Hey, Moms! Sorry I have been a bit behind on my column updates! Since school started things have been a little crazy!! So in addition to reading my latest three columns, check out the new recipe page! I have recieved various emails from friends with recipes that I will be posting. I have just put a couple up but more are coming very soon so check back. Also coming soon... activities for you and your kids and a journal page from yours truly about the daily events in the Peterson home, not just what is happening in my column. So take time to explore the site more in future weeks. Thanks for taking the time to stop in! And please do become a "follower". It will allow you to get updates when the site is updated, to be able to leave comments, etc.
Have a great week!!
Amy
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Feb 7th "The Mom Chronicles:Who is YOUR Valentine?!"
The Mom Chronicles: Who is YOUR Valentine?
Dare I say you read this on what will be the trail end of another white few days in MN? And so winter continues. Fortunately, this week we have a different color to focus on besides just the white. Red. On the heels of a red theme for heart awareness (have you seen the new Diet Coke cans? I love them!) comes a red theme for well, something different.Valentines Day.
Now, from many who are not partnered or married I already hear the moans and groans. Seems like for those, of who I was one of for many of years, Valentines Day is a day of just surviving. Of avoiding the hearts and lovey dovey stuff and sitting on the couch with chocolate and ice cream and hibernating: Valentines Day- Stinks. Then there are those of us who have some one in our life. For us the day is quite contrary. For helpless romantics like myself, we have our hopes set high on getting flowers or chocolate or jewelry- oh, jewelry. Diamonds perhaps? I would settle for a Ruby. Unfortunately, many of us find ourselves in the very same spot as those who boycotted the holiday all together the day after, when our loved one didn't come through with the flowers and chocolate and bling and we mope. Maybe next year.
Well, moms. I am here to tell you Valentines Day is about a lot more then whether we have someone at our sides or not. And I guarantee by the end of this column, you too, may appreciate the fact that all of us have a "Valentine" in someone.
Exhibit one. Our kids. We all help them elaborately decorate their Valentines Day boxes and fill out cards for each member in their class or day care. May I ask you- are our kids partnered or in love with all of them? No! Of course not! Rather, in them- those kids they so carefully pick out their Valentines Day cards for, they have Valentines of all sorts. There is the one for the kid who was nice to them on the playground. One for the friend who shares her lunch when mom forgets to send one. There is the Valentine for the kid on the bus who DIDN'T threaten to give your kid a swirly, and another for the boy who gave your daughter her first "kiss" on the playground. Finally, there is the special one, the one larger then all the rest, for the teacher who was there through it all, and does their best to make every day feel like Valentines Day.
Yes, moms. Valentines Day is for more then a person who may or may not be at your side. It is not a day just for love and gush and goo. Rather, it is a day to appreciate. To give a playful thanks. To express an appreciation and gratitude that may go unstated the rest of the year.
For me, my husband will be a Valentine. We celebrate our fourth anniversary this week. It's been a very rocky four years, but we are still here. There are the Valentines in my children, who delight (and sometimes not delight!) me through out my days. There is the Valentine in my doctor has been a life line and joy and has helped me find new life. There is the Valentine in my grandmother whose bones are starting to fracture from her cancer but who calls anyways to see how I am doing and how my first exam went. There is the Valentine in a couple friends I met while hospitalized this fall who are extraordinary women and whom brave this adventure of life with me through laughs and support. There is the Valentine in Hastings Family Service who has been there for my family this winter when we had nothing. There is the Valentine in this paper for giving me this space to reflect each week (though I hardly ever meet Chad's word limit request). There is the Valentine in the YMCA for granting me a scholarship to work out there and take care of myself that I may become my best self. There is the Valentine in my professor at Inver Hills College for giving me a point back I missed on my test due to a poorly written question- which gave me my B grade I so wanted. And so the list goes on.
