This one was never published, as it was written the week of the incident with the student and a gun at Hastings Middle School. When there is "big news"- I get bumped for space. But I thought I would share it with you nonetheless. May as not go to waste!
Amy
The Mom Chronicles: Stepping Back
Hi, moms. Welcome back to the Chronicles. I hope you all had a very blessed and fantastic Easter! I know, I know. It is one of those holidays we love to hate. Love because of the meaning, hate because of the exuberant amounts of sugar and chocolate that seem to find their ways to our kids (and ironically, us!) over the days that are and follow the Easter season.
This year, this mom decided that her kids didn't need any sugar or treats to get them wound up more then they have been lately, so the um, "Easter Bunny", was enlisted on to bring and set up a swingset for my kids instead. Just so happened Toys R Us had one on sale, badda bing badda boom, it ends up in my yard on Easter morning. Now lets just say that as fantastic of an idea as it was, what was not, was the brilliant idea of the "Easter Bunny" to try to put it together in the dark during the middle of the night the night before Easter so the kids would be surprised in the morning. Let's just say doing so took a little joy and quite frankly, pureness out of what is supposed to be a very Holy holiday, in the sense of doing such a task in the dark, with a motion light going out every five minutes and screws and holes that didn't line up... well, let's just say it was hard on the morale, harder on what is normally not such a colorful vocabularly, and relationship between the Easter Bunny and its spouse. To summarize, the swingset got up, the kids love it, but next year the Easter Bunny will be sticking to the chocolate. I'm willing to take my chances!
Needless to say, the Peterson crew stuck close to home this holiday weekend, and that was ok by me. Seems as if we have done nothing but run lately. Isn't that the truth? Seems like spring comes and all heck wants to break loose! When all we want to do is sit and soak up the warm spring sun rays and smell our newly bloomed flowers, instead we end up having to run here, there and everywhere in the form of holidays, birthday parties, sporting events or kids activities, weddings, school clinicals, and the list goes on. I dream of days I am able to just stay home and relax, but it never fails, they are always replaced by appointments, bringing Ella to physical therapy, bringing myself to therapy, helping out with this or that. And while it comes with the territory, I must say this mom is getting a little burnt out!
The move was a biggy for us. Now in addition to all of these other things, we have adjustment in to a new home, unpacking- still!, yard work, and so on. There is the continued potty training and training period of the dog. Establishment of new routines for the kids, and so on.
So what is this mom doing to survive? Stepping back, that's what. I am learning to accept that I can't do it all. That my family and personal sanity are more important to me then some of the demands of others, and so we are talking about weighing demands against priorities. About cutting things out. About not going to every extended family gathering or presence at an event that is requested of us. Instead, we are slowing things down. Opening up the windows. Placing random bouquets of fresh flowers around the house, that will have to do until the soil can become their permanent home. Instead of spending every evening unpacking or cleaning, I am taking the kids to the park, or McDonalds play place, or any other place that we can go where the kids can just be kids and I, mom, can have a moment of peace to breath.
I learned a very tough lesson from my son this past weekend. My son found a picture of me in a rare form, and he laughed. He said, "Mom! You are smiling!" and started laughing. And it was then that I realized how rare of an occurance this has been lately. So I asked him, glutton for punishment that I am, "Matty- how does mommy usually look?" and he gave me a look with a frown. Ouch. And then there was this weekend. My son yelled at my husband and my husband told him that it wasn't ok to yell at him in his face, to which my son replied, "But MOM yells at me in MY face!" Ouch again.
And so while hurt, I felt somewhat validated. While others have attempted to make me feel guilty for stepping back and focusing on my family, I was completely validated at that moment that it's what I really am needing to be doing.
And so, Chronicle Moms, as you embark on these next weeks of spring perhaps yourselves feeling overwhelmed, overscheduled, and under-familied, all while in that post-chocolate comatose state, I encourage you to step back. To look at what is most important to you and yours and decide if you are living the life, being the mom you intended to be. If not, give yourself permission to simplify things. To slow things down. To lessen your expections of yourself and not feel obligated to meet the demads of others. For you and your family are most important. At least that is what I have learned this past holiday weekend. That, and if a product review says "difficult and time consuming to construct".... well, perhaps it's worth thinking twice about! Have a great week!
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