken my whole outlook. This holiday season, I am aware of where the dark areas remain in my life, and am seeking ways of bringing back the lights. I have examined where the problem areas lie and what caused them to begin with. I have decided which strands of darkness I am ok to let go of and accept as losses, and which ones I am fighting to salvage or bring back. Some of the dark areas I know how to fix, others are most obscure.And while it seems somewhat minimalizing to compare the darkness of life to the darkness of a strand of holiday lights, the analogy has taught me a lot. Of the things most important, it has taught me that things happen for a reason, even if I don't always know what the reason is. It has taught me that replacing lights doesn't mean the old ones never existed. It has taught me that the most important relationships in life are the ones that bring back the light, even if it is simply one tiny bulb at a time, and the relationships worth fighting for and working on the most are the ones that are going to be there when the next strand goes black. Finally, it has taught me to be patient. The process of diagnosing a problem and brainstorming a way to fix it and making those choices take time and patience. They don't always happen over night, and some times, what works for one strand isn't what works for another.
I hope that as we continue in the holiday season that if you find lights in your life going dark, that you are able to find ways to bring them back. I associate light with hope. Where there is light, there is hope. If you live in darkness, there is no hope. I hope if this holiday season finds you living in darkness, that you are able to find even one bulb that is bright, and when you do, let that light shine.
I hope you will continue to find hope and light this holiday season. Keep putting up those light displays. We are enjoying them! (PS- Way to Go, Chad! I am proud of you for yours!!)
Warm winter wishes, my Chronicle moms. By the time this goes to press I anticipate we will have our first decent measurable snow on the ground. For most, that means winter is officially here and Christmas can go ahead and come. There is something about that blanket of white that gets us all in to the holiday spirit.
This column was inspired while on my way to a special service at church tonight. As usual we took the scenic route to check out our favorite holiday light displays. To our dismay for the fourth night in a row, when we drove by one of the biggest displays (and one of our favorites to date) on W 3rd street just west of Pine, the lights were dark. "Are they broken, Mommy?" Matthew asked. To which my reply was simply, "I don't know, bud." And while he dropped it there, it didn't escape my thoughts. What did happen?- I wondered. Why are the lights off? We enjoyed them for several nights, and suddenly I found myself wondering what caused them to go dark. Well, to my excitement, later as I embarked on the long walk home from church, just as I was in deep thought and silently cursing my husband for conveniently being over a half an hour away and not answering his phone when I was ready to be picked up and hense having to walk the almost two miles home, in the cold and dark alone, I saw light. THOSE lights. Our lights. The BIG lights. They were on.
And so after taking a moment to step back and enjoy them, I then wondered why they had been dark for so many times before.I felt some sense of relief, for I had worried that perhaps something happened to the owner and they were unable to turn them on, or perhaps that they had blown a circuit, or, or, or. And then it was simply, perhaps they were just away from home and need to humor us all and put the lights on a timer. (I will donate one if you need it!)
Ultimately, my thoughts returned to the subject of the lights going out. This stayed with the topic of holiday lights for only a moment, and quickly lead to thoughts of how this applies to all of us in life, especially in the holiday season. You see, what I was walking home from was a Service of Rememberance for folks who have lost loved ones and are remembering them this holiday season. I went for my lost baby. We were given the opportunity to replace ornaments on a tree with a special bow with our loved ones name on it, and then given the ornaments we replaced to take home. There were many people there that in this holiday season, the lights could certainly be dark. While I am working hard to give my children the most memorable holiday I can, the fact that this would have been my baby's first Christmas had it survived is not far from my mind. Other things that make the lights go out during the holidays? Stress. Loss. Loss of job. Loss of a life. Loss of home. Financial burdens. The inability to provide for ones family, or give their children their coveted Christmas gifts. Sickness, mental or physical. The unexpected or dreaded. It seems just about anything can flip the switch on the light and hope that lies in the holiday season. So what happens then when the lights do go out?
The first thing to do is diagnose what happened. What do you do when your holiday lights go out? Do you simply throw them out, or check to see if there is a loose bulb, or simply make sure they are plugged in? Your approach to that may be similar to how you approach your life when the lights go out. Do you take time to figure out what happened, to problem solve, or do you simply give up? We have all fallen victim to the dreaded strand of holiday lights that suddenly stop working or part of the strand goes dark. Are you someone who tries to fix them, or do you simply throw them out? And if you do throw them out do you consider it a loss or are you fairly indifferent? Perhaps a simple analogy but the same can be applied to how to handle these life things when they darken our days. When a strand of lights goes out, it happens for a reason. Perhaps they were defective, something came loose, there was an electic short, etc or perhaps they were just old. And when it happens we can be upset, frustrated, even sad but does that mean we never buy a strand of holiday lights again, or do we take a chance and buy more perhaps next time buying a box of the kind that won't go dark when a single bulb does? Based on the number of people I see stocking up on holiday lights in after Christmas sales, I would be willing to bet that we buy more, perhaps even in anticipation of the lights going out again.
So what am I getting at here? I have see in my own life quite vivedly the past months how easily the lights go out. I have seen how I have allowed all the ways my life has gone dark to blacken my whole outlook. This holiday season, I am aware of where the dark areas remain in my life, and am seeking ways of bringing back the lights. I have examined where the problem areas lie and what caused them to begin with. I have decided which strands of darkness I am ok to let go of and accept as losses, and which ones I am fighting to salvage or bring back. Some of the dark areas I know how to fix, others are most obscure.And while it seems somewhat minimalizing to compare the darkness of life to the darkness of a strand of holiday lights, the analogy has taught me a lot. Of the things most important, it has taught me that things happen for a reason, even if I don't always know what the reason is. It has taught me that replacing lights doesn't mean the old ones never existed. It has taught me that the most important relationships in life are the ones that bring back the light, even if it is simply one tiny bulb at a time, and the relationships worth fighting for and working on the most are the ones that are going to be there when the next strand goes black. Finally, it has taught me to be patient. The process of diagnosing a problem and brainstorming a way to fix it and making those choices take time and patience. They don't always happen over night, and some times, what works for one strand isn't what works for another.
I hope that as we continue in the holiday season that if you find lights in your life going dark, that you are able to find ways to bring them back. I associate light with hope. Where there is light, there is hope. If you live in darkness, there is no hope. I hope if this holiday season finds you living in darkness, that you are able to find even one bulb that is bright, and when you do, let that light shine.
I hope you will continue to find hope and light this holiday season. Keep putting up those light displays. We are enjoying them! (PS- Way to Go, Chad! I am proud of you for yours!!)
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Tending to Our Young
Hi, Moms~
Whew. What a week! I am sorry I am just getting back here.. It has been one of THOSE weeks. I am sure you will hear about it in next week's column, but here is a preview. Kids got sick. Both of them. My daughter with Pneumonia and my son with a bad cold, made worse by his asthma. This has meant a small fortune in office and medication co-pays when I didn't have it. It meant I couldn't start the treatment program that I have waited over a month to get in to for my depression. It meant missing my own doctor appointment, teaching confirmation, and chiropractor appts for the pinched nerve in my neck that also happened this week. I have gotten approximately 8 hours of sleep total this week. I have eaten junk for food just to stay awake. I feel like a small cow. Then we had the Diet Coke Crisis, which was able to be averted when I finally got to Target, both kids in tow, as I ran out and can't function on no sleep with out it. Yes, I, the horrible mom I am, took my ailing children out in these temps, with wet hair after a bath none the less- to fulfill my own need for diet coke. Remember that thing about having to take care of yourself? Yes, that would be it. My husband will not be home until late in the weekend and even suggested not coming until next week. I told him not to dare be gone that long. Mom needs a break.
Fortunately I got deeply rewarded by my daughter tonight when, in feeling better, she crawled up on the couch and stood up behind me and put her head on my shoulder and "patted" my back with her little hands, as if to say "thanks, mom". It was so sweet. She is feeling better- finally- so thank Goodness for that!
This weekend I am hoping to be able to fulfil the promise to my son to get the "Ho-Ho tree". Also, the lighted holiday train is coming through Hastings, so of course we must go and do that! Hopefully things are finally going to turn around.. Now, if only the grass could be covered with the white stuff... That would be golden!
Have a great week, moms!
Hopeing you and yours are better then we've been!!
Amy
Whew. What a week! I am sorry I am just getting back here.. It has been one of THOSE weeks. I am sure you will hear about it in next week's column, but here is a preview. Kids got sick. Both of them. My daughter with Pneumonia and my son with a bad cold, made worse by his asthma. This has meant a small fortune in office and medication co-pays when I didn't have it. It meant I couldn't start the treatment program that I have waited over a month to get in to for my depression. It meant missing my own doctor appointment, teaching confirmation, and chiropractor appts for the pinched nerve in my neck that also happened this week. I have gotten approximately 8 hours of sleep total this week. I have eaten junk for food just to stay awake. I feel like a small cow. Then we had the Diet Coke Crisis, which was able to be averted when I finally got to Target, both kids in tow, as I ran out and can't function on no sleep with out it. Yes, I, the horrible mom I am, took my ailing children out in these temps, with wet hair after a bath none the less- to fulfill my own need for diet coke. Remember that thing about having to take care of yourself? Yes, that would be it. My husband will not be home until late in the weekend and even suggested not coming until next week. I told him not to dare be gone that long. Mom needs a break.
Fortunately I got deeply rewarded by my daughter tonight when, in feeling better, she crawled up on the couch and stood up behind me and put her head on my shoulder and "patted" my back with her little hands, as if to say "thanks, mom". It was so sweet. She is feeling better- finally- so thank Goodness for that!
This weekend I am hoping to be able to fulfil the promise to my son to get the "Ho-Ho tree". Also, the lighted holiday train is coming through Hastings, so of course we must go and do that! Hopefully things are finally going to turn around.. Now, if only the grass could be covered with the white stuff... That would be golden!
Have a great week, moms!
Hopeing you and yours are better then we've been!!
Amy
December 3rd Column
The Mom Chronicles: 1st Annual Lights and Display Contest
Welcome back from your turkey induced comas. I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving with your families! Ours was wonderfully uneventful. We spent it with my mom's side of the family, where we ate lots, of course, and while the competitive and cheating side of the family played 500 (the card game), the rest of us lower key folks played a couple games of Skip-Bo. It's a game I learned to play as a young girl from my grandma, and still enjoy to this day. While there was no black-Friday shopping in the Peterson household due to lack of funds and not enough courage to take two little kids out in those kinds of crowds, we did spend time out driving around checking out the Christmas lights. My son especially enjoyed the Nativity scenes, as while to some of them he said,"Look mom! There is baby Jesus!", remembering the Baby Jesus doll he made at Sunday School, and to others he exclaimed, "Look ,Mommy! Baby Sam!" That made my heart smile, while at the same time drawing a tear.I am deeply proud that my son recognizes baby Jesus in the Manger, and chilled by the irony of his drawing comparison of our baby Sam that we lost and the baby Jesus. She does, after all, now live with Him.
The foremost has showed me that it is possible, to teach both the TRUE meaning of Christmas, while enjoing the secular versions as well. As a mother of young children who happened to have been a child once herself, I frequently wondered how to draw that balance. I do not want to raise greedy children, who just think of Santa Clause and loads of toys when Christmas is mentioned. No Instead I want them to have a deep knowledge of why we celebrate the holiday and what it means to our family as Christians. That means recognizing things like the Baby Jesus, Nativy scene and songs like "Silent Night", in additon to "Ho Ho" lights, blown up lawn ornaments, and "Santa Clause is coming to town". I hope as they get older, my kids will continue to recognize and remember these things and they will continue to be parts of our traditions. For me growing up, the Christmas Eve Service at church was just a large of an event as the gift opening itself. Perhaps this was because my grandfather is a pastor, or perhaps it was just our family's values, Whatever the case, I was raised with the abiliy to balance those deep rooted beliefs, with the belief and hope in Santa Clause, who represented someting so ironically similar. And while I don't feel that it is my place to tell you what to believe in and teach your kids this year, I do hope that whatever it is expands beyond what gits they receieve under the tree. It could be as simple as allowing your child to put a few dollars or loose change in to the bell ringer's kettles, or choosing a gift or two to donate to a charity, or even by adopting another family for Christmas. At the holiday season, your options are endless. On a tighter budget? Bake some cookies and deliver them to an elderly or sick neighbor, or when the snow flies (which will hopefully be soon), shovel for someone, or organize a carroling expedition Whatever you do, find ways to create your own holiday memories and traditions, that include things or meanings that run deeper than presents or toys or tangable things. I promise, it will leave you all feeling a little merrier, a little jollier, a little more bright.
Speaking of bright. Mom Chronicle Challenge! All our driving around looking at lights has inspired me to hold a Lights and Display Contest! Between now and December 20th I will be driving around Hastings checking out all the neighborhood lights and displays looking for the best dislays.My kids and I will choose the best single house, as well as the best overall neighborhood. Want to be considered? Send me an email at: amyellamatthew@gmail.com with the subject of "Lights and Display Contest". While I have been getting around town with the kids, if you have a special display, please send me your address so I can be sure not to miss is and check it out Each week in my column until then, I will include addresses of some I have enjoyed during the previous week. Happy lighting, and Good Luck!
Here are a few I have ejoyed this week (Take note- these are mostly on the West Side of 61, as they are closer to my house. I will check out the East side for next week.)
1.Neighborhood: The culvasac of Ridgewood Ct and Pleasant (a few blocks behind the Library).
2.Neigborhood: Homes on the east side of Tuttle Drive and Shannon Dr (Several day cares in this neighborhood.That equals lots of lights!)
3.Neighborhood: W3rd st between State street, also between Pine and River on West 3rd ***A couple of these are the greatest homes right now, too!**
4. West 8th street along Hwy 55
5. Homes starting a S. Park Drive and Hackberry, and continuing along S. Park Drive
6.Home near W14th and Pine
7. Homes along Oak and W 16th, as well as W19t to W20th
8. Several Homes along W 18th St starting at Hwy 61
9. Homes along W33rd and Lester
10. W 31st and Hwy Knoll
Hope you will take time to check these neighborhoods out. Let me know your favorites! No lights of your own? Maybe driving around to see these will inspire you! Have a great week!
Welcome back from your turkey induced comas. I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving with your families! Ours was wonderfully uneventful. We spent it with my mom's side of the family, where we ate lots, of course, and while the competitive and cheating side of the family played 500 (the card game), the rest of us lower key folks played a couple games of Skip-Bo. It's a game I learned to play as a young girl from my grandma, and still enjoy to this day. While there was no black-Friday shopping in the Peterson household due to lack of funds and not enough courage to take two little kids out in those kinds of crowds, we did spend time out driving around checking out the Christmas lights. My son especially enjoyed the Nativity scenes, as while to some of them he said,"Look mom! There is baby Jesus!", remembering the Baby Jesus doll he made at Sunday School, and to others he exclaimed, "Look ,Mommy! Baby Sam!" That made my heart smile, while at the same time drawing a tear.I am deeply proud that my son recognizes baby Jesus in the Manger, and chilled by the irony of his drawing comparison of our baby Sam that we lost and the baby Jesus. She does, after all, now live with Him.
The foremost has showed me that it is possible, to teach both the TRUE meaning of Christmas, while enjoing the secular versions as well. As a mother of young children who happened to have been a child once herself, I frequently wondered how to draw that balance. I do not want to raise greedy children, who just think of Santa Clause and loads of toys when Christmas is mentioned. No Instead I want them to have a deep knowledge of why we celebrate the holiday and what it means to our family as Christians. That means recognizing things like the Baby Jesus, Nativy scene and songs like "Silent Night", in additon to "Ho Ho" lights, blown up lawn ornaments, and "Santa Clause is coming to town". I hope as they get older, my kids will continue to recognize and remember these things and they will continue to be parts of our traditions. For me growing up, the Christmas Eve Service at church was just a large of an event as the gift opening itself. Perhaps this was because my grandfather is a pastor, or perhaps it was just our family's values, Whatever the case, I was raised with the abiliy to balance those deep rooted beliefs, with the belief and hope in Santa Clause, who represented someting so ironically similar. And while I don't feel that it is my place to tell you what to believe in and teach your kids this year, I do hope that whatever it is expands beyond what gits they receieve under the tree. It could be as simple as allowing your child to put a few dollars or loose change in to the bell ringer's kettles, or choosing a gift or two to donate to a charity, or even by adopting another family for Christmas. At the holiday season, your options are endless. On a tighter budget? Bake some cookies and deliver them to an elderly or sick neighbor, or when the snow flies (which will hopefully be soon), shovel for someone, or organize a carroling expedition Whatever you do, find ways to create your own holiday memories and traditions, that include things or meanings that run deeper than presents or toys or tangable things. I promise, it will leave you all feeling a little merrier, a little jollier, a little more bright.
