The Mom Chronicles: Fall Preview
Welcome back. I am going to forego my usual welcome to just moms as it's been brought to my attention there are some non-mom readers out there and so to you,too I also extend this welcome.
Well, I am pleased to say that this rendition on the Chronicles is going to be a good old fashion one. It seems lately I've been writing about all the fires I have had to put out. Now that many of them are smoldering, I find myself in need of a return to basics. A return to what makes this column a place you want to come each week. Additionally, it's a bit of a fall preview. There are a number of hot topics I am just itching to cover and so I want to enlighten you on a few of them as well.
First though, an update on the kids. I find myself being as busy as a soccer mom these days, only, with out the soccer. Matthew is now in preschool three days a week. He is doing well. Additionally he has started his weekly speech therapy in the cities. While currently we are working with the school district to reassess him for services locally (fingers crossed!) we are still making the ventures northbound. As of late he has been intrugued by my Halloween decorations (Yes, they are up. I am one of those people.) and my baking adventures which have gained me the title of best mom ever. Got that, moms? He says I am the best. I must laugh. For if he only knew what lied within so many of you other moms out there, surely the title would get placed elsewhere! What has got me the title though, is my oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and my apple bars. Mostly the cookies. He says they are better then the bakery. I think he is lying. He does love those visits in the mornings to Emily's. Personally, I think his dad has just gotten to him and is coaxing him in to buttering me up so I continue to make them. I think it's working.
As for Miss Ella, her language is blooming and she is talking up a storm. It's been great fun to hear. Coming out is also some of her terrific two attitudes. You know the ones. The ones of "Mine!" and "I want to do it myself!". Yes indeed, we have a strong minded little girl on our hands but fortuntaly, she's a strong minded little girl who loves to get dressed up so I have gotten to dress her in a whole bunch of fall gettups that are beyond adorable. She is starting back up with the therapy in the cities as well, so the running continues.
As for me I am still in school, just down to one class. I have really needed it for me, and so I continue. I almost quit. As the past weeks got harder and harder, I almost threw in the towel, but I am still here. I will perservere. And so on my journey I continue.
Now that you are all well and updated, let's talk what's coming to the Mom Chronicles in the future. Well, as was the case in the summer, safety is an ongoing topic and there are more safety related topics I will be covering. Strangers is something we are working on in my house. Here's a good story. Matty had decided while playing outside he had to go to the bathroom and didn't want to come all the way in the house. Well, he got busted by some neighbors relieving himself in the front bushes. They tried to get him directed to his home, as he got his pants wet, but he just hid and wouldn't go with them. They thought he was worried he was in trouble. No indeed! When they came to my door and I coaxed him out, he was actually hiding from them as "they were strangers, mom!" No running away or screaming as he had been instructed, but he did hide and refused to come with them, even to his own house door, so for that I am proud. So definitely talking to your kids about strangers.
Other topics will include helping you children through times of significant change or transition, how to help your kids deal with rejection, and my now favorite, how to talk to your kids about where babies come from. It was inevitable. We are to this dreadful topic and we, you and I, will embark on it together. This will be interesting.
This was prompted, again by my son, soon after I miscarried. As I was getting him ready for bed one night, he said, "Mom, did you loose the baby?" To which I replied that yes, as we had talked about I had. To that he replied, "Don't be sad, mom. Jonah (the neighbor boy) said the next time dad is home he can help you get a new baby! Maybe he will bring it in his truck! Maybe dad will grow it in his truck so you don't have to grow it in your belly and then it can ride with him to all the Walmart stores and be nice and warm. Does that sound good mom?" To this I simply offer the cop out, "We'll see." Coward! Coward I tell you! As soon as I heard those words that dad would help me get another baby I thought oh, no. Here we go! Fortunately, he didn't know all about the birds and bees, but he is to an age where the stork won't exactly explain it either. So I will be doing some exploring on the topic and I will share that with you.
