The Mom Chronicles: Halloween Tricks Start Early
Hi, moms. I come to you this week heeding great warning: Beware of the Pumpkin thieves. Yes, regrettably I must report that they are striking again and striking early. Yes, it seems no pumpkin is safe on the stoops of homes in Hastings. Unless they are tied down or spend the night indoors under the safe roofs of their beloved owners who took such care in picking them to be their beloved Halloween jack-o-lantern, no pumpkin is safe.
Unfortunately my family learned about this scandal first hand this weekend when the great big pumpkins that my dad grew for my kids were taken off of our front steps. I was livid. There were my kids bikes and their wagon out front. It was obvious this is the home of small children. And yet the thieves took it upon themselves to come during the night, choosing to ignore the fact that there would be two very sad children in the morning, and boldly took the pumpkins off of our front steps, when the front porch light was on no less! When my son walked out the front door to leave for preschool in the morning he was devistated. What happened to his pumpkin from grandpa? I was hard pressed to hide my anger.
So enters life lesson number one for my son. At the tender age of four he is already learning how cruel and heartless people can be. I tried to make the situation seem not so horrible and told him maybe it was someone who needed them more then we did or didn't have the money to buy their own, to try to instill compassion instead of anger and resentment. Unfortunately, I don't think my son is feeling real compassionate. Likely, this was not a gesture of someone in need. Likely, it was the gesture of some kids pulling some pranks or a selfish, thoughtless adult, and our perfect Halloween pumpkins probably are spread out somewhere on some pavement, their insides all over, from being smashed or whatever else.
As I have shared this with friends on facebook and other members of the community, it seems this is a frequent occurance here in Hastings. I have heard lots of stories of pumpkin thieves coming during the night, sometimes smashing, sometimes just dashing with them. And while I am sure our community is not alone in this, I am ticked. I like to think of Hastings as a nice place to live and raise a family. A place to be proud of and somewhat removed from the ugly things that happen in bigger cities. Unfortunately it seems we are not all that different after all. We have our drugs (in abundance it seems). We have our school attempted shootings. And now it seems we have our pumpkin thieves.
So my moms, I offer only this advice: protect your beloved pumpkins. Unless you want them to disappear, bring them in at night, or put them somewhere hard for these thieves to get to. Don't assume just because they are on your front steps or next to your home they are safe. Apparently these thieves are bold and willing to take the risk. Don't let your kids fall victom like mine, to the thoughtless, inconsiderate actions of others.
Now, my family has the task of replacing what we lost. They will not be as special, as they were not grown with the love of grandpa for my kids, but we will not let the actions of others ruin our Halloween. We will rise above. We will choose to believe there is greater good out there in the form of people who aren't so mean and inconsiderate. We will get new pumpkins and display them proudly (during the day, that is!)
And on that note, my moms, may your week be filled with more treats then tricks, and here is to hoping that the great pumpkin thieves don't strike in your pumpin patch.
Monday, October 18, 2010
The Mom Chronciles: Fall Shape Up Challenge (10/4/10)
The Mom Chronicles: Fall Shape Up Challenge
If even after reading the title for this column you are still here reading it I applaud you. You've taken your first step. For those who read the title and were scared away at the words shape up and challenge in the same sentence I can only hope that one of you gets to one of them.
The reality is none of us like to admit that there comes a time when our shapes get the best of us. When the scale tips to numbers we'd prefer to be the balance in our bank account and our jeans can't quite be squeezed in to with out feeling like a sardine.
As moms we are notorious for not taking care of ourselves or letting ourselves go. We find time for every one else and their needs, neglecting our own. We don't realize it at first. It starts small. One day we forget to brush our teeth, the next we realize it's been two weeks since we shaved our legs, then we move the sofa to find that gym membership card and realize it's been six months since we last wondered where it was, all while munching on a Big Mac and drinking a Diet Coke as if it cancels things out.
Well, this mom is just like many of you facing these very things. And in fact I probably would have continued on my not so merry way barely noticing that I have let this happen to me, too, if not for some recent calls to reality.
This fall, I find myself at the ripe age of twenty nine forced to finally face some things I have chose to ignore for some time. Don't get me wrong.I've known that I haven't been exactly a picture of perfect health. That I haven't worked out as I should or eaten as well as I could have. And then this past week at the doctor's office I got on the scale. I was horrified with what I saw. "That's a lot of two's!" the nurse said. Thanks a lot, I thought. Ouch. Do I really weigh that much? And then there is my climbing blood pressure that we just can't get a handle on, or the fact I now have developed sleep apnea and have to wear one of those dreaded CPAP machines which makes me feel less then attractive when laying in bed next to my husband. Can you say Darth Vador? And I havene't yet mentioned the size of jeans I recently tried on. This doesn't even include what effect my weight is having on my fertility issues.
So you see my moms, I have a problem. Not only have I let myself go, but I have let myself go in such a way that is effecting my health. There is a reality that obesity comes with consequences. We hate to admit it. We all think it won't be us. But it is so many of us.
So this brings me here. My little come to Jesus moment was followed by some soul searching and I decided if I need to get on the horse and get my butt back in to shape, I don't want to do it alone. And so my moms, I am sorry, but I am challenging you to do the same.
The challenge is a simple one. It is not to loose so many pounds or work out so many days a week. It is to set a fitness goal and work for it. My goal is to finally run the Gobble Gait on Thanksgiving. I would welcome you to make that your goal as well. Not run it, perhaps, but walk it. Just participate in it. That gives us just under two months. By setting a goal, one has to make natural changes in their daily lives to accomodate it. I can't possibly get ready for a race by sitting on my rear end eating fast food. And so I have restarted my gym membership. Just so happened I had some personal training sessions left from the last time I had my membership so I am working with someone else that will help keep me accountable. I am looking for healthy recipes to cook for my family, as I know if I eat better I will feel better. And mostly, I am sharing the venture with all of you, encouraging you to jump on board. What better time but the present? The Gobble Gait marks the official start of the holiday season with Thanksgiving and what a better way to start it then with a fitness routine and healthy eating habits? We all dread those added pounds that seem to pile on during the winter months. Yet each year we succomb to them as if we feel it is our duty, and then make it our resolution to shed the pounds. For many of us it never happens.