Speaking of bright. Mom Chronicle Challenge! All our driving around looking at lights has inspired me to hold a Lights and Display Contest! Between now and December 20th I will be driving around Hastings checking out all the neighborhood lights and displays looking for the best dislays.My kids and I will choose the best single house, as well as the best overall neighborhood. Want to be considered? Send me an email at: amyellamatthew@gmail.com with the subject of "Lights and Display Contest". While I have been getting around town with the kids, if you have a special display, please send me your address so I can be sure not to miss is and check it out Each week in my column until then, I will include addresses of some I have enjoyed during the previous week. Happy lighting, and Good Luck!
Here are a few I have ejoyed this week (Take note- these are mostly on the West Side of 61, as they are closer to my house. I will check out the East side for next week.)
1.Neighborhood: The culvasac of Ridgewood Ct and Pleasant (a few blocks behind the Library).
2.Neigborhood: Homes on the east side of Tuttle Drive and Shannon Dr (Several day cares in this neighborhood.That equals lots of lights!)
3.Neighborhood: W3rd st between State street, also between Pine and River on West 3rd ***A couple of these are the greatest homes right now, too!**
4. West 8th street along Hwy 55
5. Homes starting a S. Park Drive and Hackberry, and continuing along S. Park Drive
6.Home near W14th and Pine
7. Homes along Oak and W 16th, as well as W19t to W20th
8. Several Homes along W 18th St starting at Hwy 61
9. Homes along W33rd and Lester
10. W 31st and Hwy Knoll
Hope you will take time to check these neighborhoods out. Let me know your favorites! No lights of your own? Maybe driving around to see these will inspire you! Have a great week!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
A Classic
I couldn't resist but to share this story. My son, after consuming almost three and a half pounds of crab legs all on his own.... decided he was STILL hungry, and decided to dig in to a jello cup. After a bit he brought it to me and said "Here Mommy. I done. You have it." To which I responded with, "No thankyou, Matthew. Thats yours." His respose?? "But there no my boogers in it, Mommy!" I busted out laughing. For some reason that leads me to believe that perhaps there is a chance there may be!!!
Happy Turkey Day! May yours be..boogerless..as well!!
The Hastings Mom
Monday, November 23, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving Week!
Well, it is Thanksgiving week and things sure seem to come alive this time of year! My son is no exception! This weekend we tried to stay down at the Treasure Island Hotel and Casino. They have a pool, bowling, etc for the kids. In the past this has been a great venture. This weekend? Not so much.. Yes.. My son was in "ripe" form. It was a disaster! Next time, I am going alone!!! I did get a little bit of mommy time in the hot tub, though!
The post below this one is this week's column that will run in the Hastings Star Gazette. I titled it "giving thanks" as it is my holiday column. I hope you take the time to read it and enjoy it!
I hope everyone has a safe and happy Thanksgiving. See you again soon!
Amy
The post below this one is this week's column that will run in the Hastings Star Gazette. I titled it "giving thanks" as it is my holiday column. I hope you take the time to read it and enjoy it!
I hope everyone has a safe and happy Thanksgiving. See you again soon!
Amy
Mom Chronicles 20: Giving Thanks
This time of year it always seems somewhat unfortunate that while we are spending our time refecting on that which we are thankful for, we have a whole years worth to consider, as we neglect to do so the rest of the year. And each of us is guilty of it. When was the last time that you, or me, or anyone you know has taken the time to give thanks for the blessings in their lives or things they are thankful for? And why do we do that? Is it because we are so unappreciative of the good things or that we take them for granted, or do they simply escape us and we forget to take time to remember when things go well? I know each of us is certinaly good at recognizing when things don't go our way or when the, ahem, crap hits the fan. But what is it about the turkey, and mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce that brings out that thankfulness in each of us? The answer to that is as far from my grasp as it likely is yours.And while that is a reminder that we really need to spread the thanksgiving through out the year (perhaps not the food, though, or we would all be morbidly obese), the intent is not to take away from the thanksgiving in our hearts that we are feeling now. And so while you all ponder your answers to the infamous question "What are you thankful for", before you turn on the Thanksgiving Day Parade or cut in to your bird, here are a few things I will be giving thanks for.
First and foremost my kids. I am thankful for their joy that they bring in to my life and the colorfulness as well. I am thankful that only one of them grossly misbehaved while on our weekend venture to Treasure Island this past weekend, and that that is usually the case.I am thankful they are small enough to hold, but not so small that they can't interact and play with each other. I am glad they are getting bigger, but that they haven't out grown my lap. I am thankful they drive play cars, but not yet sit behind the wheel and drive a real one. I am thankful my son is working on being potty trained, but not for the "training" part. I am thankful that my daughter is making progress in terms of her gross motor development, and yet glad that she isn't running yet so she can't sneak out of her window and run away from home. I am thankful my son is able go to school, albeit it Sunday school, and more thankful that he's not yet to college where I'd have to say good bye.I am thankful they are both good poopers, for that means they are both good eaters. I am thankful my house is littered with toys, as it means children live here.I am thankful for "Good Night Moon" and"Seak and find" books, as they mean my kids are showing an interest in reading. I am thankful for the occasional crayon mark on the wall or marker streak on the couch as it means my children are able to express their creativity. I am thankful for their quiet snores when they are both fast asleep as it means I get a break, and I am thankful when I hear my daughter singing from her crib in the mornings when she awakes as I know she made it through the night. I am thankful my kids do so well in daycare, as it means I made a good choice in providers for them. I am thankful when I see them interacting with other kids as it means they are developing social skills.I am thankful when my son tells me "You make me angry, mommy!" as he is starting to learn to express his feelings. I am thankful when I hear them say "please" and "thankyou" as I know I have taught them good manners.And I am thankful when I hear how beautiful my kids are, as it means that of course, they take after me!
I am thankful that I have a car to drive, and that gas is under three dollars a gallon. I am thankful that while I lost one job, I still have this one. I am thankful I get to start school in a couple months to pursue a degree I can take pride in. I am thankful that in spite of everything, my kids have a roof over their head, clothes on their back and food in their stomachs. I am thankful for diet coke. And olives. I love olives. I am thankful for twinkle lights and jingle bells. I am thankful that there are people following my lead in putting up their holiday decor and that everyone isn't as "Bah humbug" about the impending holiday season as some I have experienced the past few days. I am thankful for friends who have stuck around and feel badly for those who abandoned ship - you are missing out. I am thankful for the opportunity to teach confirmation at my church. I am thankful for community support and county support programs that are there for people in need. I am thankful for a caring and commited therapist, Barb, and for Peter Schill, my primary doctor who has gone above and beyond for me in such a way I will be eternally greatful for. I am thankful for Skip-Bo and Yahtzee and for having people brave enough to play against me in them. I am thankful Brett Favre came to the MN Vikings, if only to sport a purple Favre jersey in front of my ever loving Greenbay Packer fan of a husband. I am thankful for my extended family. I am thankful my grandma has "faught like a girl" and is doing quite well even as cancer has invaded her body. I am thankful I have a faith, and a God that will never leave me. I am thankful for Cipro, when my kidneys get infected as they did this past week, and for all the other meds that have worked to keep me healthy. I am thankful for crab legs, for they are the one meal that keeps my son perched at the table.Santa Clause, so I can con my son in to being a good listener. Marathons, so when my legs are better I can run one. And mostly, you fine moms out there, that give me this place to come on a weekly basis.
While non-inclisive, I hope my list inspires you to come up with your own lists of things you are greatful for. As usual, feel free to share them with me and other readers on my blog which is www.hastingsmomchronicles.blogspot.com With in the next couple months the blog will be developing a new look, as I am working with a webdesigner to add more features and better designs to it. Stay tuned.
In the mean time, I hope you and your families have a truly blessed Thanksgiving. See you next week!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Inspired
Have a fabulous weekend!
The Chronicles Mom
Monday, November 16, 2009
I'm Back!
Hey, Mom's~
After a couple weeks of being away, I am back.I didn't forget about you, and hope you didn't forget about me! I have updated the blog to include the last 3 weeks of columns. As always, I hope you take the time to read them and post comments.
Thanks to all of you for your continued support through this column. I have gotten some tremendous feedback as of late and deeply appreciate it.
I hope you will continue to visit the site!
Amy
After a couple weeks of being away, I am back.I didn't forget about you, and hope you didn't forget about me! I have updated the blog to include the last 3 weeks of columns. As always, I hope you take the time to read them and post comments.
Thanks to all of you for your continued support through this column. I have gotten some tremendous feedback as of late and deeply appreciate it.
I hope you will continue to visit the site!
Amy
Mom Chronicles 19: Something to Believe In
The Mom Chronicles: Something to Believe in
Welcome back for another rendition of the Mom Chronicles.A special shout out to Trish, my biggest fan.It always warms ones heart to hear they are appreciated, and apparently at least to her, my work here is.So thank you, Trish!
So this week I find myself breaking all the rules and joining the Hallmarks and commercial businesses out there and decking the halls even before the Thanksgiving turkey is served. Yes, this year, I am one of THOSE people.To those of you wanting to shake your fingers at me and say shame on me for giving in to the commercialism and breaking out the holiday lights and displays too early, to you I say I know. Really, it is too early. But at least I don't have a tree up yet.
You see, traditionlly, the holiday season like for so many others, is my favorite time of the year. I can't wait to twirl in the magic of the newly fallen snow amid the wet falling flakes, and hang up my twinkle lights for all to see. I embark on the venture of choosing a tree with great seriousness and purpose. There is, after all, only one kind of "right" tree and each year I am in search of the perfect one. I decorate it carefully, selecting each ornament and placing it with care in the perfect location. Then there is of course,the Department 56 snow village I construct with all the people and lights and buildings.There is the garland, and animated snowmen and other holiday figures, which entertain my kids for hours, and the snow globes that line my shelf. The stalkings are hung on the wall with care, and the smell of pine christens the air. Needless to say with the last couple months I've been having, this has been exactly what the doctor's ordered.
And so, instead of spending our evenings making the traditional post day-care pick up drive looking for other peoples "ho-ho lights", as my son calls them, we put up our own. I am happy to see others are following our lead and doing the same.Instead of looking at bare spaces where the Halloween decorations just came and went, we filled them with all the Christmas decorations we could muster from the garage.We pulled out the holiday CD's and they now are our driving entertainment. And tonight I sit back, and look around at the wonder we created (minus the tree, I am not that over zealous) I think what a gift I have given myself, and my kids.
You see, while for many the holiday season feels like a time of hustle bustle and business, when I sit amid my atmosphere of garland, and primitive holiday decor, with soft white lights and holiday music, while drinking hot cocoa in my favorite flannel pajamas, life slows down. The kids faces light up and their innocence shines through. There is of course talk of Santa Clause, and as I parent I love it because it is the perfect trick for getting the kids to listen for a month out of the year (can't tell you how many times I have already used the line- "You better behave because Santa Clause is watching!"). In these past few weeks, this is exactly what I have needed.And so albeit it a bit early, even I could not resist the temptation to invite Christmas to come a bit early this year. It's not like I have money to splurge on the kids on fantastic gifts- though I am certain I will find a way, I always do- and while life is far from great or even good right now, to me it's about more then that. It's about believing in something or someone greater then ourselves.It is about believng in something or someone that represents what we fight our whole lives to become. It is about being and belonging.It is about coming together and celebrating a season far more magical then any of us realize.And perhaps that is what I have needed lately- something to believe in.We all need something to believe in from time to time, don't we?
And so not only have I invited the holidays to come early, but I am encompassing myself with them. One of my favorite ventures as of late has been to Menards of all places, and no,it's not to pick up a fine looking man in the hardware isle.Instead I go and visit their enchanted holiday display. For those of you who don't know about it, it is in the center of the store and is something they do every year. They put up dozens of trees, decorating them with dozens of lights and ornaments, and set up other displays of figurines and lighted objects, etc. The lights are dim and there is holiday music playing overhead. It is so easy to wander through it and get lost. I have found that while there, every thing else seems to disappear.I am not sure if it is the lights, or the sounds, or just the wonder of it all, but it is an escape, there, in the middle of Menards of all places. And for you Chronicle moms out there needing a break, I strongly suggest you go meander through. I even brought the kids. They loved looking at all the lights and displays. And of course, there is a toy section close if the light display isn't enough for them. And it's not like that is the only store that has such a thing. I spend my days these days, visiting the various local stores wandering through their holiday displays. I have my usual suspects, and each year I pay visits to each one.I do not feel the need to buy things or spend money, simply to be and take in all the things that the season has to offer.And in the evenings, when the kids get restless we get in the car and drive around finding local light displays and getting excited about the new ones we find.To that end I say, get up your holiday lights!! There are seriously too many dark streets in Hastings with out a single one! Now, to those of you who are already sporting the decked out tree in the front window, I applaud you, for you have more holiday spirit then even I! But to those of you who are struggling to find it with in you to even take down the Halloween pumpkins (no it doesn't mean you have to get rid of the candy!- Just change he bowl you store it in!) I strongly encourage you to do some soul searching and discover what this holiday season means for you. When you find it, embrace it, and use it to surround yourself in whatever it is that helps you remember it.
For me, this holiday season is about having faith.Having faith that things will be better, having faith in myself to overcome the adversity in my life, having faith in God to guide me to where I am supposed to go. It's also about believing.I have always had a child like faith.I have always held on to the mythical figures of Santa Clause and the Easter bunny, not for what they bring but for what they represent, primary of which is selfless giving. And as I teach my kids about such figures and they develop their own beliefs I also intend to teach them about what this season is really about.
As I write this I am reminded of my favorite holiday movie, "Miracle on 34th Street". I am fairly certain most of you are familiar with it so I will skip the synopsis.Ultimately, though, the movie is about having faith in someting and believing in something that exists even if it is not something tangable or that you can touch.For me, my belief this year is needing to extend far beyond Santa Clause.While an adult, I still have a belief in the spirit of him; however, what I am talking about extends quite far beyond that. And so be it a bit early, I do have my holday lights and displays up not for commercial reasons, but as reminders in this difficult time, that there is still some magic out there.That life still is something I can believe in and that my kids can believe in. I don't know about you, but I will trade pumpkins for that any day, even if the turkeys have not yet been defrosted
Welcome back for another rendition of the Mom Chronicles.A special shout out to Trish, my biggest fan.It always warms ones heart to hear they are appreciated, and apparently at least to her, my work here is.So thank you, Trish!
So this week I find myself breaking all the rules and joining the Hallmarks and commercial businesses out there and decking the halls even before the Thanksgiving turkey is served. Yes, this year, I am one of THOSE people.To those of you wanting to shake your fingers at me and say shame on me for giving in to the commercialism and breaking out the holiday lights and displays too early, to you I say I know. Really, it is too early. But at least I don't have a tree up yet.
You see, traditionlly, the holiday season like for so many others, is my favorite time of the year. I can't wait to twirl in the magic of the newly fallen snow amid the wet falling flakes, and hang up my twinkle lights for all to see. I embark on the venture of choosing a tree with great seriousness and purpose. There is, after all, only one kind of "right" tree and each year I am in search of the perfect one. I decorate it carefully, selecting each ornament and placing it with care in the perfect location. Then there is of course,the Department 56 snow village I construct with all the people and lights and buildings.There is the garland, and animated snowmen and other holiday figures, which entertain my kids for hours, and the snow globes that line my shelf. The stalkings are hung on the wall with care, and the smell of pine christens the air. Needless to say with the last couple months I've been having, this has been exactly what the doctor's ordered.
And so, instead of spending our evenings making the traditional post day-care pick up drive looking for other peoples "ho-ho lights", as my son calls them, we put up our own. I am happy to see others are following our lead and doing the same.Instead of looking at bare spaces where the Halloween decorations just came and went, we filled them with all the Christmas decorations we could muster from the garage.We pulled out the holiday CD's and they now are our driving entertainment. And tonight I sit back, and look around at the wonder we created (minus the tree, I am not that over zealous) I think what a gift I have given myself, and my kids.