In the mean time, I hope you are enjoying these fall days. It's that fabulous time of year for orchards, and apple picking, pumpkin patches and bonfires. If you are looking for a group to go with I did see Community Ed is offering several adventures.
Finally, the Mom Chronicles has a new blog! Check it out. It is now under the Star Gazette webpage under the "Area Voices". I am working this week to load all my past columns to it and hope it will be a great place for you to interact with me and share your ideas, comments and suggestions. I am looking forward to the new page and hope you will take time to check it out.
Until then, have a safe and enjoyable week!
Monday, October 18, 2010
The Mom Chronciles: Stop and Smell the Dandelions (9/11/10)
The Mom Chronicles: Stop and Smell the Dandelions
Welcome back, moms! Has it been a week already? I feel like I was just here sharing my latest bout of crapiness in the form of my miscarriage. Perhaps that has been because the week has been such a roller coaster of emotions and events. While things are not really any better off, in fact are even worse on some levels, I am feeling a little better, and so I am thankful for that.
Wait a minute. did I just say I am feeling better when things are getting worse? That hardly makes any sense at all. As we are here now, I am two weeks away from having to move my family into a shelter unless a small miracle occurs, or at least series of necessary events needed to prevent that. This weekend we had to give away my dog, which has been a therapeutic out for me and best friend to a certain four year old in my house, something which brought on only more loss and sobs to a very sad little boy and his mom at a time already full of grief and loss. We had the painful task of choosing a name for our baby we lost (We chose Charley) and continue to go through the process of mourning that loss has brought.
Now I admit, my soul has had many dark, dark moments this week. At one point I was in my doctors office with the only words that could come out being of sincere wishes to just be done with this life. To die. That life was no longer worth it. That I was just..done. White flag. I surrender. All the hurt and issues of the past I have worked so hard to overcome, all the battles recently fought just don't quite seem worth it anymore. Why, I asked, would I want to continue to fight so hard when more pain and suffering are just inevitable?
Well, fortunately I have an amazing doctor. He's the best. I'd give him like a trophy full of bling and flashing lights that say "World's best doctor EVER" if such a thing existed (instead he had to settle for homemade cookies, which I must say isn't exactly settling with that particular recipe!) He knew and cared enough to try to talk some sense in to me , which didn't solve a thing, but gave the heartfelt message of being truly cared for and valued, not to mention a necessity for my kids, and I left having my heart felt squeezed, in a good way.
A couple other things happened this week that left my heart feeling squeezed in a good way. One occured at a garage sale of all places where a dear and thoughtful loyal reader of this column overwhelmed me with support and well wishes and generosity of spirit and made my day. Then there is a member of my church that I have had the privledge of connecting with in the past, but whom I connected with at a deeper level this week. While a bit overloaded with clients in her job, she's made the time to be there for me, help and support me in my quest to find resources for my family, and she's been amazing. She'd of gotten cookies, too, if only our interactions had been in person and not just via email!
And while these have brought great comfort to my aching heart, the greatest boost to my spirit came from my son this week. As you know he recently started preschool. Well, Friday before pick up time the kids were outside playing and doing what kids do. Myself and the other parents anxiously waited as our kids filed back in to their class to get ready to go. Low and behold near the tail end of the line appears my son, and in his hand, a bouquet of dandelions, just for me! When he saw me his eyes lit up and he promptly left his spot in line and and he rushed them over to me exclaiming "Mom! I picked these for YOU!" I squeezed him and told him he made my day. There I stood as he rejoined his classmates, feeling like the luckiest mom in the world.My son loves me so much that while the other kids were rolling down the hill and frolicking around, he noticed the flowers and took the time to pick them for me.Just me! How lucky am I ? And even though they were just dandelions, it was the most beautiful, most heartfelt bouquet I have ever received. My heart overflowed.