This year, let's make the resolution that we won't need to make that resolution. Choose to not put on that winter weight. To be healthier. Are you on board?
I shouldn't forget to mention this won't just benefit you, but your families as well. If you are eating better and being more active you families will, too. Everyone can be included.
I will be blogging about my weekly progress on my Area Voices blog. I encourage you to join me. Share your own experiences and come and be inspired. I hope to see you at the starting line in November.
If even after reading the title for this column you are still here reading it I applaud you. You've taken your first step. For those who read the title and were scared away at the words shape up and challenge in the same sentence I can only hope that one of you gets to one of them.
The reality is none of us like to admit that there comes a time when our shapes get the best of us. When the scale tips to numbers we'd prefer to be the balance in our bank account and our jeans can't quite be squeezed in to with out feeling like a sardine.
As moms we are notorious for not taking care of ourselves or letting ourselves go. We find time for every one else and their needs, neglecting our own. We don't realize it at first. It starts small. One day we forget to brush our teeth, the next we realize it's been two weeks since we shaved our legs, then we move the sofa to find that gym membership card and realize it's been six months since we last wondered where it was, all while munching on a Big Mac and drinking a Diet Coke as if it cancels things out.
Well, this mom is just like many of you facing these very things. And in fact I probably would have continued on my not so merry way barely noticing that I have let this happen to me, too, if not for some recent calls to reality.
This fall, I find myself at the ripe age of twenty nine forced to finally face some things I have chose to ignore for some time. Don't get me wrong.I've known that I haven't been exactly a picture of perfect health. That I haven't worked out as I should or eaten as well as I could have. And then this past week at the doctor's office I got on the scale. I was horrified with what I saw. "That's a lot of two's!" the nurse said. Thanks a lot, I thought. Ouch. Do I really weigh that much? And then there is my climbing blood pressure that we just can't get a handle on, or the fact I now have developed sleep apnea and have to wear one of those dreaded CPAP machines which makes me feel less then attractive when laying in bed next to my husband. Can you say Darth Vador? And I havene't yet mentioned the size of jeans I recently tried on. This doesn't even include what effect my weight is having on my fertility issues.
So you see my moms, I have a problem. Not only have I let myself go, but I have let myself go in such a way that is effecting my health. There is a reality that obesity comes with consequences. We hate to admit it. We all think it won't be us. But it is so many of us.
So this brings me here. My little come to Jesus moment was followed by some soul searching and I decided if I need to get on the horse and get my butt back in to shape, I don't want to do it alone. And so my moms, I am sorry, but I am challenging you to do the same.
The challenge is a simple one. It is not to loose so many pounds or work out so many days a week. It is to set a fitness goal and work for it. My goal is to finally run the Gobble Gait on Thanksgiving. I would welcome you to make that your goal as well. Not run it, perhaps, but walk it. Just participate in it. That gives us just under two months. By setting a goal, one has to make natural changes in their daily lives to accomodate it. I can't possibly get ready for a race by sitting on my rear end eating fast food. And so I have restarted my gym membership. Just so happened I had some personal training sessions left from the last time I had my membership so I am working with someone else that will help keep me accountable. I am looking for healthy recipes to cook for my family, as I know if I eat better I will feel better. And mostly, I am sharing the venture with all of you, encouraging you to jump on board. What better time but the present? The Gobble Gait marks the official start of the holiday season with Thanksgiving and what a better way to start it then with a fitness routine and healthy eating habits? We all dread those added pounds that seem to pile on during the winter months. Yet each year we succomb to them as if we feel it is our duty, and then make it our resolution to shed the pounds. For many of us it never happens.
This year, let's make the resolution that we won't need to make that resolution. Choose to not put on that winter weight. To be healthier. Are you on board?
I shouldn't forget to mention this won't just benefit you, but your families as well. If you are eating better and being more active you families will, too. Everyone can be included.
I will be blogging about my weekly progress on my Area Voices blog. I encourage you to join me. Share your own experiences and come and be inspired. I hope to see you at the starting line in November.
The Mom Chronicles: A Time to Heal (9/28/10)
The Mom Chronicles: A Time to Heal
Fall is finally officially here and with the change of seasons I am reminded of the verse which talks about there being a time and season for everything. I find this season one in which I hope brings waves of healing through the Peterson household. So far, I think we are off to a good start.
With all that went awry the past couple months it was easy to lose focus on the things most important to us. The things, which make our family what it is. These are the things I seek to get back. Fortunately for me, it happens to be my favorite time of the year so perhaps this healing comes just in time that we can heal together under the radiance of the fall colors and coolness in the air.
The thing is stress can have a horrific effect on families. You take what is already a rediculously high divorce rate and add things like financial stress, sick or disabled children and death or loss of life and you see it sky rocket even higher. You look at kids who can normally be resilliant and you put them through significant life changes and one can see regression in skills or knowledge previously learned, acting out and behavior issues, and a handful of other things as well. Now imagine a child who already has developmental challenges as my son and it's been very hard on him. He isn't able to express himself very well and so we are dealing with some of those things I just mentioned magnified by ten. Indeed the past months have been hard on all of us. Certainly my husband and I's already fragile relationship has been challenged. My son struggles to adapt to some of the new changes in his life, and thus far my daughter seems like the most sane of us all!
This said, I am certain we are not the only family who has gone through so much in such a short period of time. We are not the first and certainly will not be the last. There are many families who go through major losses or periods of change and survive just fine. Unfortunately, there are many who don't. We don't intend on being one of them.
So what are we doing to heal? The biggest thing for us is taking time out of the busy to spend time together. Now this can be a challenge as my husband is only in town a few days a month. But I am taking the kids places they enjoy and when he is around, we are going places as a family. We recently went on a fishing adventure. It was great fun. We caught some enormous fish and were able to find escape in a fall oasis that suited us quite well. I have been baking again, and this continues to thrill not just my family, but others who have recieved some of these baked gifts as well. Baking is something I do a decent job at and enjoy, but I don't do much of it when things are as they've been. These days I am making use of the fabulous apples of the season and making things like apple bars and apple crisp. There is nothing that warms the soul more then a hot pan of apple crisp on a brisk day. Additionally baking is something everyone can help with, so it keeps in theme of togetherness.
