Feb 7th "The Mom Chronicles:Who is YOUR Valentine?!"

The Mom Chronicles: Who is YOUR Valentine?


Dare I say you read this on what will be the trail end of another white few days in MN? And so winter continues. Fortunately, this week we have a different color to focus on besides just the white. Red. On the heels of a red theme for heart awareness (have you seen the new Diet Coke cans? I love them!) comes a red theme for well, something different.Valentines Day.

Now, from many who are not partnered or married I already hear the moans and groans. Seems like for those, of who I was one of for many of years, Valentines Day is a day of just surviving. Of avoiding the hearts and lovey dovey stuff and sitting on the couch with chocolate and ice cream and hibernating: Valentines Day- Stinks. Then there are those of us who have some one in our life. For us the day is quite contrary. For helpless romantics like myself, we have our hopes set high on getting flowers or chocolate or jewelry- oh, jewelry. Diamonds perhaps? I would settle for a Ruby. Unfortunately, many of us find ourselves in the very same spot as those who boycotted the holiday all together the day after, when our loved one didn't come through with the flowers and chocolate and bling and we mope. Maybe next year.

Well, moms. I am here to tell you Valentines Day is about a lot more then whether we have someone at our sides or not. And I guarantee by the end of this column, you too, may appreciate the fact that all of us have a "Valentine" in someone.

Exhibit one. Our kids. We all help them elaborately decorate their Valentines Day boxes and fill out cards for each member in their class or day care. May I ask you- are our kids partnered or in love with all of them? No! Of course not! Rather, in them- those kids they so carefully pick out their Valentines Day cards for, they have Valentines of all sorts. There is the one for the kid who was nice to them on the playground. One for the friend who shares her lunch when mom forgets to send one. There is the Valentine for the kid on the bus who DIDN'T threaten to give your kid a swirly, and another for the boy who gave your daughter her first "kiss" on the playground. Finally, there is the special one, the one larger then all the rest, for the teacher who was there through it all, and does their best to make every day feel like Valentines Day.

Yes, moms. Valentines Day is for more then a person who may or may not be at your side. It is not a day just for love and gush and goo. Rather, it is a day to appreciate. To give a playful thanks. To express an appreciation and gratitude that may go unstated the rest of the year.

For me, my husband will be a Valentine. We celebrate our fourth anniversary this week. It's been a very rocky four years, but we are still here. There are the Valentines in my children, who delight (and sometimes not delight!) me through out my days. There is the Valentine in my doctor has been a life line and joy and has helped me find new life. There is the Valentine in my grandmother whose bones are starting to fracture from her cancer but who calls anyways to see how I am doing and how my first exam went. There is the Valentine in a couple friends I met while hospitalized this fall who are extraordinary women and whom brave this adventure of life with me through laughs and support. There is the Valentine in Hastings Family Service who has been there for my family this winter when we had nothing. There is the Valentine in this paper for giving me this space to reflect each week (though I hardly ever meet Chad's word limit request). There is the Valentine in the YMCA for granting me a scholarship to work out there and take care of myself that I may become my best self. There is the Valentine in my professor at Inver Hills College for giving me a point back I missed on my test due to a poorly written question- which gave me my B grade I so wanted. And so the list goes on.

So you see, moms. While your kids are out celebrating this day that could really be looked at as all Hallmark and not much else, make it something else. Take the time yourself to think of who makes a difference in your life. To those... who make you feel loved and special or who have been there for you. You see, a Valentine is not just a person you go to sleep next to each night- it's about all the people you encounter in your day in the waking hours that make a difference to you that are what this day is about. So before you throw your feet up in that tradition of boycott and chocolate eating, take a moment to fill out a Valentine for someone that's made you feel a little "warm" inside. I know I will be.