You see, while for many the holiday season feels like a time of hustle bustle and business, when I sit amid my atmosphere of garland, and primitive holiday decor, with soft white lights and holiday music, while drinking hot cocoa in my favorite flannel pajamas, life slows down. The kids faces light up and their innocence shines through. There is of course talk of Santa Clause, and as I parent I love it because it is the perfect trick for getting the kids to listen for a month out of the year (can't tell you how many times I have already used the line- "You better behave because Santa Clause is watching!"). In these past few weeks, this is exactly what I have needed.And so albeit it a bit early, even I could not resist the temptation to invite Christmas to come a bit early this year. It's not like I have money to splurge on the kids on fantastic gifts- though I am certain I will find a way, I always do- and while life is far from great or even good right now, to me it's about more then that. It's about believing in something or someone greater then ourselves.It is about believng in something or someone that represents what we fight our whole lives to become. It is about being and belonging.It is about coming together and celebrating a season far more magical then any of us realize.And perhaps that is what I have needed lately- something to believe in.We all need something to believe in from time to time, don't we?
And so not only have I invited the holidays to come early, but I am encompassing myself with them. One of my favorite ventures as of late has been to Menards of all places, and no,it's not to pick up a fine looking man in the hardware isle.Instead I go and visit their enchanted holiday display. For those of you who don't know about it, it is in the center of the store and is something they do every year. They put up dozens of trees, decorating them with dozens of lights and ornaments, and set up other displays of figurines and lighted objects, etc. The lights are dim and there is holiday music playing overhead. It is so easy to wander through it and get lost. I have found that while there, every thing else seems to disappear.I am not sure if it is the lights, or the sounds, or just the wonder of it all, but it is an escape, there, in the middle of Menards of all places. And for you Chronicle moms out there needing a break, I strongly suggest you go meander through. I even brought the kids. They loved looking at all the lights and displays. And of course, there is a toy section close if the light display isn't enough for them. And it's not like that is the only store that has such a thing. I spend my days these days, visiting the various local stores wandering through their holiday displays. I have my usual suspects, and each year I pay visits to each one.I do not feel the need to buy things or spend money, simply to be and take in all the things that the season has to offer.And in the evenings, when the kids get restless we get in the car and drive around finding local light displays and getting excited about the new ones we find.To that end I say, get up your holiday lights!! There are seriously too many dark streets in Hastings with out a single one! Now, to those of you who are already sporting the decked out tree in the front window, I applaud you, for you have more holiday spirit then even I! But to those of you who are struggling to find it with in you to even take down the Halloween pumpkins (no it doesn't mean you have to get rid of the candy!- Just change he bowl you store it in!) I strongly encourage you to do some soul searching and discover what this holiday season means for you. When you find it, embrace it, and use it to surround yourself in whatever it is that helps you remember it.
For me, this holiday season is about having faith.Having faith that things will be better, having faith in myself to overcome the adversity in my life, having faith in God to guide me to where I am supposed to go. It's also about believing.I have always had a child like faith.I have always held on to the mythical figures of Santa Clause and the Easter bunny, not for what they bring but for what they represent, primary of which is selfless giving. And as I teach my kids about such figures and they develop their own beliefs I also intend to teach them about what this season is really about.
As I write this I am reminded of my favorite holiday movie, "Miracle on 34th Street". I am fairly certain most of you are familiar with it so I will skip the synopsis.Ultimately, though, the movie is about having faith in someting and believing in something that exists even if it is not something tangable or that you can touch.For me, my belief this year is needing to extend far beyond Santa Clause.While an adult, I still have a belief in the spirit of him; however, what I am talking about extends quite far beyond that. And so be it a bit early, I do have my holday lights and displays up not for commercial reasons, but as reminders in this difficult time, that there is still some magic out there.That life still is something I can believe in and that my kids can believe in. I don't know about you, but I will trade pumpkins for that any day, even if the turkeys have not yet been defrosted
Mom Chronicles 18: Seeking Knots
The Mom Chronicles: Seeking Knots
In light of last week's column, I would like to start by saying that the thrill of the Halloween candy has finally left the Peterson household and my daughter's days of crawling around with not just one but two suckers sticking out of her mouth are over. At least for this year.
Unfortunately, life in the Peterson household this past week was replaced by things not so sweet. Frankly, I rather be dealing with candy bars and sticky floors then what we got this week. Let's just say, it was someone's idea of a BAD trick, a whole lot of BAD tricks, that I would seriously like to trade in for buckets upon buckets of candy. If only it were that easy.
I would like to believe that this column is place for you all to come for support and familiarity, to get an occasional laugh and place to relate. I hope over time you have been able to get something out of it. Periodically, though, the weeks come that instead of pouring out to you, I find the need to reach out and seek to pull in. This is one of those weeks, and I really hope that you can help.
I recently have come out of fourteen days in the hospital, not consecutive but two separate hospitalizations totaling fourteen days. Halloween, ironically, was my first day out, but also the first day of what has been a tremendous series of events. Since then, I found out I am losing my job (my primary one, not this one), have lost my insurance - which means I am unable to start the intensive treatment program I was supposed to be in, am soon to be loosing my apartment, my childcare assistence due to not working- which means we are going to ultimately loose our most fabulous child care provider as I can't swing twelve hundred bucks a month with out a job, and my short term disability came to an end. This all happened with in four days. Needless to say, I have been left feeling rather numb. I have tried to put on a brave face for the kids who are too little to know the difference, but as their mom I wonder how I am going to provide for them. How I am going to keep a roof over their head. How I am going to put out all of these fires that have started in my life. Like I said, someone played a bad trick on us, and part of me is waiting for someone to knock on my door and be like, just kidding! Instead you won the lottery! Woo hoo! Unfortunately, that is not going to happen.
Needless to say, this chronicle Mom has found herself for the first time in her life with out hope. It has lead me to question my ability as a mom, and to thoughts of my children being better off with out me with someone who can care for them better. And unfortunately, I have started to really believe this to a point I was off the end of my rope and started out the door. And just then, of all people, my daughter tied me a knot. I was in the living room in the middle of the night in a very bad situation and I heard her crying out in her sleep. There was a lot of mumbling but then clear as day, "Mommy! Mommy!" And she was back to sleep. At the moment I didn't have a knot to hold on to, she gave me one. I realized she needed me. And so I held on, and here I am.
I find myself in quite a predicament. All my life I have been stoic. I have been my kids primary care taker, I have been their rock and their constant. Now I am relying on them to be mine, and you as well. I am reaching out to you, my Chronicle Moms, to tie me knots in a time I can't tie them on my own. Yes, I have contacted the county, and am seeking out those kinds of support, but they are just things. They are not the things that bring meaning or purpose. And so I reach out to you to share your stories of times you have over come life at the bottem. To share about the times when as a mom you felt like you failed your kids but found a way through it. That is what I am seeking from you today.
The sun shines through the window as I write this offering warmth and brightness, two things I am not feeling so much of right now. But I think it's a sign. It has to be, of better, brighter days to come.
Thanks for listening, and for any knots you are able to tie on to my rope that I
In light of last week's column, I would like to start by saying that the thrill of the Halloween candy has finally left the Peterson household and my daughter's days of crawling around with not just one but two suckers sticking out of her mouth are over. At least for this year.
Unfortunately, life in the Peterson household this past week was replaced by things not so sweet. Frankly, I rather be dealing with candy bars and sticky floors then what we got this week. Let's just say, it was someone's idea of a BAD trick, a whole lot of BAD tricks, that I would seriously like to trade in for buckets upon buckets of candy. If only it were that easy.
I would like to believe that this column is place for you all to come for support and familiarity, to get an occasional laugh and place to relate. I hope over time you have been able to get something out of it. Periodically, though, the weeks come that instead of pouring out to you, I find the need to reach out and seek to pull in. This is one of those weeks, and I really hope that you can help.
I recently have come out of fourteen days in the hospital, not consecutive but two separate hospitalizations totaling fourteen days. Halloween, ironically, was my first day out, but also the first day of what has been a tremendous series of events. Since then, I found out I am losing my job (my primary one, not this one), have lost my insurance - which means I am unable to start the intensive treatment program I was supposed to be in, am soon to be loosing my apartment, my childcare assistence due to not working- which means we are going to ultimately loose our most fabulous child care provider as I can't swing twelve hundred bucks a month with out a job, and my short term disability came to an end. This all happened with in four days. Needless to say, I have been left feeling rather numb. I have tried to put on a brave face for the kids who are too little to know the difference, but as their mom I wonder how I am going to provide for them. How I am going to keep a roof over their head. How I am going to put out all of these fires that have started in my life. Like I said, someone played a bad trick on us, and part of me is waiting for someone to knock on my door and be like, just kidding! Instead you won the lottery! Woo hoo! Unfortunately, that is not going to happen.
Needless to say, this chronicle Mom has found herself for the first time in her life with out hope. It has lead me to question my ability as a mom, and to thoughts of my children being better off with out me with someone who can care for them better. And unfortunately, I have started to really believe this to a point I was off the end of my rope and started out the door. And just then, of all people, my daughter tied me a knot. I was in the living room in the middle of the night in a very bad situation and I heard her crying out in her sleep. There was a lot of mumbling but then clear as day, "Mommy! Mommy!" And she was back to sleep. At the moment I didn't have a knot to hold on to, she gave me one. I realized she needed me. And so I held on, and here I am.
I find myself in quite a predicament. All my life I have been stoic. I have been my kids primary care taker, I have been their rock and their constant. Now I am relying on them to be mine, and you as well. I am reaching out to you, my Chronicle Moms, to tie me knots in a time I can't tie them on my own. Yes, I have contacted the county, and am seeking out those kinds of support, but they are just things. They are not the things that bring meaning or purpose. And so I reach out to you to share your stories of times you have over come life at the bottem. To share about the times when as a mom you felt like you failed your kids but found a way through it. That is what I am seeking from you today.
The sun shines through the window as I write this offering warmth and brightness, two things I am not feeling so much of right now. But I think it's a sign. It has to be, of better, brighter days to come.
Thanks for listening, and for any knots you are able to tie on to my rope that I
Mom Chronices 17: Repeat Offender
The Mom Chronicles: Repeat Offender
Happy Post-Halloween, Chronicle Moms! By now we are wishing we never brought the kids out trick or treating to begin with as we are riding their, and our own, rollar coaster coated by chocolate and sugar and things that gew. Each year we do it. We vow not to raid the kids candy bowls and then in a moment of weakness when we've "had it to here" we cave, and oh, how much we love the cave. Unfortunately, the satisfication we get from it doesn't last and we start the roller coaster of satisfaction, followed by guilt, inevitably followed by pouting or irritation in ourselves, and ultmately another splurge. We already ruined todays diet, after all. Then next year we could start our own version of Oprah's "How did I let it happen again?" story, the one she wrote last winter about how she let herself go to put on so much weight again.
Like you, I am here. Only I haven't done so much of the splurge this year. Perhaps that is because I am so busy unwrapping my kid's candy at such an alarming rate that I dont' have time to sneak one in myself! Ok, so that is so a joke, but even at three and one and a half my kids have no shortage of a sweet tooth. Both of them raid the candy bowl at any cause. Of course to each piece I stand on my feet and put my hands on my hips and say, "this is the last one!". Unfortunately by now my kids have learned the only thing less scary then me is a puppy chasing a butterfly so evem my most growly stance is less then intimidation. So I set the table for dinner. It's gummy worms for an appetizer (they are green and kind of resemble a salad), followed by a snickers bar (which resembles a steak), M& M's (mixed vegetables) and a rice krispie bar (a baked potato). For dessert it is anything that dips well in whipped cream. Sound rediculous? Yeah- kind of is. But isn't that how it feels?
I admit I have been weak when it has come to the Halloween candy and setting limits with myself and my kids. Perhaps it is out of guilt as I have spent two of the last three weeks hospitalized and away from my kids. Or could it be because I have intentions on cutting them off but Halloween inconveniently fell on the end of day lights savings weekend and my kids are so crabby from non adjustment to the time change that it (caving on the Halloween candy) proves to be my only minutes of respite? If only I knew for sure so that next year I really can do better. So that next year I can have self control and teach my kids self control and get through Halloween season with no rotted teeth or tummy aches or added poundage. That is my hope. For now, I am but a repeat offender.I have given in to the candy bowl. I am not proud, AND at least I am not as bad as my daughter.
Insert Peterson family story. So we, my kids and I, are hanging out this evening. They and myself are adjusting to my being back home after so much time away, and we are attempting to enjoy a night together. Being the pro-active mom I am, I stopped at the grocery store today and got and abundance of fruit and healthy snacks (perhaps guilt was setting in). We get home and get settled in and of course the kids are starving, so I get them settled into their fruit, which they eagerly inhale. We eat supper, and are sitting around looking at books. All of a sudden my daughter crawls down off the couch, around the corner in to the kitchen, and comes back with a full sized Snickers bar, to which she insisted I not only open all the way, but take completely out of the wrapping. At first I resisted, but I figured she would never eat it so I opened it. To my dismay, she stuck an end of it into her mouth grabbed her blankie and stuffed horsey she sleeps with at night, and lays down on the floor with them, Snicker bar still sticking out of her mouth. Seriously?! I mean, REALLY? Was I seeing what I thought I was? Indeed it was true. My daughter has become a chocolate monster. There she laid on the living room floor snuggling with her blanket and horsey and chocolate bar sticking out of her mouth. What have I done?!! So I take it from her mouth, to which she strongly protested, and to which my son stepped in for her and said, "That's my Ella's chocolate mommy!" (Ella is "My Ella" to Matthew now). I was stunned. The sugar monsters have set in. Who are these children? Certainly they are not mine! They left here on Halloween as an adorable, sweet kitty and brave fireman. They've come back monsters, scary and vicious foaming at the mouth.
This evening the candy bowl is safetely hidden in the cupbord. My children are sleeping peacefully, perhaps with dreams of sugar plums dancing in their heads. But there is no chocolate dripping from their mouths and their fingers are clean of caramel and crumbs. In all visible ways, the sugar monsters that possessed my kids a few hours ago have left to go and torment some one else's family. Beware. They may be at your house next.
For the Peterson house the only thing scarier then the Dr.Schill family haunted garage (which my son was too scared to enter) was my kids, sugar posessed. I have been brave. I have tamed the beasts that were and vow that next year, I will not be a repeat offender. Will you?
Happy Post-Halloween, Chronicle Moms! By now we are wishing we never brought the kids out trick or treating to begin with as we are riding their, and our own, rollar coaster coated by chocolate and sugar and things that gew. Each year we do it. We vow not to raid the kids candy bowls and then in a moment of weakness when we've "had it to here" we cave, and oh, how much we love the cave. Unfortunately, the satisfication we get from it doesn't last and we start the roller coaster of satisfaction, followed by guilt, inevitably followed by pouting or irritation in ourselves, and ultmately another splurge. We already ruined todays diet, after all. Then next year we could start our own version of Oprah's "How did I let it happen again?" story, the one she wrote last winter about how she let herself go to put on so much weight again.
Like you, I am here. Only I haven't done so much of the splurge this year. Perhaps that is because I am so busy unwrapping my kid's candy at such an alarming rate that I dont' have time to sneak one in myself! Ok, so that is so a joke, but even at three and one and a half my kids have no shortage of a sweet tooth. Both of them raid the candy bowl at any cause. Of course to each piece I stand on my feet and put my hands on my hips and say, "this is the last one!". Unfortunately by now my kids have learned the only thing less scary then me is a puppy chasing a butterfly so evem my most growly stance is less then intimidation. So I set the table for dinner. It's gummy worms for an appetizer (they are green and kind of resemble a salad), followed by a snickers bar (which resembles a steak), M& M's (mixed vegetables) and a rice krispie bar (a baked potato). For dessert it is anything that dips well in whipped cream. Sound rediculous? Yeah- kind of is. But isn't that how it feels?
I admit I have been weak when it has come to the Halloween candy and setting limits with myself and my kids. Perhaps it is out of guilt as I have spent two of the last three weeks hospitalized and away from my kids. Or could it be because I have intentions on cutting them off but Halloween inconveniently fell on the end of day lights savings weekend and my kids are so crabby from non adjustment to the time change that it (caving on the Halloween candy) proves to be my only minutes of respite? If only I knew for sure so that next year I really can do better. So that next year I can have self control and teach my kids self control and get through Halloween season with no rotted teeth or tummy aches or added poundage. That is my hope. For now, I am but a repeat offender.I have given in to the candy bowl. I am not proud, AND at least I am not as bad as my daughter.