Perhaps the greatest healing moment came with the addition of a guinea pig whom we named Pumpkin to our family. We had to give up our dog who was a tremendous out and comfort to myself and my kids, and that has been a very big loss for us. Being able to hold and pet an animal can bring a great sense of calm and comfort and so I felt the need to bring that back to my home, so we got a guinea pig. She is the perfect little kid pet. She has a tremendous disposition and lets me and the kids sit and hold her for hours. She is low maintenance, but fits perfectly in our ranks and we adore her. Who knew such a small thing could bring so much good?
And so our journey to heal continues. We certainly have a way to go, but we are off to a great start. We are setting our eyes on the prospect of adding to our family if that is in the greater plan for us, and work to grieve the child we just lost.
And so in the days and weeks ahead my hope is that my family can continue to find a sense of peace and calm and healing that has illuded us for so long.
In the mean time, I will be posting ideas on my blog under the Area Voices section of the paper's website, on ways to help your family heal in times of change and loss. Please feel free to add anything that has worked for you, that we may help each other in our journeys that lie ahead.
Have a great week!
Fall is finally officially here and with the change of seasons I am reminded of the verse which talks about there being a time and season for everything. I find this season one in which I hope brings waves of healing through the Peterson household. So far, I think we are off to a good start.
With all that went awry the past couple months it was easy to lose focus on the things most important to us. The things, which make our family what it is. These are the things I seek to get back. Fortunately for me, it happens to be my favorite time of the year so perhaps this healing comes just in time that we can heal together under the radiance of the fall colors and coolness in the air.
The thing is stress can have a horrific effect on families. You take what is already a rediculously high divorce rate and add things like financial stress, sick or disabled children and death or loss of life and you see it sky rocket even higher. You look at kids who can normally be resilliant and you put them through significant life changes and one can see regression in skills or knowledge previously learned, acting out and behavior issues, and a handful of other things as well. Now imagine a child who already has developmental challenges as my son and it's been very hard on him. He isn't able to express himself very well and so we are dealing with some of those things I just mentioned magnified by ten. Indeed the past months have been hard on all of us. Certainly my husband and I's already fragile relationship has been challenged. My son struggles to adapt to some of the new changes in his life, and thus far my daughter seems like the most sane of us all!
This said, I am certain we are not the only family who has gone through so much in such a short period of time. We are not the first and certainly will not be the last. There are many families who go through major losses or periods of change and survive just fine. Unfortunately, there are many who don't. We don't intend on being one of them.
So what are we doing to heal? The biggest thing for us is taking time out of the busy to spend time together. Now this can be a challenge as my husband is only in town a few days a month. But I am taking the kids places they enjoy and when he is around, we are going places as a family. We recently went on a fishing adventure. It was great fun. We caught some enormous fish and were able to find escape in a fall oasis that suited us quite well. I have been baking again, and this continues to thrill not just my family, but others who have recieved some of these baked gifts as well. Baking is something I do a decent job at and enjoy, but I don't do much of it when things are as they've been. These days I am making use of the fabulous apples of the season and making things like apple bars and apple crisp. There is nothing that warms the soul more then a hot pan of apple crisp on a brisk day. Additionally baking is something everyone can help with, so it keeps in theme of togetherness.
Perhaps the greatest healing moment came with the addition of a guinea pig whom we named Pumpkin to our family. We had to give up our dog who was a tremendous out and comfort to myself and my kids, and that has been a very big loss for us. Being able to hold and pet an animal can bring a great sense of calm and comfort and so I felt the need to bring that back to my home, so we got a guinea pig. She is the perfect little kid pet. She has a tremendous disposition and lets me and the kids sit and hold her for hours. She is low maintenance, but fits perfectly in our ranks and we adore her. Who knew such a small thing could bring so much good?
And so our journey to heal continues. We certainly have a way to go, but we are off to a great start. We are setting our eyes on the prospect of adding to our family if that is in the greater plan for us, and work to grieve the child we just lost.
And so in the days and weeks ahead my hope is that my family can continue to find a sense of peace and calm and healing that has illuded us for so long.
In the mean time, I will be posting ideas on my blog under the Area Voices section of the paper's website, on ways to help your family heal in times of change and loss. Please feel free to add anything that has worked for you, that we may help each other in our journeys that lie ahead.
Have a great week!
The Mom Chronicles: Fall Preview (9/20/10)
The Mom Chronicles: Fall Preview
Welcome back. I am going to forego my usual welcome to just moms as it's been brought to my attention there are some non-mom readers out there and so to you,too I also extend this welcome.
Well, I am pleased to say that this rendition on the Chronicles is going to be a good old fashion one. It seems lately I've been writing about all the fires I have had to put out. Now that many of them are smoldering, I find myself in need of a return to basics. A return to what makes this column a place you want to come each week. Additionally, it's a bit of a fall preview. There are a number of hot topics I am just itching to cover and so I want to enlighten you on a few of them as well.
First though, an update on the kids. I find myself being as busy as a soccer mom these days, only, with out the soccer. Matthew is now in preschool three days a week. He is doing well. Additionally he has started his weekly speech therapy in the cities. While currently we are working with the school district to reassess him for services locally (fingers crossed!) we are still making the ventures northbound. As of late he has been intrugued by my Halloween decorations (Yes, they are up. I am one of those people.) and my baking adventures which have gained me the title of best mom ever. Got that, moms? He says I am the best. I must laugh. For if he only knew what lied within so many of you other moms out there, surely the title would get placed elsewhere! What has got me the title though, is my oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and my apple bars. Mostly the cookies. He says they are better then the bakery. I think he is lying. He does love those visits in the mornings to Emily's. Personally, I think his dad has just gotten to him and is coaxing him in to buttering me up so I continue to make them. I think it's working.
As for Miss Ella, her language is blooming and she is talking up a storm. It's been great fun to hear. Coming out is also some of her terrific two attitudes. You know the ones. The ones of "Mine!" and "I want to do it myself!". Yes indeed, we have a strong minded little girl on our hands but fortuntaly, she's a strong minded little girl who loves to get dressed up so I have gotten to dress her in a whole bunch of fall gettups that are beyond adorable. She is starting back up with the therapy in the cities as well, so the running continues.
