The Mom Chronicles: A Time to Heal
Fall is finally officially here and with the change of seasons I am reminded of the verse which talks about there being a time and season for everything. I find this season one in which I hope brings waves of healing through the Peterson household. So far, I think we are off to a good start.
With all that went awry the past couple months it was easy to lose focus on the things most important to us. The things, which make our family what it is. These are the things I seek to get back. Fortunately for me, it happens to be my favorite time of the year so perhaps this healing comes just in time that we can heal together under the radiance of the fall colors and coolness in the air.
The thing is stress can have a horrific effect on families. You take what is already a rediculously high divorce rate and add things like financial stress, sick or disabled children and death or loss of life and you see it sky rocket even higher. You look at kids who can normally be resilliant and you put them through significant life changes and one can see regression in skills or knowledge previously learned, acting out and behavior issues, and a handful of other things as well. Now imagine a child who already has developmental challenges as my son and it's been very hard on him. He isn't able to express himself very well and so we are dealing with some of those things I just mentioned magnified by ten. Indeed the past months have been hard on all of us. Certainly my husband and I's already fragile relationship has been challenged. My son struggles to adapt to some of the new changes in his life, and thus far my daughter seems like the most sane of us all!
This said, I am certain we are not the only family who has gone through so much in such a short period of time. We are not the first and certainly will not be the last. There are many families who go through major losses or periods of change and survive just fine. Unfortunately, there are many who don't. We don't intend on being one of them.
So what are we doing to heal? The biggest thing for us is taking time out of the busy to spend time together. Now this can be a challenge as my husband is only in town a few days a month. But I am taking the kids places they enjoy and when he is around, we are going places as a family. We recently went on a fishing adventure. It was great fun. We caught some enormous fish and were able to find escape in a fall oasis that suited us quite well. I have been baking again, and this continues to thrill not just my family, but others who have recieved some of these baked gifts as well. Baking is something I do a decent job at and enjoy, but I don't do much of it when things are as they've been. These days I am making use of the fabulous apples of the season and making things like apple bars and apple crisp. There is nothing that warms the soul more then a hot pan of apple crisp on a brisk day. Additionally baking is something everyone can help with, so it keeps in theme of togetherness.
Perhaps the greatest healing moment came with the addition of a guinea pig whom we named Pumpkin to our family. We had to give up our dog who was a tremendous out and comfort to myself and my kids, and that has been a very big loss for us. Being able to hold and pet an animal can bring a great sense of calm and comfort and so I felt the need to bring that back to my home, so we got a guinea pig. She is the perfect little kid pet. She has a tremendous disposition and lets me and the kids sit and hold her for hours. She is low maintenance, but fits perfectly in our ranks and we adore her. Who knew such a small thing could bring so much good?
And so our journey to heal continues. We certainly have a way to go, but we are off to a great start. We are setting our eyes on the prospect of adding to our family if that is in the greater plan for us, and work to grieve the child we just lost.
And so in the days and weeks ahead my hope is that my family can continue to find a sense of peace and calm and healing that has illuded us for so long.
In the mean time, I will be posting ideas on my blog under the Area Voices section of the paper's website, on ways to help your family heal in times of change and loss. Please feel free to add anything that has worked for you, that we may help each other in our journeys that lie ahead.
Have a great week!
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