Insert Peterson family story. So we, my kids and I, are hanging out this evening. They and myself are adjusting to my being back home after so much time away, and we are attempting to enjoy a night together. Being the pro-active mom I am, I stopped at the grocery store today and got and abundance of fruit and healthy snacks (perhaps guilt was setting in). We get home and get settled in and of course the kids are starving, so I get them settled into their fruit, which they eagerly inhale. We eat supper, and are sitting around looking at books. All of a sudden my daughter crawls down off the couch, around the corner in to the kitchen, and comes back with a full sized Snickers bar, to which she insisted I not only open all the way, but take completely out of the wrapping. At first I resisted, but I figured she would never eat it so I opened it. To my dismay, she stuck an end of it into her mouth grabbed her blankie and stuffed horsey she sleeps with at night, and lays down on the floor with them, Snicker bar still sticking out of her mouth. Seriously?! I mean, REALLY? Was I seeing what I thought I was? Indeed it was true. My daughter has become a chocolate monster. There she laid on the living room floor snuggling with her blanket and horsey and chocolate bar sticking out of her mouth. What have I done?!! So I take it from her mouth, to which she strongly protested, and to which my son stepped in for her and said, "That's my Ella's chocolate mommy!" (Ella is "My Ella" to Matthew now). I was stunned. The sugar monsters have set in. Who are these children? Certainly they are not mine! They left here on Halloween as an adorable, sweet kitty and brave fireman. They've come back monsters, scary and vicious foaming at the mouth.
This evening the candy bowl is safetely hidden in the cupbord. My children are sleeping peacefully, perhaps with dreams of sugar plums dancing in their heads. But there is no chocolate dripping from their mouths and their fingers are clean of caramel and crumbs. In all visible ways, the sugar monsters that possessed my kids a few hours ago have left to go and torment some one else's family. Beware. They may be at your house next.
For the Peterson house the only thing scarier then the Dr.Schill family haunted garage (which my son was too scared to enter) was my kids, sugar posessed. I have been brave. I have tamed the beasts that were and vow that next year, I will not be a repeat offender. Will you?
The Mom Chronicles:Learning to Walk
October 22nd 09
The Mom Chronicles: Learning To Walk
Firsts. As humans we experience them every day.As moms we get the joy of experiencing them two fold, between ourselves and our children.There are all kinds of firsts. Firsts words.First haircut.First tooth.First date.First kiss. This past week my daughter experienced a first. Her first steps alone.
Ella is 18 months.She suffers from some gross motor delays which stem in part from being a premie and also due to some physical deformities, for lack of a better word.Her hip does not rotate exactly as it should, her tibias are torked, her feet out toed, meaning they point outwords.Due to this, she has been unable to walk or stand as her ankles and feet which are incredibly flexible due to her prematurity and issues at birth, as well as due to the forementioned issues, have made it quite difficult. So after consulting with our primary doctor, he referred us to the Gillette System in St.Paul.The thing is that as a child, I had the same issues.In fact, it was my mother whom noticed the severity of Ella’s legs, as she recognized it as something that I, too dealt with.For me it meant multiple braces, specialized shoes and the like.For Ella it has meant braces on her feet and physical therapy.The hope is that her legs will straighten out in time.If not, we will surgically have to help them out. Additionally, Ella will always require foot correction of some kind.This in mind, up to this point, Ella has not walked.
Ella has watched her friends run circles around her.The little girls at the park that used to be content to sit and play with her have since learned to walk themselves and no longer have had the desire to sit stationary with Ella. This is heartbreaking to me. That is, it’s been heartbreaking to me, until this week.
While sitting in the doctors office waiting for my own appointment, I got a text message from my husband who had just picked up the kids for me. Ella had walked.She had taken her first steps, and I missed it. She did it for him and her day care provider.My heart sank.Don’t get me wrong, I was suddenly filled with joy in her new success and what it means for her in terms of her independence and socialization, but in a most selfish way, I wished it didn’t happen.Not with out me.Afterall, I am the one who is there for her.Who has taken her to her appointments.Who has worked with her incessantly. And I am the one she didn’t perform for first.
That evening, Ella did show me a couple steps.She was like a baby calf or horse you would see on a farm, legs wobbling and not so sure of herself.Regardless, though, she stepped. I was so thrilled she decided to share that with me.
While I was sad and disappointed her first steps were not in front of me, the joy is in the fact that Ella found her steps to begin with. She is not walking all over yet or even making a tremendous amounts of attempts at steps, but she has made progress.Finally.And to watch that, has been quite the process.
My daughter learning to walk has come at a time that I am learning new skills, too.It’s funny how that always seems to happen- my daughter and I learning parallelly. What that means is that my legs, too feel a bit shaky at times. I do not always feel sure of my next step, nor do I want to let go of a secure hand or finger. I am learning things that will hopefully improve my quality of lifein terms and that will carry me many more days in my life. The same is true for my daughter.
This brings me back to how this column started: with firsts. Each of us experiences them. This past week, my daughter had a big one. One that gives me a tremendous hope that we are making progress and that she will be all right. My first was that during the same time I hit an all time low in my life, and for the first time l lost my hope. I like Ella’s first, better. Fortunately, I have a doctor, I have people in my life who care a tremendous amount about me.Enough to recognize this first in me, and to know that I needed morefingers to hold on to. I thank them for that. I thank him for that.This week, as I strive to take steps out of the darkness of depression that has plagued my life for the past several months, I will celebrate with my daughter as she learns to take the physical steps that will carry her through the rest of her life. That is exciting for both of us.
This week, I encourage you to reflect on your and your children’s firsts. Are you or your kids experiencing some firsts? How are you celebrating them or marking them?Ella’s first steps will be recorded in her baby book as having taken place at exactly 18 months of age to the day. There are many things in life that go uncrecorded. Perhaps this should not be the case. Perhaps instead we should celebrate and rejoice in all of them, as we do our kids. I for one am celebrating. Not celebrating that my first was as painful as it was, but that I am loved enough that it was noticed.
See you next week.
The Mom Chronicles: Learning To Walk
Firsts. As humans we experience them every day.As moms we get the joy of experiencing them two fold, between ourselves and our children.There are all kinds of firsts. Firsts words.First haircut.First tooth.First date.First kiss. This past week my daughter experienced a first. Her first steps alone.
Ella is 18 months.She suffers from some gross motor delays which stem in part from being a premie and also due to some physical deformities, for lack of a better word.Her hip does not rotate exactly as it should, her tibias are torked, her feet out toed, meaning they point outwords.Due to this, she has been unable to walk or stand as her ankles and feet which are incredibly flexible due to her prematurity and issues at birth, as well as due to the forementioned issues, have made it quite difficult. So after consulting with our primary doctor, he referred us to the Gillette System in St.Paul.The thing is that as a child, I had the same issues.In fact, it was my mother whom noticed the severity of Ella’s legs, as she recognized it as something that I, too dealt with.For me it meant multiple braces, specialized shoes and the like.For Ella it has meant braces on her feet and physical therapy.The hope is that her legs will straighten out in time.If not, we will surgically have to help them out. Additionally, Ella will always require foot correction of some kind.This in mind, up to this point, Ella has not walked.
Ella has watched her friends run circles around her.The little girls at the park that used to be content to sit and play with her have since learned to walk themselves and no longer have had the desire to sit stationary with Ella. This is heartbreaking to me. That is, it’s been heartbreaking to me, until this week.
While sitting in the doctors office waiting for my own appointment, I got a text message from my husband who had just picked up the kids for me. Ella had walked.She had taken her first steps, and I missed it. She did it for him and her day care provider.My heart sank.Don’t get me wrong, I was suddenly filled with joy in her new success and what it means for her in terms of her independence and socialization, but in a most selfish way, I wished it didn’t happen.Not with out me.Afterall, I am the one who is there for her.Who has taken her to her appointments.Who has worked with her incessantly. And I am the one she didn’t perform for first.
That evening, Ella did show me a couple steps.She was like a baby calf or horse you would see on a farm, legs wobbling and not so sure of herself.Regardless, though, she stepped. I was so thrilled she decided to share that with me.
While I was sad and disappointed her first steps were not in front of me, the joy is in the fact that Ella found her steps to begin with. She is not walking all over yet or even making a tremendous amounts of attempts at steps, but she has made progress.Finally.And to watch that, has been quite the process.
My daughter learning to walk has come at a time that I am learning new skills, too.It’s funny how that always seems to happen- my daughter and I learning parallelly. What that means is that my legs, too feel a bit shaky at times. I do not always feel sure of my next step, nor do I want to let go of a secure hand or finger. I am learning things that will hopefully improve my quality of lifein terms and that will carry me many more days in my life. The same is true for my daughter.
This brings me back to how this column started: with firsts. Each of us experiences them. This past week, my daughter had a big one. One that gives me a tremendous hope that we are making progress and that she will be all right. My first was that during the same time I hit an all time low in my life, and for the first time l lost my hope. I like Ella’s first, better. Fortunately, I have a doctor, I have people in my life who care a tremendous amount about me.Enough to recognize this first in me, and to know that I needed morefingers to hold on to. I thank them for that. I thank him for that.This week, as I strive to take steps out of the darkness of depression that has plagued my life for the past several months, I will celebrate with my daughter as she learns to take the physical steps that will carry her through the rest of her life. That is exciting for both of us.
This week, I encourage you to reflect on your and your children’s firsts. Are you or your kids experiencing some firsts? How are you celebrating them or marking them?Ella’s first steps will be recorded in her baby book as having taken place at exactly 18 months of age to the day. There are many things in life that go uncrecorded. Perhaps this should not be the case. Perhaps instead we should celebrate and rejoice in all of them, as we do our kids. I for one am celebrating. Not celebrating that my first was as painful as it was, but that I am loved enough that it was noticed.
See you next week.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Happy Fall! (Finally)
Hey, Moms~
Hope you are having a great fall (finally)! I don't know about you but I was overjoyed to have the great weather this past weekend. What a treat! We did the orchard, pumpkin patch, parks, etc. Read all about it in this week's mom chronicles. I hope you are taking time to enjoy the season.
As for us, we are hanging in there. Still amid a whirlwind of life changes, but I am working on embracing them rather then resisting them. I look forward to school in the spring and the possiblity of other life changes, ie career, etc.
On a last note, congrats to my friend Amy who is new to the Mom's club. She gave birth to her first born earlier this month. Congratulations, Amy! It's a great ride!
Have a great week!
Amy
Hope you are having a great fall (finally)! I don't know about you but I was overjoyed to have the great weather this past weekend. What a treat! We did the orchard, pumpkin patch, parks, etc. Read all about it in this week's mom chronicles. I hope you are taking time to enjoy the season.
As for us, we are hanging in there. Still amid a whirlwind of life changes, but I am working on embracing them rather then resisting them. I look forward to school in the spring and the possiblity of other life changes, ie career, etc.
On a last note, congrats to my friend Amy who is new to the Mom's club. She gave birth to her first born earlier this month. Congratulations, Amy! It's a great ride!
Have a great week!
Amy
Mom Chrpnicles 15 Oct 2009
The Mom Chronicles: Pumpkins, Apples and Parks, Oh, My!
What a weekend! It's amazing what lies hidden beneath the surface of a beautiful fall day! This past weekend we had a pair of them. Finally, I could suit up my kids in light coats and sweats and head out to show them what the fall is all about!
A forecast of warmth, albeit relative, and sun was all it took for me to arouse my kids early on Saturday morning and pack up our things for a day out. Armed with a camera and lots of tissues for the kids' runny noses, we set out early to beat the crowds and hopefully, beat the afternoon melt downs, as well. Our first stop? A pumpkin patch of a local farmer. They had wagons of pumpkins of all shapes and sizes and a field still lined with the orange prizes. The best part? They were cheap! We were the first ones there, and that meant we had prime choice of the pumpkins and prime picture spots for that matter! The owners were thrilled to help take pictures of me and the kids, and helped to entertain the kids while I picked out the perfect pumpkins. Our result? Three big pumpkins, one medium sized one and a baby one.. In other words, one for each of us, one for Baby Sam, and a final random baby one. My son picked that one. Perhaps he has insight into my soul and my desire for another little pumpkin. Now granted I let Matthew pick his own, and it wasn't exactly the one I would have picked, but it is his and he can't wait to cut in to it. As for mine- they are pretty prime I must admit. There are two things during the year I am particular about- pumpkins and Christmas trees. This year was no exception.
After packing up the pumpkins we headed to Afton Apple. It has been a couple years since we have been to an orchard, and I have never personally been to that one, so that was second on our agenda for the day. To my surprise, the kids did great. We walked the rows of apples and Matthew eagerly helped me bag up the fresh apples. I did have to watch for his occasional wormy one he tried to throw in, but all in all we did good. We did the hay ride, and petting farm, and play ground, and of course devoured the apple cider brats for lunch. The venture would have been perfect, had my son not reached deep with in and off leashed that three year old side of him he so likes to show. There was a point I was practically yelling his name over every one else while waiting in line to pay for our goods before we left. He had his threshold. I got more then one look from other orchard goers as my son chose to run off on more then one occasion and I had to bite my tongue as if not to say, "Oh, whatever! As if your kids never did that!" The gal at the checkout gave me a look that even now I can't quite make out. I couldn't tell if it was a look of compassion or a look of disgust. Luckily, his performance only lasted a few minutes and we were on our way. The result? A bag of beautiful, tasty apples, loads of pictures and irreplaceable memories. When my kids called their dad to tell him what they did that day, his response was one of sorrow that he missed out. My thoughts of that? Your choice, your loss. I for one am so thankful to have those times with my kids. Oh, and what made the day the best? Both kids took naps when we got home. Both of them. For like, three hours. It can't get sweeter than that!!!
Sunday was all about the park. We went out to Spring Lake Park Reserve and had almost the whole place to ourselves. Where is everyone, I thought? Don't you know what you are missing? I let the kids loose to run, at least Matthew, the wooded trails. He climbed up on stumps and fallen trees and offered me some delightful photo opportunities. Even Ella got in to it and "posed" with her brother for pictures in the leaves. We had a picnic lunch and I let them play on the "Big playground" vs the "Little one" that they are limited to when they go with their day care. My daughter squeeled as she slid down the slides and sailed in to the air on the swings. This was followed by a most fabulous Vikings win and once again, both kids napping for me on a rare Sunday afternoon allowing me time to curl up on the couch and watch a movie of my choice, while snacking on caramel apples from the day before.
I may not be in the best of modes these days, and I admit I have been far from my best self, but I will be the first to admit that a cure for that, if only a very short term one, was the weekend I had with my kids.
Next weekend, my kids will be back with their dad. I don't know if he will take advantage of his time with them to set out to make the memories I am committed to making, but I know whether he does or not, my kids will have the memories of these days to carry with them for years ahead.
One of my neighbors recently in observing me putting out Halloween decorations and orange "twinkle" lights with my kids, exclaimed how I am one of those moms who is just meant to be a mom. I may not always feel like an A plus mom, or even close, and I will be the first to admit that I have room to improve, but there still remains some truth to her statement. I am a mom, that I am. And while I have struggled to find purpose in my life, the most clear has been in the role of mother to my kids. I delight in them, and they in me. What better gift is there?
And so, my chronicle moms, I hope you are out making memories, too. Be it to jump in piles of leaves in the yard, go to orchards, haunted houses or the like, I hope you take the time to enjoy the season, limited as it has been, and to make memories that will last far after your kids move out and you are gone. If only we could bottle this weather, I know, but don't let the weather stop you. Decorate. Bake cookies. Watch Charlie Brown's Halloween special. Dance under the twinkle lights. Twirl in the princess costumes. These days will not last forever.
Have a great week!
What a weekend! It's amazing what lies hidden beneath the surface of a beautiful fall day! This past weekend we had a pair of them. Finally, I could suit up my kids in light coats and sweats and head out to show them what the fall is all about!
A forecast of warmth, albeit relative, and sun was all it took for me to arouse my kids early on Saturday morning and pack up our things for a day out. Armed with a camera and lots of tissues for the kids' runny noses, we set out early to beat the crowds and hopefully, beat the afternoon melt downs, as well. Our first stop? A pumpkin patch of a local farmer. They had wagons of pumpkins of all shapes and sizes and a field still lined with the orange prizes. The best part? They were cheap! We were the first ones there, and that meant we had prime choice of the pumpkins and prime picture spots for that matter! The owners were thrilled to help take pictures of me and the kids, and helped to entertain the kids while I picked out the perfect pumpkins. Our result? Three big pumpkins, one medium sized one and a baby one.. In other words, one for each of us, one for Baby Sam, and a final random baby one. My son picked that one. Perhaps he has insight into my soul and my desire for another little pumpkin. Now granted I let Matthew pick his own, and it wasn't exactly the one I would have picked, but it is his and he can't wait to cut in to it. As for mine- they are pretty prime I must admit. There are two things during the year I am particular about- pumpkins and Christmas trees. This year was no exception.