As for me I am still in school, just down to one class. I have really needed it for me, and so I continue. I almost quit. As the past weeks got harder and harder, I almost threw in the towel, but I am still here. I will perservere. And so on my journey I continue.
Now that you are all well and updated, let's talk what's coming to the Mom Chronicles in the future. Well, as was the case in the summer, safety is an ongoing topic and there are more safety related topics I will be covering. Strangers is something we are working on in my house. Here's a good story. Matty had decided while playing outside he had to go to the bathroom and didn't want to come all the way in the house. Well, he got busted by some neighbors relieving himself in the front bushes. They tried to get him directed to his home, as he got his pants wet, but he just hid and wouldn't go with them. They thought he was worried he was in trouble. No indeed! When they came to my door and I coaxed him out, he was actually hiding from them as "they were strangers, mom!" No running away or screaming as he had been instructed, but he did hide and refused to come with them, even to his own house door, so for that I am proud. So definitely talking to your kids about strangers.
Other topics will include helping you children through times of significant change or transition, how to help your kids deal with rejection, and my now favorite, how to talk to your kids about where babies come from. It was inevitable. We are to this dreadful topic and we, you and I, will embark on it together. This will be interesting.
This was prompted, again by my son, soon after I miscarried. As I was getting him ready for bed one night, he said, "Mom, did you loose the baby?" To which I replied that yes, as we had talked about I had. To that he replied, "Don't be sad, mom. Jonah (the neighbor boy) said the next time dad is home he can help you get a new baby! Maybe he will bring it in his truck! Maybe dad will grow it in his truck so you don't have to grow it in your belly and then it can ride with him to all the Walmart stores and be nice and warm. Does that sound good mom?" To this I simply offer the cop out, "We'll see." Coward! Coward I tell you! As soon as I heard those words that dad would help me get another baby I thought oh, no. Here we go! Fortunately, he didn't know all about the birds and bees, but he is to an age where the stork won't exactly explain it either. So I will be doing some exploring on the topic and I will share that with you.
In the mean time, I hope you are enjoying these fall days. It's that fabulous time of year for orchards, and apple picking, pumpkin patches and bonfires. If you are looking for a group to go with I did see Community Ed is offering several adventures.
Finally, the Mom Chronicles has a new blog! Check it out. It is now under the Star Gazette webpage under the "Area Voices". I am working this week to load all my past columns to it and hope it will be a great place for you to interact with me and share your ideas, comments and suggestions. I am looking forward to the new page and hope you will take time to check it out.
Until then, have a safe and enjoyable week!
Welcome back. I am going to forego my usual welcome to just moms as it's been brought to my attention there are some non-mom readers out there and so to you,too I also extend this welcome.
Well, I am pleased to say that this rendition on the Chronicles is going to be a good old fashion one. It seems lately I've been writing about all the fires I have had to put out. Now that many of them are smoldering, I find myself in need of a return to basics. A return to what makes this column a place you want to come each week. Additionally, it's a bit of a fall preview. There are a number of hot topics I am just itching to cover and so I want to enlighten you on a few of them as well.
First though, an update on the kids. I find myself being as busy as a soccer mom these days, only, with out the soccer. Matthew is now in preschool three days a week. He is doing well. Additionally he has started his weekly speech therapy in the cities. While currently we are working with the school district to reassess him for services locally (fingers crossed!) we are still making the ventures northbound. As of late he has been intrugued by my Halloween decorations (Yes, they are up. I am one of those people.) and my baking adventures which have gained me the title of best mom ever. Got that, moms? He says I am the best. I must laugh. For if he only knew what lied within so many of you other moms out there, surely the title would get placed elsewhere! What has got me the title though, is my oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and my apple bars. Mostly the cookies. He says they are better then the bakery. I think he is lying. He does love those visits in the mornings to Emily's. Personally, I think his dad has just gotten to him and is coaxing him in to buttering me up so I continue to make them. I think it's working.
As for Miss Ella, her language is blooming and she is talking up a storm. It's been great fun to hear. Coming out is also some of her terrific two attitudes. You know the ones. The ones of "Mine!" and "I want to do it myself!". Yes indeed, we have a strong minded little girl on our hands but fortuntaly, she's a strong minded little girl who loves to get dressed up so I have gotten to dress her in a whole bunch of fall gettups that are beyond adorable. She is starting back up with the therapy in the cities as well, so the running continues.
As for me I am still in school, just down to one class. I have really needed it for me, and so I continue. I almost quit. As the past weeks got harder and harder, I almost threw in the towel, but I am still here. I will perservere. And so on my journey I continue.
Now that you are all well and updated, let's talk what's coming to the Mom Chronicles in the future. Well, as was the case in the summer, safety is an ongoing topic and there are more safety related topics I will be covering. Strangers is something we are working on in my house. Here's a good story. Matty had decided while playing outside he had to go to the bathroom and didn't want to come all the way in the house. Well, he got busted by some neighbors relieving himself in the front bushes. They tried to get him directed to his home, as he got his pants wet, but he just hid and wouldn't go with them. They thought he was worried he was in trouble. No indeed! When they came to my door and I coaxed him out, he was actually hiding from them as "they were strangers, mom!" No running away or screaming as he had been instructed, but he did hide and refused to come with them, even to his own house door, so for that I am proud. So definitely talking to your kids about strangers.
Other topics will include helping you children through times of significant change or transition, how to help your kids deal with rejection, and my now favorite, how to talk to your kids about where babies come from. It was inevitable. We are to this dreadful topic and we, you and I, will embark on it together. This will be interesting.
This was prompted, again by my son, soon after I miscarried. As I was getting him ready for bed one night, he said, "Mom, did you loose the baby?" To which I replied that yes, as we had talked about I had. To that he replied, "Don't be sad, mom. Jonah (the neighbor boy) said the next time dad is home he can help you get a new baby! Maybe he will bring it in his truck! Maybe dad will grow it in his truck so you don't have to grow it in your belly and then it can ride with him to all the Walmart stores and be nice and warm. Does that sound good mom?" To this I simply offer the cop out, "We'll see." Coward! Coward I tell you! As soon as I heard those words that dad would help me get another baby I thought oh, no. Here we go! Fortunately, he didn't know all about the birds and bees, but he is to an age where the stork won't exactly explain it either. So I will be doing some exploring on the topic and I will share that with you.