So you see, moms. While your kids are out celebrating this day that could really be looked at as all Hallmark and not much else, make it something else. Take the time yourself to think of who makes a difference in your life. To those... who make you feel loved and special or who have been there for you. You see, a Valentine is not just a person you go to sleep next to each night- it's about all the people you encounter in your day in the waking hours that make a difference to you that are what this day is about. So before you throw your feet up in that tradition of boycott and chocolate eating, take a moment to fill out a Valentine for someone that's made you feel a little "warm" inside. I know I will be.
Dare I say you read this on what will be the trail end of another white few days in MN? And so winter continues. Fortunately, this week we have a different color to focus on besides just the white. Red. On the heels of a red theme for heart awareness (have you seen the new Diet Coke cans? I love them!) comes a red theme for well, something different.Valentines Day.
Now, from many who are not partnered or married I already hear the moans and groans. Seems like for those, of who I was one of for many of years, Valentines Day is a day of just surviving. Of avoiding the hearts and lovey dovey stuff and sitting on the couch with chocolate and ice cream and hibernating: Valentines Day- Stinks. Then there are those of us who have some one in our life. For us the day is quite contrary. For helpless romantics like myself, we have our hopes set high on getting flowers or chocolate or jewelry- oh, jewelry. Diamonds perhaps? I would settle for a Ruby. Unfortunately, many of us find ourselves in the very same spot as those who boycotted the holiday all together the day after, when our loved one didn't come through with the flowers and chocolate and bling and we mope. Maybe next year.
Well, moms. I am here to tell you Valentines Day is about a lot more then whether we have someone at our sides or not. And I guarantee by the end of this column, you too, may appreciate the fact that all of us have a "Valentine" in someone.
Exhibit one. Our kids. We all help them elaborately decorate their Valentines Day boxes and fill out cards for each member in their class or day care. May I ask you- are our kids partnered or in love with all of them? No! Of course not! Rather, in them- those kids they so carefully pick out their Valentines Day cards for, they have Valentines of all sorts. There is the one for the kid who was nice to them on the playground. One for the friend who shares her lunch when mom forgets to send one. There is the Valentine for the kid on the bus who DIDN'T threaten to give your kid a swirly, and another for the boy who gave your daughter her first "kiss" on the playground. Finally, there is the special one, the one larger then all the rest, for the teacher who was there through it all, and does their best to make every day feel like Valentines Day.
Yes, moms. Valentines Day is for more then a person who may or may not be at your side. It is not a day just for love and gush and goo. Rather, it is a day to appreciate. To give a playful thanks. To express an appreciation and gratitude that may go unstated the rest of the year.
For me, my husband will be a Valentine. We celebrate our fourth anniversary this week. It's been a very rocky four years, but we are still here. There are the Valentines in my children, who delight (and sometimes not delight!) me through out my days. There is the Valentine in my doctor has been a life line and joy and has helped me find new life. There is the Valentine in my grandmother whose bones are starting to fracture from her cancer but who calls anyways to see how I am doing and how my first exam went. There is the Valentine in a couple friends I met while hospitalized this fall who are extraordinary women and whom brave this adventure of life with me through laughs and support. There is the Valentine in Hastings Family Service who has been there for my family this winter when we had nothing. There is the Valentine in this paper for giving me this space to reflect each week (though I hardly ever meet Chad's word limit request). There is the Valentine in the YMCA for granting me a scholarship to work out there and take care of myself that I may become my best self. There is the Valentine in my professor at Inver Hills College for giving me a point back I missed on my test due to a poorly written question- which gave me my B grade I so wanted. And so the list goes on.
So you see, moms. While your kids are out celebrating this day that could really be looked at as all Hallmark and not much else, make it something else. Take the time yourself to think of who makes a difference in your life. To those... who make you feel loved and special or who have been there for you. You see, a Valentine is not just a person you go to sleep next to each night- it's about all the people you encounter in your day in the waking hours that make a difference to you that are what this day is about. So before you throw your feet up in that tradition of boycott and chocolate eating, take a moment to fill out a Valentine for someone that's made you feel a little "warm" inside. I know I will be.
