The Mom Chronicles 4

The Mom Chronicles 4th Week

July 19, 2009

The Mom Chronicles: Soaking up the Peace

What a difference a week makes! And I am not referring to the weather!

Last weekend at this time, I was feeling very defeated. As I sat down to start writing this column, I had nothing upbeat to say and no funny stories about my kids coming to mind. What was heavy on my mind, however, was the horrendous week I had had with my son and how I was feeling a bit at the end of my rope.

I am happy to report that things in the Peterson household this week are feeling much better. Perhaps it was the “aha” moment that emerged as I wrote last week’s article, or even all the positive feedback I got from several of you who thanked me for writing about what so many others have also experienced but have not felt able to share. Whatever the case, our week was much better. As far as my son was concerned, there were no major outbursts, no one got hurt, and no mortifying public appearances. Instead he was calmer (note I didn’t say calm). He was polite. Loving. There were many hugs, even more laughs, and much love. I don’t know if he finally got it, or I did, or both, but I am happy to report that last week was a good week. Matthew even had his first days of “big boy underwear” to daycare.

So where does all that leave me? I think for the first time I feel a bit of pride. I was proud of my son this week. I was proud of myself, for acknowledging what I was doing wrong and being willing to change it. Was the week perfect? No. Was it completely free of breakdowns or resistance? No. But there was no dark shadow following us. There was no heaviness and oppressiveness that hung over us and it felt good. We had moments of peace, and that is all a mother can ask for. So as we embark on a new week I can only hope and pray that it will be a repeat of the last. I know they can’t all be “good”, but it would sure be nice.

Now, that would be a fantastic ending to a column, ending on a high note, you know. But I can’t just end this without a good Peterson story, can I? What would a “Mom Chronicles” column be with out sharing a good story? Of course I can’t resist. This week was, after all, not perfect.

So what does a crazy mom do that’s feeling overconfident and riding a high of her child behaving well? She is a glutton for punishment so she brings him back to the establishment he last embarrassed her of course! Yes, my overconfidence in my son’s apparent changed ways landed us back at Applebee’s. But I was prepared. Though by myself, I came armed with crayons, balloons, choo-choo trains, and treats. If my son wasn’t going to simply be inspired to behave by himself, I was going to bribe him. To my surprise, he was phenomenal. He sat in the booth. On his butt. On his own will. He only got up to pick up the various things my daughter was throwing on the floor. He sat contently, playing with his balloons. I looked at him and thought, “Really? Is this REALLY my child?” I was so proud.

Unfortunately, as we all know, all good things must come to an end. My perfectly unfolding evening with my little ones suddenly became anything but when my daughter, not my son!- my daughter- started shrieking. Then, my sweet, happy, go lucky little Ella, who rarely provokes even a stern look, lets loose, and as if on cue, throws herself back in her highchair, arches her back and starts screaming. Then come the water works. The tears stream down her face and it is as if someone is trying to dismember her. Then comes my unfortunate reality- I was so concerned about preparing for the outing for my son, that I neglected to prepare for a meltdown by my daughter, seeing as, of course, she has never really had one. So there I find myself, at Applebees, of course- because that is where it always happens, with my son sitting and eating like an angel, and everyone looking at me as my DAUGHTER makes the scene, and I have no bottle or blankie to comfort her.

Needless to say her first grand performance lasted over 15 minutes, and finally it was all I could do to get to go boxes and make a quick exit, once again, out of the restaurant. The ironic part was that this time, it was my son, not my daughter who watched the scene unfold and he was the one who helped me pack up and make the quick exit. Not before, however, all of Ella’s food and a whole glass of pop end up on the carpet. Of course we can’t just leave. We have to make a lasting impression, such as pop in the carpet. What made the evening even more spectacular was when I got Ella in to her car seat, she suddenly stopped whaling and gave me the most giddy, happy giggle she could muster. “Really?”- I asked her. “You have to be kidding me!”- I exclaimed. As drastically as it started, it ended and my daughter was happy as a bug the rest of the night. Sigh. If not one, the other. We were so close.

Just as I am learning to tame my older child, my younger is growing in to her own and emerging with a strong will and demand to be noticed. My days of being unnoticed in public are over. The likelihood of having two children behave in public at the same time is a feat I am not so certain I can achieve. As a glutton for punishment, however, I am certain I will try. One day we will get through an outing to Applebees unnoticed. We will come. We will dine. We will be civil. And we will leave. No apologies. No quick escapes. No mom wanting a margarita to go. Boring.

In the mean time, I am enjoying the pockets of peace I have come to with my son. My son, whom at the moment, is trying to curl his eyelashes with my eyelash curler. My son, whom still says “No” and “Let me be.” But my son with whom I think I have finally come to some kind of truce with. My house is not clean. My carpets are not shampooed. I have to do a load of wash yet tonight just so we have clean socks and underwear to wear tomorrow, but there is peace, and I couldn’t be more thankful for that. There is hope after all.

Have a great week!