After packing up the pumpkins we headed to Afton Apple. It has been a couple years since we have been to an orchard, and I have never personally been to that one, so that was second on our agenda for the day. To my surprise, the kids did great. We walked the rows of apples and Matthew eagerly helped me bag up the fresh apples. I did have to watch for his occasional wormy one he tried to throw in, but all in all we did good. We did the hay ride, and petting farm, and play ground, and of course devoured the apple cider brats for lunch. The venture would have been perfect, had my son not reached deep with in and off leashed that three year old side of him he so likes to show. There was a point I was practically yelling his name over every one else while waiting in line to pay for our goods before we left. He had his threshold. I got more then one look from other orchard goers as my son chose to run off on more then one occasion and I had to bite my tongue as if not to say, "Oh, whatever! As if your kids never did that!" The gal at the checkout gave me a look that even now I can't quite make out. I couldn't tell if it was a look of compassion or a look of disgust. Luckily, his performance only lasted a few minutes and we were on our way. The result? A bag of beautiful, tasty apples, loads of pictures and irreplaceable memories. When my kids called their dad to tell him what they did that day, his response was one of sorrow that he missed out. My thoughts of that? Your choice, your loss. I for one am so thankful to have those times with my kids. Oh, and what made the day the best? Both kids took naps when we got home. Both of them. For like, three hours. It can't get sweeter than that!!!
Sunday was all about the park. We went out to Spring Lake Park Reserve and had almost the whole place to ourselves. Where is everyone, I thought? Don't you know what you are missing? I let the kids loose to run, at least Matthew, the wooded trails. He climbed up on stumps and fallen trees and offered me some delightful photo opportunities. Even Ella got in to it and "posed" with her brother for pictures in the leaves. We had a picnic lunch and I let them play on the "Big playground" vs the "Little one" that they are limited to when they go with their day care. My daughter squeeled as she slid down the slides and sailed in to the air on the swings. This was followed by a most fabulous Vikings win and once again, both kids napping for me on a rare Sunday afternoon allowing me time to curl up on the couch and watch a movie of my choice, while snacking on caramel apples from the day before.
I may not be in the best of modes these days, and I admit I have been far from my best self, but I will be the first to admit that a cure for that, if only a very short term one, was the weekend I had with my kids.
Next weekend, my kids will be back with their dad. I don't know if he will take advantage of his time with them to set out to make the memories I am committed to making, but I know whether he does or not, my kids will have the memories of these days to carry with them for years ahead.
One of my neighbors recently in observing me putting out Halloween decorations and orange "twinkle" lights with my kids, exclaimed how I am one of those moms who is just meant to be a mom. I may not always feel like an A plus mom, or even close, and I will be the first to admit that I have room to improve, but there still remains some truth to her statement. I am a mom, that I am. And while I have struggled to find purpose in my life, the most clear has been in the role of mother to my kids. I delight in them, and they in me. What better gift is there?
And so, my chronicle moms, I hope you are out making memories, too. Be it to jump in piles of leaves in the yard, go to orchards, haunted houses or the like, I hope you take the time to enjoy the season, limited as it has been, and to make memories that will last far after your kids move out and you are gone. If only we could bottle this weather, I know, but don't let the weather stop you. Decorate. Bake cookies. Watch Charlie Brown's Halloween special. Dance under the twinkle lights. Twirl in the princess costumes. These days will not last forever.
Have a great week!
Mom Chronicles 14: When Mom Needs A time Out
The Mom Chronicles: When Mom Needs a Time Out
Welcome back, Chronicle Moms! I would say I hope you are enjoying the fall, but between the cold and white stuff this week, it's not feeling very fallish, is it? I feel like I should be putting up holiday decor vs Halloween. Even I can't put up Santa Clauses and Greenery, though yet. I am holding out for at least another month or two until the Thanksgiving Gobblegait is run and turkey is served. Hard to believe we are already thinking of those things, though.
Well, this week has been a rough one for me, let me tell you. I am sharing it with you in the likely case that I am not the only single mom who has been here, in this current position, and that it may benefit at least one of you reading this.
Do you ever have days or weeks where you feel like you have just reached the end of your rope? Where everything goes wrong and nothing goes right and the kids are running circles around you, and there is nothing to do but lock your self in the bathroom and cry because it seems it will never end? If this has been you today, or ever, take heart, my chronicle Mom's, this has been me this past week.
Knowing a lot of you, I think it is safe to say that when our kids aren't doing what they should or are acting completely out of sorts, we give them a time out. What happens then when we as moms are in the same position? Do we give ourselves a time out to stop and think over a situation? Maybe we don't the first time we are feeling stressed or the second time, or perhaps even the third, but by the fourth and fifth time of feeling in over our heads do we take a self imposed time out or try to bite the bullet and trench through it? If any of you are like me, you do the later. Unfortunately doing the later got me in to some trouble this past week. This mom was unable to put herself in a self imposed time out, so someone had to step in and give me a time out. Someone- who was able to recognize that this mom desperately needed a break, and someone who cared enough about me to give me one. So, as it was, my kids went and stayed with my sister for what has been four and a half soon to be five days now, and I got myself a stay at Hotel United. By that I mean United Hospital in St. Paul. You see, this Chronicle mom was not doing so well. As I write this, I am still not in my most ideal form, but perhaps a bit better than five days ago.
You see, the past six months or so have been a little much for this mom. Between my arm and leg injuries, to the single mom life, to a pending divorce, my grandma's failing health, financial issues, etc, etc, etc, this mom has had more than she can handle. In addition, I have suffered a long time of my life with depression and anxiety issues. But here is me. The past six months, I have worked hard to keep it together, to be there for my kids and every one else, to not let myself be less than the stoic mom I feel the constant need to be. What happens when one does that, though, is that it offers no comfort or help to ones self. There is no break. No internalizing support. There is no one who really knows the depth of ones despair, because it's never a priority to share. Obviously, one can't go on forever like this. This mom, while madly in love with her kids, is not madly in love with herself. I do not take my own advice. I do not internalize the love and care I have for others on myself. I just trudge on until eventually, I stumble. This time I stumbled pretty badly.
So here I am. I am looking at my job situation which is dreadful, my financial situation, my relationship status, my health status, etc, etc and I feel overwhlemed and lost. But what I am finally not, is alone. Even at United, I resisted at first the help they were trying to offer me. While they have worked to keep me safe, I worked just as hard to keep those walls up. Afterall, what would happen if this Chronicle Mom indeed did let her walls down? The fear? That I won't be able to deal with the flood that comes through it.
And so, I am working slowly but surely on tearing down my walls, and letting the support of others in. I am learning I can't do it all myself, and that life, as I was recently reminded by someone near and dear to me, is not meant to be a solitary endeavor. That doesn't make all the sorrow and pain and despair go away, but it does remind me as I have so often reminded so many of you, that I am not alone.
I may not always be good at taking a time out and listening to my advice, but I hope you do. I hope that you will recognize as moms, when you need to take a time out or ask for help, that you won't get to where I have been this past week. Your kids need you to be there for them, the rest of us single moms out here need you to be here for us. Learn to recognize when you need to give yourself a self imposed time out to breathe and care for yourself. Learn that you are the most important person you need to take care of, before you can take care of others, including your kids. It may feel selfish at first, but it won't always. You will learn that it will make you a better mom, partner, person.
In the mean time, keep me in mind and prayers in the weeks ahead as I take a time out from life and deal with those things which have been weighing me down. My hope? That I will come out on the other side of this darkness with a light and hope that will make me a far better mom then I ever imagined.
Have a great week!
Welcome back, Chronicle Moms! I would say I hope you are enjoying the fall, but between the cold and white stuff this week, it's not feeling very fallish, is it? I feel like I should be putting up holiday decor vs Halloween. Even I can't put up Santa Clauses and Greenery, though yet. I am holding out for at least another month or two until the Thanksgiving Gobblegait is run and turkey is served. Hard to believe we are already thinking of those things, though.
Well, this week has been a rough one for me, let me tell you. I am sharing it with you in the likely case that I am not the only single mom who has been here, in this current position, and that it may benefit at least one of you reading this.
Do you ever have days or weeks where you feel like you have just reached the end of your rope? Where everything goes wrong and nothing goes right and the kids are running circles around you, and there is nothing to do but lock your self in the bathroom and cry because it seems it will never end? If this has been you today, or ever, take heart, my chronicle Mom's, this has been me this past week.
Knowing a lot of you, I think it is safe to say that when our kids aren't doing what they should or are acting completely out of sorts, we give them a time out. What happens then when we as moms are in the same position? Do we give ourselves a time out to stop and think over a situation? Maybe we don't the first time we are feeling stressed or the second time, or perhaps even the third, but by the fourth and fifth time of feeling in over our heads do we take a self imposed time out or try to bite the bullet and trench through it? If any of you are like me, you do the later. Unfortunately doing the later got me in to some trouble this past week. This mom was unable to put herself in a self imposed time out, so someone had to step in and give me a time out. Someone- who was able to recognize that this mom desperately needed a break, and someone who cared enough about me to give me one. So, as it was, my kids went and stayed with my sister for what has been four and a half soon to be five days now, and I got myself a stay at Hotel United. By that I mean United Hospital in St. Paul. You see, this Chronicle mom was not doing so well. As I write this, I am still not in my most ideal form, but perhaps a bit better than five days ago.
You see, the past six months or so have been a little much for this mom. Between my arm and leg injuries, to the single mom life, to a pending divorce, my grandma's failing health, financial issues, etc, etc, etc, this mom has had more than she can handle. In addition, I have suffered a long time of my life with depression and anxiety issues. But here is me. The past six months, I have worked hard to keep it together, to be there for my kids and every one else, to not let myself be less than the stoic mom I feel the constant need to be. What happens when one does that, though, is that it offers no comfort or help to ones self. There is no break. No internalizing support. There is no one who really knows the depth of ones despair, because it's never a priority to share. Obviously, one can't go on forever like this. This mom, while madly in love with her kids, is not madly in love with herself. I do not take my own advice. I do not internalize the love and care I have for others on myself. I just trudge on until eventually, I stumble. This time I stumbled pretty badly.
So here I am. I am looking at my job situation which is dreadful, my financial situation, my relationship status, my health status, etc, etc and I feel overwhlemed and lost. But what I am finally not, is alone. Even at United, I resisted at first the help they were trying to offer me. While they have worked to keep me safe, I worked just as hard to keep those walls up. Afterall, what would happen if this Chronicle Mom indeed did let her walls down? The fear? That I won't be able to deal with the flood that comes through it.
And so, I am working slowly but surely on tearing down my walls, and letting the support of others in. I am learning I can't do it all myself, and that life, as I was recently reminded by someone near and dear to me, is not meant to be a solitary endeavor. That doesn't make all the sorrow and pain and despair go away, but it does remind me as I have so often reminded so many of you, that I am not alone.
I may not always be good at taking a time out and listening to my advice, but I hope you do. I hope that you will recognize as moms, when you need to take a time out or ask for help, that you won't get to where I have been this past week. Your kids need you to be there for them, the rest of us single moms out here need you to be here for us. Learn to recognize when you need to give yourself a self imposed time out to breathe and care for yourself. Learn that you are the most important person you need to take care of, before you can take care of others, including your kids. It may feel selfish at first, but it won't always. You will learn that it will make you a better mom, partner, person.
In the mean time, keep me in mind and prayers in the weeks ahead as I take a time out from life and deal with those things which have been weighing me down. My hope? That I will come out on the other side of this darkness with a light and hope that will make me a far better mom then I ever imagined.
Have a great week!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Giving Life- Chronicles 13
Moms~
This week's article is near and dear to my heart. I witnessed and amazing act of love from one mother to another last week, and this colum is all about it. I hope you take the time to read it.
Until next week,
Chronicle Mom
The Mom Chronicles: Giving Life
I write this curled up in my bed wearing my flannel gnome pajamas and feeling the chill of the brisk air coming in from the cracked open window. Fall is finally here.
This was quite a week for me. It was a roller coaster I never anticipated, nor have I ever experienced anything like. It was a week of dreams born, and dreams that died. The chill in the air feels almost eerie to me, as it is a reflection of what came, and what has gone.
This past Monday, a child was born. She was a beautiful baby girl, weighing in at just over eight pounds. She had a head full of black hair, and lungs that filled the room with the sound of her cry. Little did she know, that the mother who carried her in to the hospital, would not be the one who carried her out. You see, this lucky little girl now has two moms, the mom who carried her into the world, and the mom who will carry her through it. My friend, her biological mom, had made the difficult decision to let another mother raise her through this life. This beautiful little baby girl was to be adopted by a couple who had not been so lucky as to have a child of their own. Her mother? She has two children already, and this little girl that came, well her mom knew that she could not give her the life she deserved. And so, she made the choice, the very difficult choice, to allow another women to experience the gift of motherhood, and it was a beautiful gift.
I was there to witness the bonding with her biological family, and when she met her new one. I was witness to my friend kissing her little girl's head, and then her handing her over to meet her new family. "Here is your daughter", she said. I was in awe. Awe of her strength. Awe of her selflessness. Awe of the gift she was giving this family. And oh! How thankful they were! No experience in my life compares to witnessing this one. To watch a family being handed a new baby from another, there are no words. What there are words for, however, is how I felt towards my friend.
She did what for most moms would feel impossible. She was willing to give up her own child. But she did it out of a tremendous love that has no comparison. My friend was willing to put her own needs, her own desires, her own wants aside in the most selfless of ways. I have nothing but respect for her in doing so. What made this choice more stoic was that this baby was a girl, when my friend's other children are boys. In addition this was her last child as a procedure after the birth will never allow her to never have children again. In addition, this little girl did not make her way in to this world with out first creating waves. My friend, her mother, went through a tremendous amount just to get her here. Week after week she had ultrasounds and fetal monitoring and monitoring of her own gestational diabetes that came on with the progression of the pregnancy. Yet she did it all for her. All for this girl whom she wouldn't even be taking home with her. How difficult this was.
In the days since the birth of her daughter, my friend has experienced a whirl wind of emotions that only come with such an experience. There are times when she has felt at peace, and others when life without her little girl feel impossible. But she has, with the help and support of her amazing family, has continued on with her promise and commitment to her daughter and to the adoptive family, and has let her little girl go. She will never really be gone, though.
My friend chose an open adoption option and so she will continue to know and see her daughter grow, just through a little different kind of perspective. And in doing so, she gave another family, another couple, an opportunity to be a mom and to be a dad for the very first time. So for this little girl, there will be nothing but love. For she has the love of two families now, her biological family that loved her enough to give her more, and her adoptive family that chose her- yes, her!- to be their very own daughter.
I think of my friend tonight. As I type, it is her first night home from the hospital with out her baby girl. She was able to keep her little pink hat that was placed on her delicate little head after birth, and a measuring tape marked with her measurements. She has the gifts of and from family and friends, but the ultimate gift that most of us come home with, she chose to give to someone else. I can not imagine how it feels, and I imagine it doesn't always feel as stoic as it was. However, my hope and prayer for my friend is that in time, she will learn to see it as I do, and that she can learn to be as in awe of herself as the rest of us. For I imagine there will be many days ahead of her when the cry of a baby is bitter sweet. When the pink in the stores doesn't feel so sweet. But there will be other days, when she will be able to think of her baby and smile. When she will read the letter she wrote her in the hospital or dream of her little girl twirling and be able to twirl in her heart, too, for the gift she gave was great. And one day her daughter will be old enough to know and understand the choice that was made for her. And my hope is that she, too, will be in awe of her mother.
While this all was taking place, I learned of another friend, who in her first pregnancy found her baby had stopped growing and quietly passed away. For her, too, life doesn't really feel fair. A D and C and suddenly that dream that they had, is only a dream that was. In the same time, I quietly and secretly awaited news on whether my third child was on its way, for there were signs. In deed it was not meant to be. No, not great timing, but desired. The yearning is suddenly there, and some how, I have worked my way through the fear of my miscarriage, enough to brave another pregnancy. While I was not trying, I was not not trying, either. And so I accept was is, and what is not. Was is meant to be, and what is not meant to be. I am a mom, just will not be a new mom again soon.
I suddenly feel a chill in the air. It's funny. Life is something with which I associate warmth. This week, I witnessed unbelievable warmth in my friend's gift of life to another family. At the same time, I witnessed her loss, the loss of my other friend, and my own disappointment in what was not meant to be. That feels so cold. Through it all though, there is an eerie sense of calm and peace. As if things are exactly as they are meant to be. Because I do not have the crystal ball I don't have the knowledge of that. What I do have though, is faith and hope and trust. Do you?