Feb 1st The Mom Chronicles:Do as I do
The Mom Chronicles: Do as I do
We have all heard line "Do as I say, not as I do". As moms it can at times be a joke, as we all do or have done things we tell our children not to do, and some times we get caught, while other times we don't. And in the times we do get caught doing that which we told our kids not to do, is when this line most commonly comes in to play. This week, I have thought a lot about this saying. Here's why:
One of the most important things I want to be able to teach my kids is self esteem and pride in ones self. Of course this is amid other very important things such as faith and generosity, however, for me this is one I have struggled with for as long as I have remembered. This week the issue came to a front for me when I had my first big exam at school. I was quite nervous about it, and it fell on a week that was jam packed full of other things that seriously were needing my attention. When all was said and done, the test went ok. However, I was rather down on myself following it as I had set a goal of a certain score that I wanted to achieve on it and scored one point under that. It was the difference between two grades, and I was substantially disappointed. Never mind that I passed and did decently, I was so focused on that one point that I didn't get and "should" have gotten that the next couple days I felt nothing but failure in myself. Then came an email from my professor. She informed me I actually scored higher then the class average and that I should feel quite comfortable in my grade in the class at this time. It was not until hearing this that I was able to finally take pride in the job I did. It was a hard test. It had aspects of anatomy and physiology and pathophysiology that I had never learned before, and quite frankly, I am not an "ology" kind of girl.Yet, I was so focused on that one point I missed that I couldn't see the points I did get right that were enough to pull me above the class average. Hense where the phrase, "Do as I say" comes in to play.
In this week's column I really wanted to focus on building self esteem in our kids and teaching them how to take pride in ones self. Instead of finding all kinds of great suggestions for how to do so, I kept coming back to one important concept: You can't teach your kids something you don't have or exhibit yourself. How do I, for example, teach my son to be proud of something he does that is less then perfect, if I can't find it within myself to be proud of myself when I do something less then perfect? How do I teach my daughter to give herself a pat on the back for doing well at something, when I can't give myself a pat on the back for doing something unless it is flawless, end even then, usually I can find a reason why not to.
And so that brings me to our saying for today. It is a well known fact that children learn best by example. That they are little sponges constantly soaking up the things around them, mostly things displayed by those closest to them. Has your child ever thrown out a four letter word that made you concerned or yelled when they got angry? Where do you suppose they learned that? Likewise, when they help out a friend who gets hurt, or shares a toy with a friend that doesn't have one, where do you suppose they got that?
We are our children's best examples. If we want them to have good self esteem and take pride with in themselves, then we need to remember that that first comes from within our selves. If you struggle with this, you are not alone and you must find ways of overcoming it that you can truly say to your kids "Do as I do". Do that which makes you feel good. Admit when you make mistakes, and apologize to your kids for them. Build mastery in yourself in doing things that make you feel capable and competent, even if it is as simple as washing dishes or cleaning your house. Teaching your kids good self esteem starts with you. If ever I saw my daughter so down on herself for missing a goal score on a test by one point, I would be heartbroken. So, I must teach her that that not be the case. For every time you praise your kids, praise yourself. For every time you reward your child for doing something well, reward your own self for something you did well. And for every time you forgive your child for doing something less then stellar, forgive yourself for something less then stellar you yourself did. And I hope that in doing so, not only will you teach your children to take pride in them selves, but perhaps you will take pride in your own self, too. You are doing a great job. Have a good week!
