The Mom Chronicles: When Parents- Don't.
Valentines Days and Anniversaries. They are supposed to be the most romantic days for a couple out of the year. For my husband and I, we learned this weekend this is not necessarily always the case. You see, since my husband and I's Anniversary and Valentines Day fall only 3 days apart, the two, if celebrated, are celebrated in a joint venture. As was the case this weekend. My sister super graciously agreed to take my kids for a night so we made plans for a nice dinner and booked a suite equipped with a whirlpool tub and fireplace right in the room at a local establishement. Supper was wonderful. Even a 70 minute was worth it for delicous crab legs and fresh lobster. And just when we thought things were off to a great start...we arrived at our hotel. To our surprise, it was completely booked with visiting boys hockey teams for a hockey tournament. We walked in to be met with the fresh smell of adolescent boys and hockey gear! I guess we should have known what we were in for when we were met by one of the kids' moms at the elevator with, "I hope you guys aren't here for a romantic getaway." Aha. Perhaps we should have turned and ran out. Fast. But we didn't.
Instead of the romantic getaway we were expecting, our night ended up being nothing but a very bad version of home. It was as if a herd of cattle was let loose in the building and no one was trying to round them up. Constant running in the halls, half a dozen boys at a time literally jumping from the top of one floor landing in the stair wells (which happend to be right next to our end-room) to the next. There were games such as tag and knock and run. And the parents? Where were they all night? In the social areas and lounge and hanging out next to the pool, which was also completely over run and crowded with testosterone pumped pre-teen boys.Who was making appearances in the hall instead? My husband. Trying to quiet the ones at least on our floor so God forbid I could at least take a whirlpool tub with out listening to noise even the tub jets couldn't drowned out.
In the morning hotel staff were less then apologetic and couldn't seem to understand why we wanted a refund. Really? I thought? This comes even after one of them admitted that yes, it was very loud in there the night before.
My point in sharing this? I love my kids. I adore them. AND sometimes I need a night away. Our stay ended up feeling like anything but. And why? Because apparently the parents of these guys felt they needed a vacation, too. And while I full heartedly feel the kids were old enough to "know better" in a public place where there are other people being affected by your kids actions, it isn't enough to count on it. No, it was not the hotel's job to parent these guys and tell them to knock it off- it was the parents-however, as an establishment they had a committment to us other customers to step in when that didn't happen.
Now, I admit when others are around it is easy to assume someone else will watch your kid for you or to give your kids some extra slack in hopes they can handle the responsibility. However, there is a time and place and in a public establishment when others can so easily be affected- watch your kids. Know what they are doing. Don't assume others will or that they are making the best choices.
We walked away from the hotel in the morning agreeing with each other that next year, we won't waste our money. We may still ship our kids off for a night, but instead of taking the risk, we are going to spend a quiet night at home together- alone. In the quiet. And the irony is that this whole hotel venture should have been the most romantic part of my weekend, but it wasn't. It was when all four of us were cuddled up taking a nap together the following afternoon spending time together as a family just "being". And perhaps that was a lesson to me in what Valentines Day is really all about. It is not about the flowers, or romance or extravagent things. It is about being with the ones you love the most.
That said, parents- watch your kids. Parent. Don't rely on others to do so for you. For you are not the only ones out there. And a disclaimer to others around that your kids may not be on their best behavior is no substitute or excuse. Teach and reflect respect for others to your kids. Need I say more?
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