This week's article is near and dear to my heart. I witnessed and amazing act of love from one mother to another last week, and this colum is all about it. I hope you take the time to read it.
Until next week,
Chronicle Mom
The Mom Chronicles: Giving Life
I write this curled up in my bed wearing my flannel gnome pajamas and feeling the chill of the brisk air coming in from the cracked open window. Fall is finally here.
This was quite a week for me. It was a roller coaster I never anticipated, nor have I ever experienced anything like. It was a week of dreams born, and dreams that died. The chill in the air feels almost eerie to me, as it is a reflection of what came, and what has gone.
This past Monday, a child was born. She was a beautiful baby girl, weighing in at just over eight pounds. She had a head full of black hair, and lungs that filled the room with the sound of her cry. Little did she know, that the mother who carried her in to the hospital, would not be the one who carried her out. You see, this lucky little girl now has two moms, the mom who carried her into the world, and the mom who will carry her through it. My friend, her biological mom, had made the difficult decision to let another mother raise her through this life. This beautiful little baby girl was to be adopted by a couple who had not been so lucky as to have a child of their own. Her mother? She has two children already, and this little girl that came, well her mom knew that she could not give her the life she deserved. And so, she made the choice, the very difficult choice, to allow another women to experience the gift of motherhood, and it was a beautiful gift.
I was there to witness the bonding with her biological family, and when she met her new one. I was witness to my friend kissing her little girl's head, and then her handing her over to meet her new family. "Here is your daughter", she said. I was in awe. Awe of her strength. Awe of her selflessness. Awe of the gift she was giving this family. And oh! How thankful they were! No experience in my life compares to witnessing this one. To watch a family being handed a new baby from another, there are no words. What there are words for, however, is how I felt towards my friend.
She did what for most moms would feel impossible. She was willing to give up her own child. But she did it out of a tremendous love that has no comparison. My friend was willing to put her own needs, her own desires, her own wants aside in the most selfless of ways. I have nothing but respect for her in doing so. What made this choice more stoic was that this baby was a girl, when my friend's other children are boys. In addition this was her last child as a procedure after the birth will never allow her to never have children again. In addition, this little girl did not make her way in to this world with out first creating waves. My friend, her mother, went through a tremendous amount just to get her here. Week after week she had ultrasounds and fetal monitoring and monitoring of her own gestational diabetes that came on with the progression of the pregnancy. Yet she did it all for her. All for this girl whom she wouldn't even be taking home with her. How difficult this was.
In the days since the birth of her daughter, my friend has experienced a whirl wind of emotions that only come with such an experience. There are times when she has felt at peace, and others when life without her little girl feel impossible. But she has, with the help and support of her amazing family, has continued on with her promise and commitment to her daughter and to the adoptive family, and has let her little girl go. She will never really be gone, though.
My friend chose an open adoption option and so she will continue to know and see her daughter grow, just through a little different kind of perspective. And in doing so, she gave another family, another couple, an opportunity to be a mom and to be a dad for the very first time. So for this little girl, there will be nothing but love. For she has the love of two families now, her biological family that loved her enough to give her more, and her adoptive family that chose her- yes, her!- to be their very own daughter.
I think of my friend tonight. As I type, it is her first night home from the hospital with out her baby girl. She was able to keep her little pink hat that was placed on her delicate little head after birth, and a measuring tape marked with her measurements. She has the gifts of and from family and friends, but the ultimate gift that most of us come home with, she chose to give to someone else. I can not imagine how it feels, and I imagine it doesn't always feel as stoic as it was. However, my hope and prayer for my friend is that in time, she will learn to see it as I do, and that she can learn to be as in awe of herself as the rest of us. For I imagine there will be many days ahead of her when the cry of a baby is bitter sweet. When the pink in the stores doesn't feel so sweet. But there will be other days, when she will be able to think of her baby and smile. When she will read the letter she wrote her in the hospital or dream of her little girl twirling and be able to twirl in her heart, too, for the gift she gave was great. And one day her daughter will be old enough to know and understand the choice that was made for her. And my hope is that she, too, will be in awe of her mother.
While this all was taking place, I learned of another friend, who in her first pregnancy found her baby had stopped growing and quietly passed away. For her, too, life doesn't really feel fair. A D and C and suddenly that dream that they had, is only a dream that was. In the same time, I quietly and secretly awaited news on whether my third child was on its way, for there were signs. In deed it was not meant to be. No, not great timing, but desired. The yearning is suddenly there, and some how, I have worked my way through the fear of my miscarriage, enough to brave another pregnancy. While I was not trying, I was not not trying, either. And so I accept was is, and what is not. Was is meant to be, and what is not meant to be. I am a mom, just will not be a new mom again soon.
I suddenly feel a chill in the air. It's funny. Life is something with which I associate warmth. This week, I witnessed unbelievable warmth in my friend's gift of life to another family. At the same time, I witnessed her loss, the loss of my other friend, and my own disappointment in what was not meant to be. That feels so cold. Through it all though, there is an eerie sense of calm and peace. As if things are exactly as they are meant to be. Because I do not have the crystal ball I don't have the knowledge of that. What I do have though, is faith and hope and trust. Do you?
Chronicles 11
Sorry we are a little out of sync here, but her is #11. Enjoy. Amy
Saturday, September 12th
Chronicles 11
The Mom Chronicles: Putting out Fires
Welcome back, Chronicle Moms! This week is for you, and about you. It is more mom-centered, vs our standard kid centered. I hope it fulfills its purpose.
In recent weeks, I have come to appreciate the fact that there is indeed, life outside of my kids. It has taken me a long time to get to that fact, but there is. What that means for me is not that I get to go out and joy ride or take for granted the time I have with out the kids. What it means, rather, is that it is ok and actually good for me to take time away, and that I don't need to bury myself chin deep in guilt if I do. The same goes for you. Furthermore, not only is it good to have life outside of our kids, it is necessary.
It seems rather cliche' to say we can't take care of others if we don't first take care of ourselves, but I have found that is a very true statement, and one that especially applies to moms. I was recently reminded of this when riding along with the Hastings Fire and Rescue. As I have recently done some soul searching to figure out what direction I want the rest of my life to take, I decided to ride along with one of their crews last weekend to get a taste of what they do and decide if indeed it is for me. As you can imagine those folks see a lot and do a lot, much of which is difficult and demanding. Each decision they make directly impacts the life of someone else whom they are there to help or save. The same, too, applies for us as moms. Each decision we make, every time we respond to our kids, be it in crisis or non-crisis, we are doing so in a way that is going to significantly impact them in their life ahead. While making them drink milk for dinner vs juice or soda doesn't exactly compare to performing CPR on someone whose heart has failed, looking out for the well being of our kids or making those choices for them based on our knowledge of what is best for them does.
Of everything I took out of my day with the Fire and Rescue crew, outside of course of the fact that they are a fabulous group of folks whom we are so lucky to have serving our community, was the need to take care of yourself in order to be able to fully attend to others. Being an EMT or Paramedic or firefighter means putting your own personal wants, needs, fears and desires aside and putting someone else's first. The same goes for being a mom. Why is it then that that is so difficult for us? Indeed we have something to learn from the folks at the fire department, after all, how many "fires" are we putting out each day? I think it is time to stop and listen to the Hastings crew. What a better example to follow?
While there I heard chatter of motorcycles and "bikes", of the car show down town and other various hobbies the guys (and gals) partake in. It was clear by the way the crew responded when the emergency phone sounded, that they were on their game. This would not be possible, if not for those aforementioned activities.
This lead me to thinking. What do I do to prepare myself to put out the fires that arise on any given day, or to respond with confidence when trauma, such as my son hitting his head on a night stand or choking on watermelon occur? Is this something even on my radar? Not so much, or at least, it didn't used to be. Then came this past spring.
This past spring I set out with a goal of running this years Twin Cities Marathon. For me, running has always been an "out" and with a high stress spring, and in anticipation of a higher stress sumer, I knew it was necessary to put that out back in place, so what did I do? I began running. Again. This time, though, it was not just to get in shape or to have something to do. It was to have an outlet, and an outlet that was mine. Just mine. It didn't involve the kids, my husband or anyone else for that matter. I set the goal and started working towards it. It was filling my cup, or "stocking" my fire truck, we could also say. And then it happened. I over trained. I abused those legs that had become my wings and I injured them. Both of them. That was not the part of the story you have all heard. Up until now, you simply knew me as the mom who spent the summer with a cast and walking boot on both legs. You didn't so much know how we got there. That is how. Recently, freed of my casts and boot, I have started walking again, and alas, this weekend I went for my first run. I do not call my legs my wings for nothing. While tired and stiff, my legs remembered what they were to do, and I felt new air in my lungs I had not breathed in some time. I felt an exhilaration, and that heavy, tired energy seemed to drip off of me with the sweat. When I got home, not only was I met with personal feelings of accomplishment, but an attitude and calm better able to attend to my kids and put out their "fires".
I will not be able to run my marathon this fall, due to my injuries, but I will run it again. My eyes are already set on next year. In the mean time, from the Hastings crew and from the thrill I felt in giving myself the out I needed, I have been reminded of what is perhaps our most important task as moms: to take time to take care of you.
My kids have suffered in the recent weeks. I have not taken great care of myself. I have been stressed, and down and overwhelmed and it's no wonder. There has been nothing I have done just for me. That is changing. In addition to riding with the Hastings Fire and Rescue folks, I have decided to return to school to become an EMT and ultimately, Paramedic. I picked up my application to hopefully join the Hastings Fire and Rescue department some day soon, and have started the application process for school. I took time this weekend to "escape" and partook in my greatest love, riding horse on the wooded trails of Northern Wisconsin. I committed to a day long riding trip in a couple weeks (that should give my legs and rear end time to heal from today) that not only will benefit my own mental state, but is a fundraiser for St. Jude children's Hospital as well. To top it off, I paid a visit to a high end grocery store in the cities, where I stocked up on my favorite stuffed olives at their olive bar. Oh, the little things.
My point? Run. In your own way. Do that thing that brings out your wings. If you have to, make a reminder for yourself. A long time ago, since we are on the fire and rescue theme, when I was in a treatment program for my eating disorder, we made what were called our "Firefighter" cards. They were a large recipe card that we decorated in a firefighter theme, and on it listed the things that were helpful to do of friends that were helpful to call, when our souls, our "fire extinguishers" were empty. They were our life lines. Make your own firefighter card. Each day vow to do one thing on it to help yourself be able to fight the fires in everyday life that arise. Include things like reading a book, going for a walk, calling a friend, taking a bath, etc. Make them things easily accessible and make it a priority. Then, if you as mom are having a "9-1-1" moment, when you are feeling overwhelmed, and the kids are screaming or fighting, or the bills are piling high, and you had a bad day at work, and you burn supper while intervening in the fight between the kids... grab the card. Take a time out. Do one thing. It may not help the first time or the second, but you will learn to love those "firefighter" moments. I hope you will take time to do that for you. Heck, include the kids in it. As an activity, make them for all of you. For the kids they can list things for them to do if they are feeling crabby, or grumpy, or if they had a bad day at school, or just need a break. You can say hey, firefighter! And together choose something off of their card that they can do to help the moment. It could be as simple as playing with a favorite toy, calling a friend for a play date, or going out for ice cream. And may this be a way for you as moms, to teach your kids the value of taking care of themselves. Of recognizing when their own fire extinguisher is running low. Theirs does, too remember. It is why they get tired and crabby and disrespectful.
Well, so much or short and sweet. My challenge for you this week? Make yourself a firefighter card, and use it, at least once. Then, whenever you see one, thank the members of the Hastings Fire and Rescue Crew for taking such good care of themselves, and ultimately us, too. We can learn a lot from them.
Good luck putting out whatever fires come your way this week. See you next week!
Saturday, September 12th
Chronicles 11
The Mom Chronicles: Putting out Fires
Welcome back, Chronicle Moms! This week is for you, and about you. It is more mom-centered, vs our standard kid centered. I hope it fulfills its purpose.
In recent weeks, I have come to appreciate the fact that there is indeed, life outside of my kids. It has taken me a long time to get to that fact, but there is. What that means for me is not that I get to go out and joy ride or take for granted the time I have with out the kids. What it means, rather, is that it is ok and actually good for me to take time away, and that I don't need to bury myself chin deep in guilt if I do. The same goes for you. Furthermore, not only is it good to have life outside of our kids, it is necessary.
It seems rather cliche' to say we can't take care of others if we don't first take care of ourselves, but I have found that is a very true statement, and one that especially applies to moms. I was recently reminded of this when riding along with the Hastings Fire and Rescue. As I have recently done some soul searching to figure out what direction I want the rest of my life to take, I decided to ride along with one of their crews last weekend to get a taste of what they do and decide if indeed it is for me. As you can imagine those folks see a lot and do a lot, much of which is difficult and demanding. Each decision they make directly impacts the life of someone else whom they are there to help or save. The same, too, applies for us as moms. Each decision we make, every time we respond to our kids, be it in crisis or non-crisis, we are doing so in a way that is going to significantly impact them in their life ahead. While making them drink milk for dinner vs juice or soda doesn't exactly compare to performing CPR on someone whose heart has failed, looking out for the well being of our kids or making those choices for them based on our knowledge of what is best for them does.
Of everything I took out of my day with the Fire and Rescue crew, outside of course of the fact that they are a fabulous group of folks whom we are so lucky to have serving our community, was the need to take care of yourself in order to be able to fully attend to others. Being an EMT or Paramedic or firefighter means putting your own personal wants, needs, fears and desires aside and putting someone else's first. The same goes for being a mom. Why is it then that that is so difficult for us? Indeed we have something to learn from the folks at the fire department, after all, how many "fires" are we putting out each day? I think it is time to stop and listen to the Hastings crew. What a better example to follow?
While there I heard chatter of motorcycles and "bikes", of the car show down town and other various hobbies the guys (and gals) partake in. It was clear by the way the crew responded when the emergency phone sounded, that they were on their game. This would not be possible, if not for those aforementioned activities.
This lead me to thinking. What do I do to prepare myself to put out the fires that arise on any given day, or to respond with confidence when trauma, such as my son hitting his head on a night stand or choking on watermelon occur? Is this something even on my radar? Not so much, or at least, it didn't used to be. Then came this past spring.
This past spring I set out with a goal of running this years Twin Cities Marathon. For me, running has always been an "out" and with a high stress spring, and in anticipation of a higher stress sumer, I knew it was necessary to put that out back in place, so what did I do? I began running. Again. This time, though, it was not just to get in shape or to have something to do. It was to have an outlet, and an outlet that was mine. Just mine. It didn't involve the kids, my husband or anyone else for that matter. I set the goal and started working towards it. It was filling my cup, or "stocking" my fire truck, we could also say. And then it happened. I over trained. I abused those legs that had become my wings and I injured them. Both of them. That was not the part of the story you have all heard. Up until now, you simply knew me as the mom who spent the summer with a cast and walking boot on both legs. You didn't so much know how we got there. That is how. Recently, freed of my casts and boot, I have started walking again, and alas, this weekend I went for my first run. I do not call my legs my wings for nothing. While tired and stiff, my legs remembered what they were to do, and I felt new air in my lungs I had not breathed in some time. I felt an exhilaration, and that heavy, tired energy seemed to drip off of me with the sweat. When I got home, not only was I met with personal feelings of accomplishment, but an attitude and calm better able to attend to my kids and put out their "fires".
I will not be able to run my marathon this fall, due to my injuries, but I will run it again. My eyes are already set on next year. In the mean time, from the Hastings crew and from the thrill I felt in giving myself the out I needed, I have been reminded of what is perhaps our most important task as moms: to take time to take care of you.
My kids have suffered in the recent weeks. I have not taken great care of myself. I have been stressed, and down and overwhelmed and it's no wonder. There has been nothing I have done just for me. That is changing. In addition to riding with the Hastings Fire and Rescue folks, I have decided to return to school to become an EMT and ultimately, Paramedic. I picked up my application to hopefully join the Hastings Fire and Rescue department some day soon, and have started the application process for school. I took time this weekend to "escape" and partook in my greatest love, riding horse on the wooded trails of Northern Wisconsin. I committed to a day long riding trip in a couple weeks (that should give my legs and rear end time to heal from today) that not only will benefit my own mental state, but is a fundraiser for St. Jude children's Hospital as well. To top it off, I paid a visit to a high end grocery store in the cities, where I stocked up on my favorite stuffed olives at their olive bar. Oh, the little things.