We have all heard line "Do as I say, not as I do". As moms it can at times be a joke, as we all do or have done things we tell our children not to do, and some times we get caught, while other times we don't. And in the times we do get caught doing that which we told our kids not to do, is when this line most commonly comes in to play. This week, I have thought a lot about this saying. Here's why:
One of the most important things I want to be able to teach my kids is self esteem and pride in ones self. Of course this is amid other very important things such as faith and generosity, however, for me this is one I have struggled with for as long as I have remembered. This week the issue came to a front for me when I had my first big exam at school. I was quite nervous about it, and it fell on a week that was jam packed full of other things that seriously were needing my attention. When all was said and done, the test went ok. However, I was rather down on myself following it as I had set a goal of a certain score that I wanted to achieve on it and scored one point under that. It was the difference between two grades, and I was substantially disappointed. Never mind that I passed and did decently, I was so focused on that one point that I didn't get and "should" have gotten that the next couple days I felt nothing but failure in myself. Then came an email from my professor. She informed me I actually scored higher then the class average and that I should feel quite comfortable in my grade in the class at this time. It was not until hearing this that I was able to finally take pride in the job I did. It was a hard test. It had aspects of anatomy and physiology and pathophysiology that I had never learned before, and quite frankly, I am not an "ology" kind of girl.Yet, I was so focused on that one point I missed that I couldn't see the points I did get right that were enough to pull me above the class average. Hense where the phrase, "Do as I say" comes in to play.
In this week's column I really wanted to focus on building self esteem in our kids and teaching them how to take pride in ones self. Instead of finding all kinds of great suggestions for how to do so, I kept coming back to one important concept: You can't teach your kids something you don't have or exhibit yourself. How do I, for example, teach my son to be proud of something he does that is less then perfect, if I can't find it within myself to be proud of myself when I do something less then perfect? How do I teach my daughter to give herself a pat on the back for doing well at something, when I can't give myself a pat on the back for doing something unless it is flawless, end even then, usually I can find a reason why not to.
And so that brings me to our saying for today. It is a well known fact that children learn best by example. That they are little sponges constantly soaking up the things around them, mostly things displayed by those closest to them. Has your child ever thrown out a four letter word that made you concerned or yelled when they got angry? Where do you suppose they learned that? Likewise, when they help out a friend who gets hurt, or shares a toy with a friend that doesn't have one, where do you suppose they got that?
We are our children's best examples. If we want them to have good self esteem and take pride with in themselves, then we need to remember that that first comes from within our selves. If you struggle with this, you are not alone and you must find ways of overcoming it that you can truly say to your kids "Do as I do". Do that which makes you feel good. Admit when you make mistakes, and apologize to your kids for them. Build mastery in yourself in doing things that make you feel capable and competent, even if it is as simple as washing dishes or cleaning your house. Teaching your kids good self esteem starts with you. If ever I saw my daughter so down on herself for missing a goal score on a test by one point, I would be heartbroken. So, I must teach her that that not be the case. For every time you praise your kids, praise yourself. For every time you reward your child for doing something well, reward your own self for something you did well. And for every time you forgive your child for doing something less then stellar, forgive yourself for something less then stellar you yourself did. And I hope that in doing so, not only will you teach your children to take pride in them selves, but perhaps you will take pride in your own self, too. You are doing a great job. Have a good week!
Jan 25th The Mom Chronicles:Making Progress
The Mom Chronicles: Making Progress
Well, here are again. I am feeling a little hung over this morning after the devistating Vikings loss. Not literally because of any colorful beverages, but emotionally drained. It was a good run, and I was so sad to see it end. Now the big questions remain: Will Favre come back? Does he retire...again? Will the Vikings be able to do it all again next year, with hopefully a better end result? Ahh.. The saga lives on. But for now, like many of you, I am feeling a bit bummed. I think we all really believed they were going to do it, to get to Miami, to bring home that big Super Bowl win. I guess there is always next year.
Aside from this, life in the Peterson household this past week was wonderfully uneventful, if you don't count some serious boundary pushing from a certain three and a half year old. Another week of school under my belt, another week closer to my ultimate goal. I got the time line. I will be an EMT in about four months and paramedic in three years. I dread to think of it taking three more years, and delighted in knowing I am making something of myself, and something honorable. I am not done yet, AND I am on my way. Progress. This week, likely about the same time you are all opening up the paper and reading this, I will be completing my first big Exam. I am nervous, but working on getting prepared. This week I am also attending a scholarship banquet, as I was awarded a generous scholarship by the Foundation at Inver Hills to attend. I will proudly attend to receive my award. Progress.