And so my moms, while nothing has changed in terms of any positive advancements in my home situation, what did change was that I was given the opportunity to be blessed by my own son in such a way that I truly fell more in love with him then I ever even have been. Additionally my life has been touched by people who value me enough that they have stepped outside of themselves and their lives to touch mine, in some cases with out even knowing me or having ever met me. And while those things change nothing physically, they change a lot soulfully. They have brought some light in to a very dark time in my life and I can only hope and pray that if you are going through times like my family's that you may be blessed in such a way as I.
And so this week, I find myself in the darkest of moments stopping and smelling the dandelions. And let me tell you they smell positively delightful. I may not yet know what form of roof will be over my kids heads in a couple weeks, what my financial status will be, and so many other uncertainties, but by God I feel loved. And for now, that's all a girl can wish for.
Welcome back, moms! Has it been a week already? I feel like I was just here sharing my latest bout of crapiness in the form of my miscarriage. Perhaps that has been because the week has been such a roller coaster of emotions and events. While things are not really any better off, in fact are even worse on some levels, I am feeling a little better, and so I am thankful for that.
Wait a minute. did I just say I am feeling better when things are getting worse? That hardly makes any sense at all. As we are here now, I am two weeks away from having to move my family into a shelter unless a small miracle occurs, or at least series of necessary events needed to prevent that. This weekend we had to give away my dog, which has been a therapeutic out for me and best friend to a certain four year old in my house, something which brought on only more loss and sobs to a very sad little boy and his mom at a time already full of grief and loss. We had the painful task of choosing a name for our baby we lost (We chose Charley) and continue to go through the process of mourning that loss has brought.
Now I admit, my soul has had many dark, dark moments this week. At one point I was in my doctors office with the only words that could come out being of sincere wishes to just be done with this life. To die. That life was no longer worth it. That I was just..done. White flag. I surrender. All the hurt and issues of the past I have worked so hard to overcome, all the battles recently fought just don't quite seem worth it anymore. Why, I asked, would I want to continue to fight so hard when more pain and suffering are just inevitable?
Well, fortunately I have an amazing doctor. He's the best. I'd give him like a trophy full of bling and flashing lights that say "World's best doctor EVER" if such a thing existed (instead he had to settle for homemade cookies, which I must say isn't exactly settling with that particular recipe!) He knew and cared enough to try to talk some sense in to me , which didn't solve a thing, but gave the heartfelt message of being truly cared for and valued, not to mention a necessity for my kids, and I left having my heart felt squeezed, in a good way.
A couple other things happened this week that left my heart feeling squeezed in a good way. One occured at a garage sale of all places where a dear and thoughtful loyal reader of this column overwhelmed me with support and well wishes and generosity of spirit and made my day. Then there is a member of my church that I have had the privledge of connecting with in the past, but whom I connected with at a deeper level this week. While a bit overloaded with clients in her job, she's made the time to be there for me, help and support me in my quest to find resources for my family, and she's been amazing. She'd of gotten cookies, too, if only our interactions had been in person and not just via email!
And while these have brought great comfort to my aching heart, the greatest boost to my spirit came from my son this week. As you know he recently started preschool. Well, Friday before pick up time the kids were outside playing and doing what kids do. Myself and the other parents anxiously waited as our kids filed back in to their class to get ready to go. Low and behold near the tail end of the line appears my son, and in his hand, a bouquet of dandelions, just for me! When he saw me his eyes lit up and he promptly left his spot in line and and he rushed them over to me exclaiming "Mom! I picked these for YOU!" I squeezed him and told him he made my day. There I stood as he rejoined his classmates, feeling like the luckiest mom in the world.My son loves me so much that while the other kids were rolling down the hill and frolicking around, he noticed the flowers and took the time to pick them for me.Just me! How lucky am I ? And even though they were just dandelions, it was the most beautiful, most heartfelt bouquet I have ever received. My heart overflowed.