In the mean time, I hope you are enjoying these fall days. It's that fabulous time of year for orchards, and apple picking, pumpkin patches and bonfires. If you are looking for a group to go with I did see Community Ed is offering several adventures.
Finally, the Mom Chronicles has a new blog! Check it out. It is now under the Star Gazette webpage under the "Area Voices". I am working this week to load all my past columns to it and hope it will be a great place for you to interact with me and share your ideas, comments and suggestions. I am looking forward to the new page and hope you will take time to check it out.
Until then, have a safe and enjoyable week!
The Mom Chronciles: Stop and Smell the Dandelions (9/11/10)
The Mom Chronicles: Stop and Smell the Dandelions
Welcome back, moms! Has it been a week already? I feel like I was just here sharing my latest bout of crapiness in the form of my miscarriage. Perhaps that has been because the week has been such a roller coaster of emotions and events. While things are not really any better off, in fact are even worse on some levels, I am feeling a little better, and so I am thankful for that.
Wait a minute. did I just say I am feeling better when things are getting worse? That hardly makes any sense at all. As we are here now, I am two weeks away from having to move my family into a shelter unless a small miracle occurs, or at least series of necessary events needed to prevent that. This weekend we had to give away my dog, which has been a therapeutic out for me and best friend to a certain four year old in my house, something which brought on only more loss and sobs to a very sad little boy and his mom at a time already full of grief and loss. We had the painful task of choosing a name for our baby we lost (We chose Charley) and continue to go through the process of mourning that loss has brought.
Now I admit, my soul has had many dark, dark moments this week. At one point I was in my doctors office with the only words that could come out being of sincere wishes to just be done with this life. To die. That life was no longer worth it. That I was just..done. White flag. I surrender. All the hurt and issues of the past I have worked so hard to overcome, all the battles recently fought just don't quite seem worth it anymore. Why, I asked, would I want to continue to fight so hard when more pain and suffering are just inevitable?
Well, fortunately I have an amazing doctor. He's the best. I'd give him like a trophy full of bling and flashing lights that say "World's best doctor EVER" if such a thing existed (instead he had to settle for homemade cookies, which I must say isn't exactly settling with that particular recipe!) He knew and cared enough to try to talk some sense in to me , which didn't solve a thing, but gave the heartfelt message of being truly cared for and valued, not to mention a necessity for my kids, and I left having my heart felt squeezed, in a good way.
A couple other things happened this week that left my heart feeling squeezed in a good way. One occured at a garage sale of all places where a dear and thoughtful loyal reader of this column overwhelmed me with support and well wishes and generosity of spirit and made my day. Then there is a member of my church that I have had the privledge of connecting with in the past, but whom I connected with at a deeper level this week. While a bit overloaded with clients in her job, she's made the time to be there for me, help and support me in my quest to find resources for my family, and she's been amazing. She'd of gotten cookies, too, if only our interactions had been in person and not just via email!
And while these have brought great comfort to my aching heart, the greatest boost to my spirit came from my son this week. As you know he recently started preschool. Well, Friday before pick up time the kids were outside playing and doing what kids do. Myself and the other parents anxiously waited as our kids filed back in to their class to get ready to go. Low and behold near the tail end of the line appears my son, and in his hand, a bouquet of dandelions, just for me! When he saw me his eyes lit up and he promptly left his spot in line and and he rushed them over to me exclaiming "Mom! I picked these for YOU!" I squeezed him and told him he made my day. There I stood as he rejoined his classmates, feeling like the luckiest mom in the world.My son loves me so much that while the other kids were rolling down the hill and frolicking around, he noticed the flowers and took the time to pick them for me.Just me! How lucky am I ? And even though they were just dandelions, it was the most beautiful, most heartfelt bouquet I have ever received. My heart overflowed.
And so my moms, while nothing has changed in terms of any positive advancements in my home situation, what did change was that I was given the opportunity to be blessed by my own son in such a way that I truly fell more in love with him then I ever even have been. Additionally my life has been touched by people who value me enough that they have stepped outside of themselves and their lives to touch mine, in some cases with out even knowing me or having ever met me. And while those things change nothing physically, they change a lot soulfully. They have brought some light in to a very dark time in my life and I can only hope and pray that if you are going through times like my family's that you may be blessed in such a way as I.
And so this week, I find myself in the darkest of moments stopping and smelling the dandelions. And let me tell you they smell positively delightful. I may not yet know what form of roof will be over my kids heads in a couple weeks, what my financial status will be, and so many other uncertainties, but by God I feel loved. And for now, that's all a girl can wish for.
Welcome back, moms! Has it been a week already? I feel like I was just here sharing my latest bout of crapiness in the form of my miscarriage. Perhaps that has been because the week has been such a roller coaster of emotions and events. While things are not really any better off, in fact are even worse on some levels, I am feeling a little better, and so I am thankful for that.
Wait a minute. did I just say I am feeling better when things are getting worse? That hardly makes any sense at all. As we are here now, I am two weeks away from having to move my family into a shelter unless a small miracle occurs, or at least series of necessary events needed to prevent that. This weekend we had to give away my dog, which has been a therapeutic out for me and best friend to a certain four year old in my house, something which brought on only more loss and sobs to a very sad little boy and his mom at a time already full of grief and loss. We had the painful task of choosing a name for our baby we lost (We chose Charley) and continue to go through the process of mourning that loss has brought.
Now I admit, my soul has had many dark, dark moments this week. At one point I was in my doctors office with the only words that could come out being of sincere wishes to just be done with this life. To die. That life was no longer worth it. That I was just..done. White flag. I surrender. All the hurt and issues of the past I have worked so hard to overcome, all the battles recently fought just don't quite seem worth it anymore. Why, I asked, would I want to continue to fight so hard when more pain and suffering are just inevitable?