My point? Run. In your own way. Do that thing that brings out your wings. If you have to, make a reminder for yourself. A long time ago, since we are on the fire and rescue theme, when I was in a treatment program for my eating disorder, we made what were called our "Firefighter" cards. They were a large recipe card that we decorated in a firefighter theme, and on it listed the things that were helpful to do of friends that were helpful to call, when our souls, our "fire extinguishers" were empty. They were our life lines. Make your own firefighter card. Each day vow to do one thing on it to help yourself be able to fight the fires in everyday life that arise. Include things like reading a book, going for a walk, calling a friend, taking a bath, etc. Make them things easily accessible and make it a priority. Then, if you as mom are having a "9-1-1" moment, when you are feeling overwhelmed, and the kids are screaming or fighting, or the bills are piling high, and you had a bad day at work, and you burn supper while intervening in the fight between the kids... grab the card. Take a time out. Do one thing. It may not help the first time or the second, but you will learn to love those "firefighter" moments. I hope you will take time to do that for you. Heck, include the kids in it. As an activity, make them for all of you. For the kids they can list things for them to do if they are feeling crabby, or grumpy, or if they had a bad day at school, or just need a break. You can say hey, firefighter! And together choose something off of their card that they can do to help the moment. It could be as simple as playing with a favorite toy, calling a friend for a play date, or going out for ice cream. And may this be a way for you as moms, to teach your kids the value of taking care of themselves. Of recognizing when their own fire extinguisher is running low. Theirs does, too remember. It is why they get tired and crabby and disrespectful.
Well, so much or short and sweet. My challenge for you this week? Make yourself a firefighter card, and use it, at least once. Then, whenever you see one, thank the members of the Hastings Fire and Rescue Crew for taking such good care of themselves, and ultimately us, too. We can learn a lot from them.
Good luck putting out whatever fires come your way this week. See you next week!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Still Here!
Hey, Chronicle Moms! Sorry I have not been here in a couple weeks. My computer is in hiatus so it has been hard for me to get here..but I am back in business for now, so here we go! I will post #11 soon, but it is on another computer,so I will have to update soon.
Thanks for taking time to read the blog! I have gotten some great feedback! Thanks for that!
Next week look for another difficult one. I witnessed a very brave friend give up a child for adoption this week.I got the pleasure of meeting the adoptive parents, and spending time with her after the baby was gone. It was difficult for her, but she has done great, and I am in awe of her for her choice. I also learned this week of another friend who lost a child to miscarriage. My heart goes out to both of these women for being so brave to handle these difficult things! I will be writing about them next week, and I hope you tune in.
As for me, I was somewhat disappointed to find out I am not expecting again.I was not trying and my husband and I, as I have shared, and getting divorced. However, I had signs an had a wee bit of hope.I did not get my period, only spotted a couple days. I was sad to hear the test was negative, but relived it was not positve and I was miscarrying with the spotting.My big fear was that I was and the spotting was indicitive of a miscarriage. It was not, but also no baby, and with a divorce, it will likely not happen for me any time soon. I am hopeful, though, that in time I will have another child.I understand the time is not now. I know there are plans greater for me.
That's all for today! I hope you are all well! See you again soon!
Amy
The Hastings Mom
Thanks for taking time to read the blog! I have gotten some great feedback! Thanks for that!
Next week look for another difficult one. I witnessed a very brave friend give up a child for adoption this week.I got the pleasure of meeting the adoptive parents, and spending time with her after the baby was gone. It was difficult for her, but she has done great, and I am in awe of her for her choice. I also learned this week of another friend who lost a child to miscarriage. My heart goes out to both of these women for being so brave to handle these difficult things! I will be writing about them next week, and I hope you tune in.
As for me, I was somewhat disappointed to find out I am not expecting again.I was not trying and my husband and I, as I have shared, and getting divorced. However, I had signs an had a wee bit of hope.I did not get my period, only spotted a couple days. I was sad to hear the test was negative, but relived it was not positve and I was miscarrying with the spotting.My big fear was that I was and the spotting was indicitive of a miscarriage. It was not, but also no baby, and with a divorce, it will likely not happen for me any time soon. I am hopeful, though, that in time I will have another child.I understand the time is not now. I know there are plans greater for me.
That's all for today! I hope you are all well! See you again soon!
Amy
The Hastings Mom
Chronicles 12
Mom Chronicles 12
The Mom Chronicles: This is No Fat Joke
As usual, welcome back, Chronicle Moms! I hope you are having a great week! This week finds me feeling a little bit self conscious. Not that I usually don't, but there have been several references to my, how do I say it- round self, over this past week, and as I embark on this next week I am not feeling so great about that. Part of me can't help but to just laugh at the irony that all the weight related references I got this past week all happened to come with in the same few days. The other part of me is trying really hard not to cry, as I know I am far from the shape I could or should be in.
I think this is a common occurence for us single moms, and not-so single moms as well. As we lack a partner to relieve us to go to the gym or out for a walk or run, we find ourselves not as fit as we could be. Furthermore, I find myself avoiding taking my kids to the grocery store at all costs, which means we frequent restaurants way more than we should (the debris in my car is evidence of that). I find myself feeling a bit more motivated after this past week, though, to make that happen- the gym and grocery store for healthier choices, that is. Here is why.
So I am at a large bookstore last week. I knew I had about 32 hours child free so seeing as the book I was looking for was not in, I approached one of the "booksellers" for suggestions on what I could inhale in terms of a book with in those hours. To my lack of appreciation, she ushered me over to a display promoting a new health book which has a motto related to eating leaves, and lots of them. Basically, about how what we as Americans are eating is all wrong and that we need to return to the all natural, unprocessed food that is leaves, fruits, vegetables, and the like. Obviously she did not notice that my enthusiasm for the topic was not what hers was, that or she just didn't care, but she basically pushed it in to my empty hands and told me she hoped I liked it as much as she did. Needless to say, I did not leave with that book in my bag, though I felt for the kid I saw reading it at the Fire fighters Bouya lunch. The joys of school reading lists. I tried not to take her suggestion personally. I was, after all, in Woodbury where it's all about bottled water and fancy wine.
A couple days ago, I made the trek back to the bookstore to pick up the book I had gone for to begin with. Awaiting me was another 32 hour weekend alone, and at the desk I noticed a friendly looking group of booksellers chatting. Having not gotten a decent read the last weekend, I decided to approach these folks thinking certainly between the three of them they would have a suggestion different then the other earth lady about eating plants. So I eagerly approach them, before asking for my running book, and put the same inquiry out there. Mom, no kids for the weekend, need good book to entertain self. And almost in a chorus what do they recommend to me? The same leaf eating, health nut book that the other lady did. I had to contain myself to not say, "Are you kidding me?! Is this some kind of fat joke?!" I walk in to this store twice, about a week apart, and ask four different people, who should realistically, all have different recommendations for me, right?! Not so much. They all suggest a book to me that promotes better eating and weight loss. And they didn't stop there! They went on to tell me about the manager of the store lost 80 pounds using the ideas in the book. I had to bite my tongue as to not ask, "Are you suggesting I have eighty pounds to loose?!" I felt like being like, "Hey, people! Don't you see the running book I ordered? Don't you see I am attempting to get back off of my rear end? Don't you know that I have had two kids in three years and spent the summer completely unable to do anything physically? Really?" So I thank them for the recommendation, scour a different section of books, and leave a short time later, with my running book, and plan to head to the local coffee shop for a tall Caramel Mochiatto.
At this point, I am starting to question how I really do appear to the general population. Am I flashing "Lazy obese person needing latest health craze"? Enter my son. A frequent response in my household lately to him has been, "when you get bigger". You can see where this one is going. My son, in his growing independence, is asking to do a lot of things, most to which I respond, "You have to get a little bigger, first!" and to which Matthew then answers, "But I AM bigger, mom!" So we are riding in the car on our way to daycare the end of last week. I am having issues from my venture to the book store, amongst other things, and out of the blue my son says to me from the back seat, "You bigger, mommy!" I really hoped I hadn't heard what I thought I did. So I questioned him. What was that, Matthew? To which he replies, "I said you getting bigger, mommy!" Indeed, I have gotten bigger. A lot bigger. And even my three year old has noticed.
And finally, with election season upon us, my wordage here in my chronicles has to shorten up. And how does Chad tell me to shorter things up? By telling me I have to go on a "Word Diet." Of all words to use! Diet. I groaned. I knew what he was saying. I need to shorten these mom chronicles up so you fine citizens of Hastings can express your views on upcoming election topics. I get that. But a word diet? Chad, hasn't anyone ever told you that diets don't work?!
And so I reflect on the words of my last week and I think Ok! I get the message! I am carrying around some extra poundage. I get it! And so I pull out my pen and paper and make my grocery list. I pull my treadmill back out from the wall, where it was patiently waiting to go out to the garage while I couldn't use it over the summer, and I set my alarm for an hour earlier tomorrow morning, with the intention of using it. Have I mentioned I hate mornings? So that is my challenge to myself.
My chronicles have made mention several times lately of taking time to take care of yourself. I guess this is one more area I need to address in doing so. Not that I couldn't have had it any clearer if it was in neon lights or on the scoreboard at a local Raiders game, but it's here and it's mine, and I am actually ok with it. And of course, if I am doing it, I am challenging you to do it, too! Make one or two small changes each week to get you closer to the person physically, or mentally you want to be. What will you do? Will you drink more water? Read the book about eating leaves? Walk in the beauty of the fall? Snack on those prime apples you gather at the orchards with your kids rather than the icecream in your freezer? Make a change. Let me know how it goes. And no, this is not a fat joke. I am a mom, and I know how it is.
On a final note, as I mentioned earlier, the Chronicles will still be here, but in a shorter form, so I encourage you to visit my blog at www.hastingsmomchronicles.blogspot.com I will keep you updated on my progress and hope you will keep me updated on yours, as well.
Have a great week!
The Mom Chronicles: This is No Fat Joke
As usual, welcome back, Chronicle Moms! I hope you are having a great week! This week finds me feeling a little bit self conscious. Not that I usually don't, but there have been several references to my, how do I say it- round self, over this past week, and as I embark on this next week I am not feeling so great about that. Part of me can't help but to just laugh at the irony that all the weight related references I got this past week all happened to come with in the same few days. The other part of me is trying really hard not to cry, as I know I am far from the shape I could or should be in.
I think this is a common occurence for us single moms, and not-so single moms as well. As we lack a partner to relieve us to go to the gym or out for a walk or run, we find ourselves not as fit as we could be. Furthermore, I find myself avoiding taking my kids to the grocery store at all costs, which means we frequent restaurants way more than we should (the debris in my car is evidence of that). I find myself feeling a bit more motivated after this past week, though, to make that happen- the gym and grocery store for healthier choices, that is. Here is why.
So I am at a large bookstore last week. I knew I had about 32 hours child free so seeing as the book I was looking for was not in, I approached one of the "booksellers" for suggestions on what I could inhale in terms of a book with in those hours. To my lack of appreciation, she ushered me over to a display promoting a new health book which has a motto related to eating leaves, and lots of them. Basically, about how what we as Americans are eating is all wrong and that we need to return to the all natural, unprocessed food that is leaves, fruits, vegetables, and the like. Obviously she did not notice that my enthusiasm for the topic was not what hers was, that or she just didn't care, but she basically pushed it in to my empty hands and told me she hoped I liked it as much as she did. Needless to say, I did not leave with that book in my bag, though I felt for the kid I saw reading it at the Fire fighters Bouya lunch. The joys of school reading lists. I tried not to take her suggestion personally. I was, after all, in Woodbury where it's all about bottled water and fancy wine.
A couple days ago, I made the trek back to the bookstore to pick up the book I had gone for to begin with. Awaiting me was another 32 hour weekend alone, and at the desk I noticed a friendly looking group of booksellers chatting. Having not gotten a decent read the last weekend, I decided to approach these folks thinking certainly between the three of them they would have a suggestion different then the other earth lady about eating plants. So I eagerly approach them, before asking for my running book, and put the same inquiry out there. Mom, no kids for the weekend, need good book to entertain self. And almost in a chorus what do they recommend to me? The same leaf eating, health nut book that the other lady did. I had to contain myself to not say, "Are you kidding me?! Is this some kind of fat joke?!" I walk in to this store twice, about a week apart, and ask four different people, who should realistically, all have different recommendations for me, right?! Not so much. They all suggest a book to me that promotes better eating and weight loss. And they didn't stop there! They went on to tell me about the manager of the store lost 80 pounds using the ideas in the book. I had to bite my tongue as to not ask, "Are you suggesting I have eighty pounds to loose?!" I felt like being like, "Hey, people! Don't you see the running book I ordered? Don't you see I am attempting to get back off of my rear end? Don't you know that I have had two kids in three years and spent the summer completely unable to do anything physically? Really?" So I thank them for the recommendation, scour a different section of books, and leave a short time later, with my running book, and plan to head to the local coffee shop for a tall Caramel Mochiatto.
At this point, I am starting to question how I really do appear to the general population. Am I flashing "Lazy obese person needing latest health craze"? Enter my son. A frequent response in my household lately to him has been, "when you get bigger". You can see where this one is going. My son, in his growing independence, is asking to do a lot of things, most to which I respond, "You have to get a little bigger, first!" and to which Matthew then answers, "But I AM bigger, mom!" So we are riding in the car on our way to daycare the end of last week. I am having issues from my venture to the book store, amongst other things, and out of the blue my son says to me from the back seat, "You bigger, mommy!" I really hoped I hadn't heard what I thought I did. So I questioned him. What was that, Matthew? To which he replies, "I said you getting bigger, mommy!" Indeed, I have gotten bigger. A lot bigger. And even my three year old has noticed.
And finally, with election season upon us, my wordage here in my chronicles has to shorten up. And how does Chad tell me to shorter things up? By telling me I have to go on a "Word Diet." Of all words to use! Diet. I groaned. I knew what he was saying. I need to shorten these mom chronicles up so you fine citizens of Hastings can express your views on upcoming election topics. I get that. But a word diet? Chad, hasn't anyone ever told you that diets don't work?!
And so I reflect on the words of my last week and I think Ok! I get the message! I am carrying around some extra poundage. I get it! And so I pull out my pen and paper and make my grocery list. I pull my treadmill back out from the wall, where it was patiently waiting to go out to the garage while I couldn't use it over the summer, and I set my alarm for an hour earlier tomorrow morning, with the intention of using it. Have I mentioned I hate mornings? So that is my challenge to myself.
My chronicles have made mention several times lately of taking time to take care of yourself. I guess this is one more area I need to address in doing so. Not that I couldn't have had it any clearer if it was in neon lights or on the scoreboard at a local Raiders game, but it's here and it's mine, and I am actually ok with it. And of course, if I am doing it, I am challenging you to do it, too! Make one or two small changes each week to get you closer to the person physically, or mentally you want to be. What will you do? Will you drink more water? Read the book about eating leaves? Walk in the beauty of the fall? Snack on those prime apples you gather at the orchards with your kids rather than the icecream in your freezer? Make a change. Let me know how it goes. And no, this is not a fat joke. I am a mom, and I know how it is.
On a final note, as I mentioned earlier, the Chronicles will still be here, but in a shorter form, so I encourage you to visit my blog at www.hastingsmomchronicles.blogspot.com I will keep you updated on my progress and hope you will keep me updated on yours, as well.
Have a great week!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Mom Chronicles 10- Just like me!
Hey, you guys~
Due to computer issues not sure if this is going to make it in to the paper this week, so in case it doesn't, you can read it here. Hope you had a great holiday weekend!
Amy
The Mom Chronicles: Just like me
Welcome back, Chronicle Moms! I hope you enjoyed your Labor Day weekend! By the time this goes to press the kids will be back to school, and the hectic schedules associated with the school year are well under way. Perhaps if you are one of the lucky ones, you may have finally even found time by yourself to sit back and enjoy the quiet and still of a house free of kids. If you are like me, however, while my kids are not yet of school age and the fall then, does not provide the same break, the weekends they are with their dad do, and I find that rather then enjoying the quiet, I miss the noise. Somehow it just doesn't seem right with out the laughter and voices of the kids. Dare I say they are missed? Of course. What kind of moms would we be if we didn't miss them when they are gone, but don't feel guilty if your initial feelings are of relief and respite. You deserve it. You worked hard this summer, moms. Take time to enjoy the quiet. They will be back soon.
Well, I thought this week we would return to the light hearted side of life in the Peterson household. It's been a few weeks, after all, since we have been able to sit back and just enjoy each other. And considering the heaviness of the last week as we remembered our Sam, I feel like we need a week to just laugh. Unfortunately for him, my poor Matthew is the target of this week's column.