And so my moms, while nothing has changed in terms of any positive advancements in my home situation, what did change was that I was given the opportunity to be blessed by my own son in such a way that I truly fell more in love with him then I ever even have been. Additionally my life has been touched by people who value me enough that they have stepped outside of themselves and their lives to touch mine, in some cases with out even knowing me or having ever met me. And while those things change nothing physically, they change a lot soulfully. They have brought some light in to a very dark time in my life and I can only hope and pray that if you are going through times like my family's that you may be blessed in such a way as I.
And so this week, I find myself in the darkest of moments stopping and smelling the dandelions. And let me tell you they smell positively delightful. I may not yet know what form of roof will be over my kids heads in a couple weeks, what my financial status will be, and so many other uncertainties, but by God I feel loved. And for now, that's all a girl can wish for.
The Mom Chronciles: Finding Joy (9/3/10)
The Mom Chronicles: Finding Joy
I feel like the the only words to start this column with are the painful "Here we go again". You see my moms, while many of you are here eagerly awaiting the joyous news I promised in last week's column, and I will keep my promise of news, it is not the news I had planned to be sharing.
You see, as many of you were out enjoying the Labor Day weekend, perhaps taking in the fair or a last trip to the cabin, I was home being run over by the freight train of grief and loss that seems to have found me, dug it's claws in to me, and doesn't seem to ever want to let go.
You see, if all went as planned and hoped this week I was going to be announcing the expectancy of another Peterson family member, in the form of another baby. In fact, there was even speculation of there being more then one. And then this week as the days got closer to this column being written, the pain started. Then the spotting and finally cramping. A little persistence got my doctor to check my hormone levels and while the first looked promising, the second was certainly not. Those wonderful pregnancy hormones dropped in half, almost simultaneously as the bleeding and passing of those beautiful baby tissues began to pass. This, on the weekend marking the second anniversary of my last miscarriage two years ago. And so now you can say, then there were two, in heaven that is.
This is so not the column I want to be writing right now, let me tell you. In fact if there were any way to avoid it and make this whole thing disappear I would. However, I made a promise to you and to myself that sharing this news I would, no matter how it turned out.
You see, this column was also to memorialize our first baby we lost, Sam. It would include how deeply she's missed and how it is only after two years that we have finally gotten to this place to be brave enough to try again. Not to replace, but to move on.
Additionally, after I suffered in so much silence during the last miscarriage, I vowed to share this pregnancy early on that I may have people to rejoice with in the times it goes well, and to take comfort in when or if it didn't.
Now a lot could be said of the timing of this event. I admit I was leary to share in light of the horrific situation my family is in. And yet this very personal decision was made between us earlier this summer to try as I have some worsening chronic conditions of my female system that need to be addressed with a long term solution, and if there was going to be an attempt at that long desired number three, it was needing to happen during a small window of opportunity presented to us this summer. Great timing, no. But it's hard to argue with biology and Mother nature.
And so here we are. Many of you may be thinking, well that's just better or as I have already heard "Be thankful for the two you have. Maybe this is God trying to tell you something. Listen to him." Such words are not only not helpful now, in fact are quite hurtful. Instead what has been helpful are some of the simple "I am so sorry for your loss" messages that have been posted on my facebook page. My mom's words of encouragement as she suffered three miscarriages herself. And with that I am so blessed to have the family and friends I do. My folks have been an enormous support through everything these past months and while they more then anyone could have been less then excited for us, did what they continue to do best, be there for us supporting us through everything with the unconditional love, lack of judgment and support that parents should have for their kids, with out any deserving on our part.
And so my moms I promised a joyful column this week. Thus far it has been lacking in just that. And while it is hard to find joy in such a double whammy of loss as this is, I am going to try. I admit I am having a hard time with the whole "this happened for a reason" and "God doesn't give you more then you can handle" messages. While deep down I know these to be true, for now they feel like crap. So finding joy is certainly a stretch. In fact I have gone so far as to be angry at Sam, the first baby that was lost, as she get's this new baby to play with and we don't. Doesn't she have enough friends in heaven?