Then there is my Miss Ella. We had an appointment up at Gillette Children's this week with a Physical therapist, who actually lives here in town (hi, Katie W!). We were sent to her from our provider there as they have been a little disappointed on Ella's progress in walking (she is about 21 months old, and can only take a few steps at a time). The P.T. assessment was reassuring and we will be making weekly visits for the next eight weeks to work with Ella to hopefully develop her skills further that she may finally be able to walk. I am hopful. Progress.
And finally something I havent' talked much about recently, on the account of it being so personal to me: my marriage. This past October I decided it needed it to end and began that process. Shortly after some very scary things happened to me, and my husband was sort of shaken with a wake up call. He has worked very hard to step up and step in and show his dedication to our marriage. We are a couple weeks away from our four year anniversary. Things are not perfect, AND we are making progress. We are not "there" yet, and we are trying to see if we are going to get "there". Progress.
And so my moms, as you embark on this next week in your life, remember that it is not the end result that is most important but all the little things that happen along the way. We did not get to the Super Bowl, but we had one heck of a year. School is along way from being over, but I am doing well and am on my way. Ella can't fully walk yet, but she is taking steps. My marriage is still somewhat broken, and it's slowly getting fixed. Dont' loose sight on the little things, for in them lies hope and promise that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be a better and brighter day.
Have a great week
Well, here are again. I am feeling a little hung over this morning after the devistating Vikings loss. Not literally because of any colorful beverages, but emotionally drained. It was a good run, and I was so sad to see it end. Now the big questions remain: Will Favre come back? Does he retire...again? Will the Vikings be able to do it all again next year, with hopefully a better end result? Ahh.. The saga lives on. But for now, like many of you, I am feeling a bit bummed. I think we all really believed they were going to do it, to get to Miami, to bring home that big Super Bowl win. I guess there is always next year.
Aside from this, life in the Peterson household this past week was wonderfully uneventful, if you don't count some serious boundary pushing from a certain three and a half year old. Another week of school under my belt, another week closer to my ultimate goal. I got the time line. I will be an EMT in about four months and paramedic in three years. I dread to think of it taking three more years, and delighted in knowing I am making something of myself, and something honorable. I am not done yet, AND I am on my way. Progress. This week, likely about the same time you are all opening up the paper and reading this, I will be completing my first big Exam. I am nervous, but working on getting prepared. This week I am also attending a scholarship banquet, as I was awarded a generous scholarship by the Foundation at Inver Hills to attend. I will proudly attend to receive my award. Progress.
Then there is my Miss Ella. We had an appointment up at Gillette Children's this week with a Physical therapist, who actually lives here in town (hi, Katie W!). We were sent to her from our provider there as they have been a little disappointed on Ella's progress in walking (she is about 21 months old, and can only take a few steps at a time). The P.T. assessment was reassuring and we will be making weekly visits for the next eight weeks to work with Ella to hopefully develop her skills further that she may finally be able to walk. I am hopful. Progress.
And finally something I havent' talked much about recently, on the account of it being so personal to me: my marriage. This past October I decided it needed it to end and began that process. Shortly after some very scary things happened to me, and my husband was sort of shaken with a wake up call. He has worked very hard to step up and step in and show his dedication to our marriage. We are a couple weeks away from our four year anniversary. Things are not perfect, AND we are making progress. We are not "there" yet, and we are trying to see if we are going to get "there". Progress.
And so my moms, as you embark on this next week in your life, remember that it is not the end result that is most important but all the little things that happen along the way. We did not get to the Super Bowl, but we had one heck of a year. School is along way from being over, but I am doing well and am on my way. Ella can't fully walk yet, but she is taking steps. My marriage is still somewhat broken, and it's slowly getting fixed. Dont' loose sight on the little things, for in them lies hope and promise that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be a better and brighter day.
Have a great week
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