Well, fortunately I have an amazing doctor. He's the best. I'd give him like a trophy full of bling and flashing lights that say "World's best doctor EVER" if such a thing existed (instead he had to settle for homemade cookies, which I must say isn't exactly settling with that particular recipe!) He knew and cared enough to try to talk some sense in to me , which didn't solve a thing, but gave the heartfelt message of being truly cared for and valued, not to mention a necessity for my kids, and I left having my heart felt squeezed, in a good way.
A couple other things happened this week that left my heart feeling squeezed in a good way. One occured at a garage sale of all places where a dear and thoughtful loyal reader of this column overwhelmed me with support and well wishes and generosity of spirit and made my day. Then there is a member of my church that I have had the privledge of connecting with in the past, but whom I connected with at a deeper level this week. While a bit overloaded with clients in her job, she's made the time to be there for me, help and support me in my quest to find resources for my family, and she's been amazing. She'd of gotten cookies, too, if only our interactions had been in person and not just via email!
And while these have brought great comfort to my aching heart, the greatest boost to my spirit came from my son this week. As you know he recently started preschool. Well, Friday before pick up time the kids were outside playing and doing what kids do. Myself and the other parents anxiously waited as our kids filed back in to their class to get ready to go. Low and behold near the tail end of the line appears my son, and in his hand, a bouquet of dandelions, just for me! When he saw me his eyes lit up and he promptly left his spot in line and and he rushed them over to me exclaiming "Mom! I picked these for YOU!" I squeezed him and told him he made my day. There I stood as he rejoined his classmates, feeling like the luckiest mom in the world.My son loves me so much that while the other kids were rolling down the hill and frolicking around, he noticed the flowers and took the time to pick them for me.Just me! How lucky am I ? And even though they were just dandelions, it was the most beautiful, most heartfelt bouquet I have ever received. My heart overflowed.
And so my moms, while nothing has changed in terms of any positive advancements in my home situation, what did change was that I was given the opportunity to be blessed by my own son in such a way that I truly fell more in love with him then I ever even have been. Additionally my life has been touched by people who value me enough that they have stepped outside of themselves and their lives to touch mine, in some cases with out even knowing me or having ever met me. And while those things change nothing physically, they change a lot soulfully. They have brought some light in to a very dark time in my life and I can only hope and pray that if you are going through times like my family's that you may be blessed in such a way as I.
And so this week, I find myself in the darkest of moments stopping and smelling the dandelions. And let me tell you they smell positively delightful. I may not yet know what form of roof will be over my kids heads in a couple weeks, what my financial status will be, and so many other uncertainties, but by God I feel loved. And for now, that's all a girl can wish for.
The Mom Chronciles: Finding Joy (9/3/10)
The Mom Chronicles: Finding Joy
I feel like the the only words to start this column with are the painful "Here we go again". You see my moms, while many of you are here eagerly awaiting the joyous news I promised in last week's column, and I will keep my promise of news, it is not the news I had planned to be sharing.
You see, as many of you were out enjoying the Labor Day weekend, perhaps taking in the fair or a last trip to the cabin, I was home being run over by the freight train of grief and loss that seems to have found me, dug it's claws in to me, and doesn't seem to ever want to let go.
You see, if all went as planned and hoped this week I was going to be announcing the expectancy of another Peterson family member, in the form of another baby. In fact, there was even speculation of there being more then one. And then this week as the days got closer to this column being written, the pain started. Then the spotting and finally cramping. A little persistence got my doctor to check my hormone levels and while the first looked promising, the second was certainly not. Those wonderful pregnancy hormones dropped in half, almost simultaneously as the bleeding and passing of those beautiful baby tissues began to pass. This, on the weekend marking the second anniversary of my last miscarriage two years ago. And so now you can say, then there were two, in heaven that is.
This is so not the column I want to be writing right now, let me tell you. In fact if there were any way to avoid it and make this whole thing disappear I would. However, I made a promise to you and to myself that sharing this news I would, no matter how it turned out.
You see, this column was also to memorialize our first baby we lost, Sam. It would include how deeply she's missed and how it is only after two years that we have finally gotten to this place to be brave enough to try again. Not to replace, but to move on.
Additionally, after I suffered in so much silence during the last miscarriage, I vowed to share this pregnancy early on that I may have people to rejoice with in the times it goes well, and to take comfort in when or if it didn't.
Now a lot could be said of the timing of this event. I admit I was leary to share in light of the horrific situation my family is in. And yet this very personal decision was made between us earlier this summer to try as I have some worsening chronic conditions of my female system that need to be addressed with a long term solution, and if there was going to be an attempt at that long desired number three, it was needing to happen during a small window of opportunity presented to us this summer. Great timing, no. But it's hard to argue with biology and Mother nature.
And so here we are. Many of you may be thinking, well that's just better or as I have already heard "Be thankful for the two you have. Maybe this is God trying to tell you something. Listen to him." Such words are not only not helpful now, in fact are quite hurtful. Instead what has been helpful are some of the simple "I am so sorry for your loss" messages that have been posted on my facebook page. My mom's words of encouragement as she suffered three miscarriages herself. And with that I am so blessed to have the family and friends I do. My folks have been an enormous support through everything these past months and while they more then anyone could have been less then excited for us, did what they continue to do best, be there for us supporting us through everything with the unconditional love, lack of judgment and support that parents should have for their kids, with out any deserving on our part.
And so my moms I promised a joyful column this week. Thus far it has been lacking in just that. And while it is hard to find joy in such a double whammy of loss as this is, I am going to try. I admit I am having a hard time with the whole "this happened for a reason" and "God doesn't give you more then you can handle" messages. While deep down I know these to be true, for now they feel like crap. So finding joy is certainly a stretch. In fact I have gone so far as to be angry at Sam, the first baby that was lost, as she get's this new baby to play with and we don't. Doesn't she have enough friends in heaven?
In fact however, that last statement is the one that holds the joy. I know because of my faith, which I admit is lacking at the moment, that this baby, while not in my loving arms, will be in the loving arms of the only other person I would full heartedly trust to care for my baby in the event I couldn't. The only joy here, is that this baby, while not on this earth, will be surrounded with nothing but beauty and love and care and support that they could only dream of here. By being in heaven it will not have to deal with the selfishness, the pain, the cruelty that walks on our earth. And so in that, I find joy.