In fact however, that last statement is the one that holds the joy. I know because of my faith, which I admit is lacking at the moment, that this baby, while not in my loving arms, will be in the loving arms of the only other person I would full heartedly trust to care for my baby in the event I couldn't. The only joy here, is that this baby, while not on this earth, will be surrounded with nothing but beauty and love and care and support that they could only dream of here. By being in heaven it will not have to deal with the selfishness, the pain, the cruelty that walks on our earth. And so in that, I find joy.
I do deeply hope that in time there will be an opportunity for me to share news with you of a new baby that does make it in to my arms. In the mean time, though, I can only ask for your thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time.
You know, It is often easy for people to cast judgment on others in situations as such. Judgments about timing and the like. But a baby is a very personal decision, and in my eyes is a blessing no matter what. Additionally if you aren't there in pain, don't expect to be there in joy. And so my moms as I embark on the weeks ahead that are sure to feel dark and heavy, I hope you will walk with me that in the end, we will find joy.
I feel like the the only words to start this column with are the painful "Here we go again". You see my moms, while many of you are here eagerly awaiting the joyous news I promised in last week's column, and I will keep my promise of news, it is not the news I had planned to be sharing.
You see, as many of you were out enjoying the Labor Day weekend, perhaps taking in the fair or a last trip to the cabin, I was home being run over by the freight train of grief and loss that seems to have found me, dug it's claws in to me, and doesn't seem to ever want to let go.
You see, if all went as planned and hoped this week I was going to be announcing the expectancy of another Peterson family member, in the form of another baby. In fact, there was even speculation of there being more then one. And then this week as the days got closer to this column being written, the pain started. Then the spotting and finally cramping. A little persistence got my doctor to check my hormone levels and while the first looked promising, the second was certainly not. Those wonderful pregnancy hormones dropped in half, almost simultaneously as the bleeding and passing of those beautiful baby tissues began to pass. This, on the weekend marking the second anniversary of my last miscarriage two years ago. And so now you can say, then there were two, in heaven that is.
This is so not the column I want to be writing right now, let me tell you. In fact if there were any way to avoid it and make this whole thing disappear I would. However, I made a promise to you and to myself that sharing this news I would, no matter how it turned out.
You see, this column was also to memorialize our first baby we lost, Sam. It would include how deeply she's missed and how it is only after two years that we have finally gotten to this place to be brave enough to try again. Not to replace, but to move on.
Additionally, after I suffered in so much silence during the last miscarriage, I vowed to share this pregnancy early on that I may have people to rejoice with in the times it goes well, and to take comfort in when or if it didn't.
Now a lot could be said of the timing of this event. I admit I was leary to share in light of the horrific situation my family is in. And yet this very personal decision was made between us earlier this summer to try as I have some worsening chronic conditions of my female system that need to be addressed with a long term solution, and if there was going to be an attempt at that long desired number three, it was needing to happen during a small window of opportunity presented to us this summer. Great timing, no. But it's hard to argue with biology and Mother nature.
And so here we are. Many of you may be thinking, well that's just better or as I have already heard "Be thankful for the two you have. Maybe this is God trying to tell you something. Listen to him." Such words are not only not helpful now, in fact are quite hurtful. Instead what has been helpful are some of the simple "I am so sorry for your loss" messages that have been posted on my facebook page. My mom's words of encouragement as she suffered three miscarriages herself. And with that I am so blessed to have the family and friends I do. My folks have been an enormous support through everything these past months and while they more then anyone could have been less then excited for us, did what they continue to do best, be there for us supporting us through everything with the unconditional love, lack of judgment and support that parents should have for their kids, with out any deserving on our part.
And so my moms I promised a joyful column this week. Thus far it has been lacking in just that. And while it is hard to find joy in such a double whammy of loss as this is, I am going to try. I admit I am having a hard time with the whole "this happened for a reason" and "God doesn't give you more then you can handle" messages. While deep down I know these to be true, for now they feel like crap. So finding joy is certainly a stretch. In fact I have gone so far as to be angry at Sam, the first baby that was lost, as she get's this new baby to play with and we don't. Doesn't she have enough friends in heaven?