My Matthew. What can I say? He's three. He is out of what were a very trying twos, and each day I see him getting a little older, a little wiser, and lot more like me. (Poor kid.) It's funny the way our kids mirror us and our behaviors. It's not until they say or do something, however, that takes us back and we think "Where the heck did that come from?!" that we realize it.
Now, I must preface this by saying that I have basically raised Matthew alone. His dad has worked out of state for some time, and so Matthew has grown to know me, mom, as the constant, and therefor rather than mirroring some of the manly things his dad does, Matthew tends to mirror me. In other words, growing up with mom's influence has at times brought out his feminine side, with out his even realizing it. While I have made a NASCAR and Vikings fan out of him, brought him to a demo derby, car race and buy him an upsurd amount of Thomas the Tank engine trains, I have also painted his toe nails and taken pictures of him curled up sleeping with his sister's babies. Now, don't get me wrong, Matthew has had his share of men in his life. We lived with a friend of mine for a while and her husband sort of became a surrogate dad for Matthew. He'd let Matty mow the lawn with him and take him on rides on the four wheeler. Not to mention Matthew's cousins, my brothers and brother in law, and of course Matthew's dad. The funny stories, however, are not of Matthew doing the boy things he does, but the things that mirror me. Of course, some day he will hate me for sharing them, when he is a big burly football player or race car driver or something macho like that, but for now, he is my baby and I can't help myself but to share them.
It seems as if being three has somehow brought out a different side of my son. He is trying to be much more independent and insists on doing things on his own and making his own choices. He also is much more curious, especially when it comes to body fluids, mainly those of the BM kind. No one in the house can have a bowel movement with out Matthew insisting "I see! I see!", quickly followed by an "EWWWW!!!" This of course, can be mortifying for mom when I take him in to the bathroom in public. On one special evening Matthew walked out of the bathroom and exclaiming to a crowded lobby, "that was a BIG POOP Mom!". Of course no one knew if he was talking about something he did, or I did. I didn't bother to explain. I just ushered him back to his seat and hoped no one recognized us.
Meals have also been more colorful then usual, especially when we eat out. "Sandwich, no tomatoes, diet coke" has come out of my son's mouth on more than one occasion and when offered a choice between milk and juice to drink at dinner one night last week, he very politely stated, "No thank you, mom. Diet Coke please." (I bet you can't guess what my beverage of choice is?!)
Getting primped up has been another highlight of our summer, though this one is not entirely my fault. Prior to my getting my leg casted, I opted to paint my toenails. Well, of course Matthew was present when I was doing this, and insisted on having his painted, too. Poor kid. While he proudly modeled his dark purple toes to his day care friends the next day, he was not exactly met with the response he was looking for. One of the older boys, who is a very boyish boy, gave Matthew a hard time about it, and ever since he tells me when I get the nail polish out that he doesn't want it. I feel bad his feelings were hurt, but it was a good bonding moment for us and I still smile when I see the remnants of the purple polish on his big toes.
Then there is my eye makeup. My son has had some amazing pictures taken of him of his artwork he makes on his face with my makeup. He even recently went in to the baby sitter's purse and went to town with her lipstick. It's been cute for a while but I am kind of thinking that come four, I better put the kabosh on it. It definitely won't be cool then! Then there was a few weeks ago at Walmart. We were in the shoe department and of course, there are mirrors there. My son got on top of the bench so he could see in the mirror and sat and "primped" his hair. When asked what he was doing he simply said, "I handsome now, mom". And then there was last week. My son got in to the car from day care with dry hair and got out of the car with wet hair. I asked him what he put in his hair and he said water. Well, I knew there was no water in the car so I dug around and found an empty cup of what was a beverage of the Sprite or Sierra Mist variety. He had used the pop to "style" his hair on our way home. At day care my provider occasionally does the kids' hair up for them. This episode? Yes, that would be her fault.
Tattoos are something I have a couple of, but don't necessarily promote in my kids ( of course, they are one and three, a little young.) They have not been with out their little press on ones, though, mostly from day care but at home as well. Well one day we decided to get fake press on tattoos out of one of those little quarter machines. We got Mickey Mouse ones for Matty and his dad, and My Little Pony ones for Ella and I. Well, you can imagine, when it came time to put them on, Matthew saw mine and insisted he have a pony one, too. Needless to say I cringed when he ran out to the big boy neighbor kids to show them his "new tattoo". He was so proud. Thankfully for him, they didn't tease him. They were kind and told him it was cool and still let him ride bikes with them, My Little Pony tattoo and all. Special, Matthew. Very special.
This last week provided yet another laugh I did not anticipate. Ella is in the stage of pulling everything out of my purse. Of course in that, includes my feminine products that are kept in it just to be safe. For whatever reason, Matthew was suddenly inspired to unwrap one of the maxi pads and ask me what it was. I told him that it was something that mommy used sometimes kind of like his pullups. To that he proceeded to put it in his pull up and wear it for the rest of the evening. Could have been worse. A friend of mine who has a daughter Matthew's age, in hearing this story, told me her daughter has started teasing her, "Mommy wears diapers! Mommy wears diapers!" as she, too, discovered her maxi pads.
Of all these things, however, my favorite remains something my son did this weekend while on a walk with Ella and I. I was pushing Ella in the stroller and Matthew was walking with me. He spotted a large tree stump, jumped on top of it, threw his hands in the air, and exclaimed, "I the queen!". (Insert reference to the movie Titanic and the famous line "I'm the king of the world!") I can't remember a time I ever professed to be queen, shy of a few colorful moments in college where I said I was the queen of the universe and made a crown with my hands on my head, but nothing in Matthew's life time. So where it came from, I don't know, but my son, my Matthew, he is the queen. I corrected him and said, "King, Matthew! King!" but he liked queen better and once again said, "I the queen!". It was fabulous.
While I suppose I could feel embarrassed for my son for the things he has done to be "just like mom", I can't be really, especially in the times I see him being like me in the good ways. This weekend we had our first experience with staples, of the medicinal form. Matthew decided to jump on my bed, even after all the stories of the monkeys who did that and bumped their heads. And what did he do? Fell off the bed and bumped his head. Not just bumped it, though. Lost a part of it to the night stand. So, profuse bleeding and a trip to the ER, where he got a staple put in it to hold it together, and from him, nothing. The nurses came in to assist the doctor as they hear a kid fussing expecting it to be him resisting the staple, but instead it was Ella, growing impatient with being there. Matthew sat stoic and didn't even whimper. Granted he howled when it first happened and when I tried to wash it up later in the day, but for the hard part, the staple, brave as can be. I can say he gets that from me. And when it comes to looking out for others, he gets that from me, too. I admire how he protects his sister or is ginger with babies or kids smaller then him. He says his prayers when he goes to bed and last week it was, "Bless mom, and dad, and Ella, and Matthew, and baby Sam and (insert a few friends of ours) and God bless Jesus!" This before reciting his own rendition of "Goodnight Moon", the book we read together each night.
I am proud of the little man my son is becoming and it makes me smile when I see him trying to mimic me. I guess it makes me feel good because he must look up to me in some way or form, or he wouldn't be trying to be just like me. There are things he does that I am not so proud of, such as when he says a colorful word or or shouts at me. Those are things that also remind me that unfortunately, I am the most influential person in his life and he does also get those things from me. But at those times it just makes me want to try harder.
Something funny? Ella is now starting to mimic Matthew, much to his displeasure. I guess he is getting a taste of his own medicine, so to speak. I battled with him for some time over spitting at me when he didn't like my answer to something or being told "no". It's no surprise then when today, Ella took one of Matthew's toys and to Matthew's response of "No! No! Ella!", he got a wet, sloppy spit from her instead. Let's just hope she finds other ways of being just like him, and ultimately just like me.
From our house to yours, see you next week!
Due to computer issues not sure if this is going to make it in to the paper this week, so in case it doesn't, you can read it here. Hope you had a great holiday weekend!
Amy
The Mom Chronicles: Just like me
Welcome back, Chronicle Moms! I hope you enjoyed your Labor Day weekend! By the time this goes to press the kids will be back to school, and the hectic schedules associated with the school year are well under way. Perhaps if you are one of the lucky ones, you may have finally even found time by yourself to sit back and enjoy the quiet and still of a house free of kids. If you are like me, however, while my kids are not yet of school age and the fall then, does not provide the same break, the weekends they are with their dad do, and I find that rather then enjoying the quiet, I miss the noise. Somehow it just doesn't seem right with out the laughter and voices of the kids. Dare I say they are missed? Of course. What kind of moms would we be if we didn't miss them when they are gone, but don't feel guilty if your initial feelings are of relief and respite. You deserve it. You worked hard this summer, moms. Take time to enjoy the quiet. They will be back soon.
Well, I thought this week we would return to the light hearted side of life in the Peterson household. It's been a few weeks, after all, since we have been able to sit back and just enjoy each other. And considering the heaviness of the last week as we remembered our Sam, I feel like we need a week to just laugh. Unfortunately for him, my poor Matthew is the target of this week's column.
My Matthew. What can I say? He's three. He is out of what were a very trying twos, and each day I see him getting a little older, a little wiser, and lot more like me. (Poor kid.) It's funny the way our kids mirror us and our behaviors. It's not until they say or do something, however, that takes us back and we think "Where the heck did that come from?!" that we realize it.
Now, I must preface this by saying that I have basically raised Matthew alone. His dad has worked out of state for some time, and so Matthew has grown to know me, mom, as the constant, and therefor rather than mirroring some of the manly things his dad does, Matthew tends to mirror me. In other words, growing up with mom's influence has at times brought out his feminine side, with out his even realizing it. While I have made a NASCAR and Vikings fan out of him, brought him to a demo derby, car race and buy him an upsurd amount of Thomas the Tank engine trains, I have also painted his toe nails and taken pictures of him curled up sleeping with his sister's babies. Now, don't get me wrong, Matthew has had his share of men in his life. We lived with a friend of mine for a while and her husband sort of became a surrogate dad for Matthew. He'd let Matty mow the lawn with him and take him on rides on the four wheeler. Not to mention Matthew's cousins, my brothers and brother in law, and of course Matthew's dad. The funny stories, however, are not of Matthew doing the boy things he does, but the things that mirror me. Of course, some day he will hate me for sharing them, when he is a big burly football player or race car driver or something macho like that, but for now, he is my baby and I can't help myself but to share them.
It seems as if being three has somehow brought out a different side of my son. He is trying to be much more independent and insists on doing things on his own and making his own choices. He also is much more curious, especially when it comes to body fluids, mainly those of the BM kind. No one in the house can have a bowel movement with out Matthew insisting "I see! I see!", quickly followed by an "EWWWW!!!" This of course, can be mortifying for mom when I take him in to the bathroom in public. On one special evening Matthew walked out of the bathroom and exclaiming to a crowded lobby, "that was a BIG POOP Mom!". Of course no one knew if he was talking about something he did, or I did. I didn't bother to explain. I just ushered him back to his seat and hoped no one recognized us.
Meals have also been more colorful then usual, especially when we eat out. "Sandwich, no tomatoes, diet coke" has come out of my son's mouth on more than one occasion and when offered a choice between milk and juice to drink at dinner one night last week, he very politely stated, "No thank you, mom. Diet Coke please." (I bet you can't guess what my beverage of choice is?!)
Getting primped up has been another highlight of our summer, though this one is not entirely my fault. Prior to my getting my leg casted, I opted to paint my toenails. Well, of course Matthew was present when I was doing this, and insisted on having his painted, too. Poor kid. While he proudly modeled his dark purple toes to his day care friends the next day, he was not exactly met with the response he was looking for. One of the older boys, who is a very boyish boy, gave Matthew a hard time about it, and ever since he tells me when I get the nail polish out that he doesn't want it. I feel bad his feelings were hurt, but it was a good bonding moment for us and I still smile when I see the remnants of the purple polish on his big toes.
Then there is my eye makeup. My son has had some amazing pictures taken of him of his artwork he makes on his face with my makeup. He even recently went in to the baby sitter's purse and went to town with her lipstick. It's been cute for a while but I am kind of thinking that come four, I better put the kabosh on it. It definitely won't be cool then! Then there was a few weeks ago at Walmart. We were in the shoe department and of course, there are mirrors there. My son got on top of the bench so he could see in the mirror and sat and "primped" his hair. When asked what he was doing he simply said, "I handsome now, mom". And then there was last week. My son got in to the car from day care with dry hair and got out of the car with wet hair. I asked him what he put in his hair and he said water. Well, I knew there was no water in the car so I dug around and found an empty cup of what was a beverage of the Sprite or Sierra Mist variety. He had used the pop to "style" his hair on our way home. At day care my provider occasionally does the kids' hair up for them. This episode? Yes, that would be her fault.
Tattoos are something I have a couple of, but don't necessarily promote in my kids ( of course, they are one and three, a little young.) They have not been with out their little press on ones, though, mostly from day care but at home as well. Well one day we decided to get fake press on tattoos out of one of those little quarter machines. We got Mickey Mouse ones for Matty and his dad, and My Little Pony ones for Ella and I. Well, you can imagine, when it came time to put them on, Matthew saw mine and insisted he have a pony one, too. Needless to say I cringed when he ran out to the big boy neighbor kids to show them his "new tattoo". He was so proud. Thankfully for him, they didn't tease him. They were kind and told him it was cool and still let him ride bikes with them, My Little Pony tattoo and all. Special, Matthew. Very special.
This last week provided yet another laugh I did not anticipate. Ella is in the stage of pulling everything out of my purse. Of course in that, includes my feminine products that are kept in it just to be safe. For whatever reason, Matthew was suddenly inspired to unwrap one of the maxi pads and ask me what it was. I told him that it was something that mommy used sometimes kind of like his pullups. To that he proceeded to put it in his pull up and wear it for the rest of the evening. Could have been worse. A friend of mine who has a daughter Matthew's age, in hearing this story, told me her daughter has started teasing her, "Mommy wears diapers! Mommy wears diapers!" as she, too, discovered her maxi pads.
Of all these things, however, my favorite remains something my son did this weekend while on a walk with Ella and I. I was pushing Ella in the stroller and Matthew was walking with me. He spotted a large tree stump, jumped on top of it, threw his hands in the air, and exclaimed, "I the queen!". (Insert reference to the movie Titanic and the famous line "I'm the king of the world!") I can't remember a time I ever professed to be queen, shy of a few colorful moments in college where I said I was the queen of the universe and made a crown with my hands on my head, but nothing in Matthew's life time. So where it came from, I don't know, but my son, my Matthew, he is the queen. I corrected him and said, "King, Matthew! King!" but he liked queen better and once again said, "I the queen!". It was fabulous.
While I suppose I could feel embarrassed for my son for the things he has done to be "just like mom", I can't be really, especially in the times I see him being like me in the good ways. This weekend we had our first experience with staples, of the medicinal form. Matthew decided to jump on my bed, even after all the stories of the monkeys who did that and bumped their heads. And what did he do? Fell off the bed and bumped his head. Not just bumped it, though. Lost a part of it to the night stand. So, profuse bleeding and a trip to the ER, where he got a staple put in it to hold it together, and from him, nothing. The nurses came in to assist the doctor as they hear a kid fussing expecting it to be him resisting the staple, but instead it was Ella, growing impatient with being there. Matthew sat stoic and didn't even whimper. Granted he howled when it first happened and when I tried to wash it up later in the day, but for the hard part, the staple, brave as can be. I can say he gets that from me. And when it comes to looking out for others, he gets that from me, too. I admire how he protects his sister or is ginger with babies or kids smaller then him. He says his prayers when he goes to bed and last week it was, "Bless mom, and dad, and Ella, and Matthew, and baby Sam and (insert a few friends of ours) and God bless Jesus!" This before reciting his own rendition of "Goodnight Moon", the book we read together each night.
I am proud of the little man my son is becoming and it makes me smile when I see him trying to mimic me. I guess it makes me feel good because he must look up to me in some way or form, or he wouldn't be trying to be just like me. There are things he does that I am not so proud of, such as when he says a colorful word or or shouts at me. Those are things that also remind me that unfortunately, I am the most influential person in his life and he does also get those things from me. But at those times it just makes me want to try harder.
Something funny? Ella is now starting to mimic Matthew, much to his displeasure. I guess he is getting a taste of his own medicine, so to speak. I battled with him for some time over spitting at me when he didn't like my answer to something or being told "no". It's no surprise then when today, Ella took one of Matthew's toys and to Matthew's response of "No! No! Ella!", he got a wet, sloppy spit from her instead. Let's just hope she finds other ways of being just like him, and ultimately just like me.
From our house to yours, see you next week!
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