I do deeply hope that in time there will be an opportunity for me to share news with you of a new baby that does make it in to my arms. In the mean time, though, I can only ask for your thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time.
You know, It is often easy for people to cast judgment on others in situations as such. Judgments about timing and the like. But a baby is a very personal decision, and in my eyes is a blessing no matter what. Additionally if you aren't there in pain, don't expect to be there in joy. And so my moms as I embark on the weeks ahead that are sure to feel dark and heavy, I hope you will walk with me that in the end, we will find joy.
I feel like the the only words to start this column with are the painful "Here we go again". You see my moms, while many of you are here eagerly awaiting the joyous news I promised in last week's column, and I will keep my promise of news, it is not the news I had planned to be sharing.
You see, as many of you were out enjoying the Labor Day weekend, perhaps taking in the fair or a last trip to the cabin, I was home being run over by the freight train of grief and loss that seems to have found me, dug it's claws in to me, and doesn't seem to ever want to let go.
You see, if all went as planned and hoped this week I was going to be announcing the expectancy of another Peterson family member, in the form of another baby. In fact, there was even speculation of there being more then one. And then this week as the days got closer to this column being written, the pain started. Then the spotting and finally cramping. A little persistence got my doctor to check my hormone levels and while the first looked promising, the second was certainly not. Those wonderful pregnancy hormones dropped in half, almost simultaneously as the bleeding and passing of those beautiful baby tissues began to pass. This, on the weekend marking the second anniversary of my last miscarriage two years ago. And so now you can say, then there were two, in heaven that is.
This is so not the column I want to be writing right now, let me tell you. In fact if there were any way to avoid it and make this whole thing disappear I would. However, I made a promise to you and to myself that sharing this news I would, no matter how it turned out.
You see, this column was also to memorialize our first baby we lost, Sam. It would include how deeply she's missed and how it is only after two years that we have finally gotten to this place to be brave enough to try again. Not to replace, but to move on.
Additionally, after I suffered in so much silence during the last miscarriage, I vowed to share this pregnancy early on that I may have people to rejoice with in the times it goes well, and to take comfort in when or if it didn't.
Now a lot could be said of the timing of this event. I admit I was leary to share in light of the horrific situation my family is in. And yet this very personal decision was made between us earlier this summer to try as I have some worsening chronic conditions of my female system that need to be addressed with a long term solution, and if there was going to be an attempt at that long desired number three, it was needing to happen during a small window of opportunity presented to us this summer. Great timing, no. But it's hard to argue with biology and Mother nature.
And so here we are. Many of you may be thinking, well that's just better or as I have already heard "Be thankful for the two you have. Maybe this is God trying to tell you something. Listen to him." Such words are not only not helpful now, in fact are quite hurtful. Instead what has been helpful are some of the simple "I am so sorry for your loss" messages that have been posted on my facebook page. My mom's words of encouragement as she suffered three miscarriages herself. And with that I am so blessed to have the family and friends I do. My folks have been an enormous support through everything these past months and while they more then anyone could have been less then excited for us, did what they continue to do best, be there for us supporting us through everything with the unconditional love, lack of judgment and support that parents should have for their kids, with out any deserving on our part.
And so my moms I promised a joyful column this week. Thus far it has been lacking in just that. And while it is hard to find joy in such a double whammy of loss as this is, I am going to try. I admit I am having a hard time with the whole "this happened for a reason" and "God doesn't give you more then you can handle" messages. While deep down I know these to be true, for now they feel like crap. So finding joy is certainly a stretch. In fact I have gone so far as to be angry at Sam, the first baby that was lost, as she get's this new baby to play with and we don't. Doesn't she have enough friends in heaven?
In fact however, that last statement is the one that holds the joy. I know because of my faith, which I admit is lacking at the moment, that this baby, while not in my loving arms, will be in the loving arms of the only other person I would full heartedly trust to care for my baby in the event I couldn't. The only joy here, is that this baby, while not on this earth, will be surrounded with nothing but beauty and love and care and support that they could only dream of here. By being in heaven it will not have to deal with the selfishness, the pain, the cruelty that walks on our earth. And so in that, I find joy.
I do deeply hope that in time there will be an opportunity for me to share news with you of a new baby that does make it in to my arms. In the mean time, though, I can only ask for your thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time.
You know, It is often easy for people to cast judgment on others in situations as such. Judgments about timing and the like. But a baby is a very personal decision, and in my eyes is a blessing no matter what. Additionally if you aren't there in pain, don't expect to be there in joy. And so my moms as I embark on the weeks ahead that are sure to feel dark and heavy, I hope you will walk with me that in the end, we will find joy.
The Mom Chronicles: Leaving the Nest (8/30/10)
The Mom Chronicles: Leaving the Nest
Hi, Moms! Well, its finally here. The week we have both looked forward to and dreaded all summer long: the week our kids return to, or in some cases, start school. I have seen a number of postings on Facebook this week in reference to how quiet some people's homes are and of various preparations of getting ready for school.
Well, this tradition has finally fallen upon the Peterson household. That's it, my Matthew is starting school. Granted its PRE-school, but it feels like it could be college! As I drove him past his new school last week I felt myself choking up, the tears welling up in my eyes, and the dread in my gut as I invisioned sending him off on his first day later this week. Granted preparations started a long time ago. We got his new glasses this summer and have been working with him on his language development. I got him a brand new light-up Spider Man backpack (only because I couldn't find any firetruck ones!) and the traditional new socks and underwear. He is stocked up on new clothes for the fall and has been practicing writing his name, which thus far consists of just two "t"s. We've talked about it, read books about it, planned for it. But now that its finally here, I don't know if I am ready!
I am worried for him in that big school. I am worried he will feel overwhelmed or be teased by other kids for his glasses or language or just not fit in somehow. I want him to like school. To be excited for it. Only, I wish I could do it in the safe coccoon of my own home where I can protect him and make sure he doesn't fall victim to the hurts brought on by others. Deep down, though, I know that's not the best thing, for either of us.
