Hi, Moms~
Can you believe it's November already?! And not just November, mid November at that! We are already surrounded by holiday commercials and decor and I don't know I am quite ready for this yet! I have seen many posts on Facebook already about putting up holiday decorations and listening to holiday music. I just don't have it in me yet! Usually I am not to slow to get in to the holiday spirit. Normally I am one of those people who are all over the decorating and such well before the turkey lands on the Thanksgiving table. However, this year seems different. I am not entirely certain why. I am not sure if its the warm weather or just everything going on with my kids and family but I am struggling to find that spirit of the season that is starting to stir. I am hoping this doesn't last too long!
There have been a number of struggles as of recent. As I mentioned in my column I had a miscarriage earlier in the fall. It drug on and on and this past weekend was the first weekend since that happened that my body started to do its thing again. I am open to the prospect of having another baby, and we are doing nothing to prevent that, but the thought terrifies me. Another loss? I don't know if I can handle that one! Our current status is not trying but not preventing either. How many of you have been through this? This was the second miscarriage in a row for us and I am terrified of adding to that number. Something I heard recently was something I have heard over and over.. That God doesn' give us more then we can handle. Usually we think of that in terms of giving us bad things. But someone recently posed that to me as it pertains to another child. Is God trying to send me a message? Is he trying to tell me that perhaps I can't handle a third so He isn't going to allow me to have one? How I wish I knew His ways and plans He has for me. The reality is that I don't and so I will try to be patient and forge on.
The other complication in life is with my kids, primarily my son. We are going through the diagnosis process for him. He has been diagnosed with ODD- Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Very, very difficult to deal with. It appears as if he may also have ADHD with Impulsivity. It's been a very trying time. We now have been given an Rx for meds for him. I am very conflicted as to whether or not to medicate him. He is after all, only four and a half. But as it's gotten to be more of a safety issue we are going to do so. Time will tell what the outcome will be.
I hope I can continue to come here more regularly to share these insights. I know I have often lacked in consistency in this area, but with another blog for the paper to keep up, it seems a bit easier these days.
In the mean time,
I hope you all have a fabulous week.
See you here again soon!
Amy
Hi Amy,
ReplyDeleteWe also struggled when our middle son was diagnosed with severe ADHD and given a prescription for meds. I felt shamed by the pharmacist when we finally decided to fill the prescription (after he had split his younger brother's head open with a rubber scraper) because he reminded us that our son was only 3 1/2 at the time. We only gave him 2 tablets before we realized it was not the right med for him, and eventually decided to try once again, a different med that was like a miracle, our son was able to just walk instead of fly down the stairs, and he even commented that it helped him think better. Then I felt guilty for not giving him the med sooner!
Parenting is never easy... Unless they are sleeping and then that brings its' own set of worries.
We went through 13 years of infertility before conceiving our youngest son, after adopting 2 boys. We had given up on the idea of ever conceiving a child, when exactly a year from the last surgery I had, (the dr told me if I had not conceived within that time, it would most likely not happen), we received a call from the adoption agency that a birthmother had selected us to be parents of her child.
While infertility is certainly not the same as having miscarriages, I can certainly relate to it being very painful and can be very challenging to go through umteem tests that take all the fun and spontaneity out of procreation. And it had a lot to do with my depression. And oddly enough, since I had so completely given up the notion of giving birth, when I actually got pregnant, I struggled with the idea of two children spaced so closely together, when in my head, I thought they needed to be spaced further apart, thus another reason to "beat myself up" and had a "mini" depression.
Now, raising our youngest 2, ages 18 & 17, my husband and I often say, what were we thinking??? Although we love all three of them dearly and believe they were all meant to be part of our family, we sometimes wonder if God knew how challenging it would be to raise kids in these times, and perhaps, the struggle we had to go through to become parents somehow, maybe, helped us to become a little more resilient as parents and perhaps strengthened us for the "bumpy ride" of parenthood.
Blessings to you for sharing your struggles. It does help to not feel so alone.