In fact however, that last statement is the one that holds the joy. I know because of my faith, which I admit is lacking at the moment, that this baby, while not in my loving arms, will be in the loving arms of the only other person I would full heartedly trust to care for my baby in the event I couldn't. The only joy here, is that this baby, while not on this earth, will be surrounded with nothing but beauty and love and care and support that they could only dream of here. By being in heaven it will not have to deal with the selfishness, the pain, the cruelty that walks on our earth. And so in that, I find joy.
I do deeply hope that in time there will be an opportunity for me to share news with you of a new baby that does make it in to my arms. In the mean time, though, I can only ask for your thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time.
You know, It is often easy for people to cast judgment on others in situations as such. Judgments about timing and the like. But a baby is a very personal decision, and in my eyes is a blessing no matter what. Additionally if you aren't there in pain, don't expect to be there in joy. And so my moms as I embark on the weeks ahead that are sure to feel dark and heavy, I hope you will walk with me that in the end, we will find joy.
The Mom Chronicles: Leaving the Nest (8/30/10)
The Mom Chronicles: Leaving the Nest
Hi, Moms! Well, its finally here. The week we have both looked forward to and dreaded all summer long: the week our kids return to, or in some cases, start school. I have seen a number of postings on Facebook this week in reference to how quiet some people's homes are and of various preparations of getting ready for school.
Well, this tradition has finally fallen upon the Peterson household. That's it, my Matthew is starting school. Granted its PRE-school, but it feels like it could be college! As I drove him past his new school last week I felt myself choking up, the tears welling up in my eyes, and the dread in my gut as I invisioned sending him off on his first day later this week. Granted preparations started a long time ago. We got his new glasses this summer and have been working with him on his language development. I got him a brand new light-up Spider Man backpack (only because I couldn't find any firetruck ones!) and the traditional new socks and underwear. He is stocked up on new clothes for the fall and has been practicing writing his name, which thus far consists of just two "t"s. We've talked about it, read books about it, planned for it. But now that its finally here, I don't know if I am ready!
I am worried for him in that big school. I am worried he will feel overwhelmed or be teased by other kids for his glasses or language or just not fit in somehow. I want him to like school. To be excited for it. Only, I wish I could do it in the safe coccoon of my own home where I can protect him and make sure he doesn't fall victim to the hurts brought on by others. Deep down, though, I know that's not the best thing, for either of us.
So as I prepare to walk him through those doors this Friday there have been a number of things I have done to prepare myself. My favorite of them being picking up the book "The Kissing Hand". For those of you who haven't heard of it and are sending your kids off for the first time- buy it! Check it out at the library! Whatever! It will make you glad you did!
The book is about an old tradition in a Raccoon family. The little boy raccoon in the story is starting school for the first time and to ease his tension and resistence the mother raccoon shares the tradition that her mother and her mother's mother had passed on to their children. She has him open up his left hand (or, paw, I guess) and kisses it and tells him to put it to his cheek. In doing so he can feel the warmth of the kiss and his mom's love run deep with in him. The magic part is that the kiss can't wash off, so even when he washes his hands, or does what little boys do, it can't come off. That way whenever he is lonely or misses his mom or just needs his mom's love, he has it right on the palm of his hand. In addition to being a tear jerker, the story is fabulous.
And so my son and I have partaken in this ritual and he returned the favor by kissing my hand. That way whenever I miss him I, too, can put my hand to my face and feel his love and warmth for me and know he is safe.
It may not be the same as having him here by my side, or me by his side, but it's been a great thing for us.
So what are you and your kids doing as you say your send offs this week? Do you have any traditions that will keep you close? Matthew will undoubtably have to undergo the first day of school pictures (which he doesn't know to dread yet!) and this mom will have a box of Kleenex in the car for after that first drop off, but I intend to be brave for him as he embarks on this new adventure.