So as I prepare to walk him through those doors this Friday there have been a number of things I have done to prepare myself. My favorite of them being picking up the book "The Kissing Hand". For those of you who haven't heard of it and are sending your kids off for the first time- buy it! Check it out at the library! Whatever! It will make you glad you did!
The book is about an old tradition in a Raccoon family. The little boy raccoon in the story is starting school for the first time and to ease his tension and resistence the mother raccoon shares the tradition that her mother and her mother's mother had passed on to their children. She has him open up his left hand (or, paw, I guess) and kisses it and tells him to put it to his cheek. In doing so he can feel the warmth of the kiss and his mom's love run deep with in him. The magic part is that the kiss can't wash off, so even when he washes his hands, or does what little boys do, it can't come off. That way whenever he is lonely or misses his mom or just needs his mom's love, he has it right on the palm of his hand. In addition to being a tear jerker, the story is fabulous.
And so my son and I have partaken in this ritual and he returned the favor by kissing my hand. That way whenever I miss him I, too, can put my hand to my face and feel his love and warmth for me and know he is safe.
It may not be the same as having him here by my side, or me by his side, but it's been a great thing for us.
So what are you and your kids doing as you say your send offs this week? Do you have any traditions that will keep you close? Matthew will undoubtably have to undergo the first day of school pictures (which he doesn't know to dread yet!) and this mom will have a box of Kleenex in the car for after that first drop off, but I intend to be brave for him as he embarks on this new adventure.
No matter what your sendoff traditions are, I hope this first week is a great one for you and your families! Whether you are sending your kids off to preschool, junior high or college, the challenge is the same. We are sending our kids off in to someone else's hands and in doing so putting our faith and trust in those people to be there for our kids, to help and guide our kids, while they are there. This can be very hard, but it also makes our time together that much more valuable.
So my moms, I hope this week's sendoffs have gone well. Enjoy the peace and quiet that has fallen upon your homes, and take some time to care for yourself in this time of transition. It's not just about the kids, it's about you, too.
Finally, on a different note, be sure to tune in next week as the Chronicle Mom has a special announcement to share with all of you. You've been on this journey with me the past year as I have gone through the ups and downs in life and have been so fortunate to have this place to come and share those things with, hopefully helping some of you in the process. And so it seems only fitting that you embark on this next journey with me as well. I look forward to it with joy and fear and anticipation and so many other things. But that's for next week. So stay tuned!
And until next time, have a wonderful week!
Hi, Moms! Well, its finally here. The week we have both looked forward to and dreaded all summer long: the week our kids return to, or in some cases, start school. I have seen a number of postings on Facebook this week in reference to how quiet some people's homes are and of various preparations of getting ready for school.
Well, this tradition has finally fallen upon the Peterson household. That's it, my Matthew is starting school. Granted its PRE-school, but it feels like it could be college! As I drove him past his new school last week I felt myself choking up, the tears welling up in my eyes, and the dread in my gut as I invisioned sending him off on his first day later this week. Granted preparations started a long time ago. We got his new glasses this summer and have been working with him on his language development. I got him a brand new light-up Spider Man backpack (only because I couldn't find any firetruck ones!) and the traditional new socks and underwear. He is stocked up on new clothes for the fall and has been practicing writing his name, which thus far consists of just two "t"s. We've talked about it, read books about it, planned for it. But now that its finally here, I don't know if I am ready!
I am worried for him in that big school. I am worried he will feel overwhelmed or be teased by other kids for his glasses or language or just not fit in somehow. I want him to like school. To be excited for it. Only, I wish I could do it in the safe coccoon of my own home where I can protect him and make sure he doesn't fall victim to the hurts brought on by others. Deep down, though, I know that's not the best thing, for either of us.
So as I prepare to walk him through those doors this Friday there have been a number of things I have done to prepare myself. My favorite of them being picking up the book "The Kissing Hand". For those of you who haven't heard of it and are sending your kids off for the first time- buy it! Check it out at the library! Whatever! It will make you glad you did!
The book is about an old tradition in a Raccoon family. The little boy raccoon in the story is starting school for the first time and to ease his tension and resistence the mother raccoon shares the tradition that her mother and her mother's mother had passed on to their children. She has him open up his left hand (or, paw, I guess) and kisses it and tells him to put it to his cheek. In doing so he can feel the warmth of the kiss and his mom's love run deep with in him. The magic part is that the kiss can't wash off, so even when he washes his hands, or does what little boys do, it can't come off. That way whenever he is lonely or misses his mom or just needs his mom's love, he has it right on the palm of his hand. In addition to being a tear jerker, the story is fabulous.
And so my son and I have partaken in this ritual and he returned the favor by kissing my hand. That way whenever I miss him I, too, can put my hand to my face and feel his love and warmth for me and know he is safe.
It may not be the same as having him here by my side, or me by his side, but it's been a great thing for us.
So what are you and your kids doing as you say your send offs this week? Do you have any traditions that will keep you close? Matthew will undoubtably have to undergo the first day of school pictures (which he doesn't know to dread yet!) and this mom will have a box of Kleenex in the car for after that first drop off, but I intend to be brave for him as he embarks on this new adventure.
No matter what your sendoff traditions are, I hope this first week is a great one for you and your families! Whether you are sending your kids off to preschool, junior high or college, the challenge is the same. We are sending our kids off in to someone else's hands and in doing so putting our faith and trust in those people to be there for our kids, to help and guide our kids, while they are there. This can be very hard, but it also makes our time together that much more valuable.
So my moms, I hope this week's sendoffs have gone well. Enjoy the peace and quiet that has fallen upon your homes, and take some time to care for yourself in this time of transition. It's not just about the kids, it's about you, too.
Finally, on a different note, be sure to tune in next week as the Chronicle Mom has a special announcement to share with all of you. You've been on this journey with me the past year as I have gone through the ups and downs in life and have been so fortunate to have this place to come and share those things with, hopefully helping some of you in the process. And so it seems only fitting that you embark on this next journey with me as well. I look forward to it with joy and fear and anticipation and so many other things. But that's for next week. So stay tuned!
And until next time, have a wonderful week!
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