My Dearest Moms~
I regret to share with you all that I have lost my baby that I was expecting this July, 2011. I was 13 weeks. Things had been relatively fine until this point. One week there was a vibrant, active little one on the ultrasound, the next week, it was only still with no flicker of a heart.
I underwent a D and E procedure and am having the remains tested for fetal abnormalities. We had just been set up with a genetic counselor, due to a positive screen for a chromosomal problem. I am hoping the results of the studies give me some insight in to why I am having these miscarriages.
This has truly been a devastating time for me. Words can not express the depth of this loss, nor the hole it has left in my heart. This loss occured much later then the previous ones did and I had seen it multiple times through ultrasound and heard it's little heart beating via doppler.
I am not certain what the future holds for me. I have 2 amazing, radiant children whom I deeply love, but my heart still aches for another. I am not sure if I have the strength to endure another loss, and can only hope and pray that if it is God's will that it happens for me again.
I ask for your thoughts and prayers during this terrible time. We will be finding out the gender of the baby with the results of the testing so once that happens we will choose a name.
In the mean time, I have one more angel in heaven, and one more bright star in the sky. My arms and heart feel vacent. Some day I hope a new, healthy, living breathing baby will find its way there. Until then, I don't know the ways of the Lord, but I do know I must trust in Him.
Amy
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