No matter what your sendoff traditions are, I hope this first week is a great one for you and your families! Whether you are sending your kids off to preschool, junior high or college, the challenge is the same. We are sending our kids off in to someone else's hands and in doing so putting our faith and trust in those people to be there for our kids, to help and guide our kids, while they are there. This can be very hard, but it also makes our time together that much more valuable.
So my moms, I hope this week's sendoffs have gone well. Enjoy the peace and quiet that has fallen upon your homes, and take some time to care for yourself in this time of transition. It's not just about the kids, it's about you, too.
Finally, on a different note, be sure to tune in next week as the Chronicle Mom has a special announcement to share with all of you. You've been on this journey with me the past year as I have gone through the ups and downs in life and have been so fortunate to have this place to come and share those things with, hopefully helping some of you in the process. And so it seems only fitting that you embark on this next journey with me as well. I look forward to it with joy and fear and anticipation and so many other things. But that's for next week. So stay tuned!
And until next time, have a wonderful week!
Hi, Moms! Well, its finally here. The week we have both looked forward to and dreaded all summer long: the week our kids return to, or in some cases, start school. I have seen a number of postings on Facebook this week in reference to how quiet some people's homes are and of various preparations of getting ready for school.
Well, this tradition has finally fallen upon the Peterson household. That's it, my Matthew is starting school. Granted its PRE-school, but it feels like it could be college! As I drove him past his new school last week I felt myself choking up, the tears welling up in my eyes, and the dread in my gut as I invisioned sending him off on his first day later this week. Granted preparations started a long time ago. We got his new glasses this summer and have been working with him on his language development. I got him a brand new light-up Spider Man backpack (only because I couldn't find any firetruck ones!) and the traditional new socks and underwear. He is stocked up on new clothes for the fall and has been practicing writing his name, which thus far consists of just two "t"s. We've talked about it, read books about it, planned for it. But now that its finally here, I don't know if I am ready!
I am worried for him in that big school. I am worried he will feel overwhelmed or be teased by other kids for his glasses or language or just not fit in somehow. I want him to like school. To be excited for it. Only, I wish I could do it in the safe coccoon of my own home where I can protect him and make sure he doesn't fall victim to the hurts brought on by others. Deep down, though, I know that's not the best thing, for either of us.
So as I prepare to walk him through those doors this Friday there have been a number of things I have done to prepare myself. My favorite of them being picking up the book "The Kissing Hand". For those of you who haven't heard of it and are sending your kids off for the first time- buy it! Check it out at the library! Whatever! It will make you glad you did!
The book is about an old tradition in a Raccoon family. The little boy raccoon in the story is starting school for the first time and to ease his tension and resistence the mother raccoon shares the tradition that her mother and her mother's mother had passed on to their children. She has him open up his left hand (or, paw, I guess) and kisses it and tells him to put it to his cheek. In doing so he can feel the warmth of the kiss and his mom's love run deep with in him. The magic part is that the kiss can't wash off, so even when he washes his hands, or does what little boys do, it can't come off. That way whenever he is lonely or misses his mom or just needs his mom's love, he has it right on the palm of his hand. In addition to being a tear jerker, the story is fabulous.
And so my son and I have partaken in this ritual and he returned the favor by kissing my hand. That way whenever I miss him I, too, can put my hand to my face and feel his love and warmth for me and know he is safe.
It may not be the same as having him here by my side, or me by his side, but it's been a great thing for us.
So what are you and your kids doing as you say your send offs this week? Do you have any traditions that will keep you close? Matthew will undoubtably have to undergo the first day of school pictures (which he doesn't know to dread yet!) and this mom will have a box of Kleenex in the car for after that first drop off, but I intend to be brave for him as he embarks on this new adventure.
No matter what your sendoff traditions are, I hope this first week is a great one for you and your families! Whether you are sending your kids off to preschool, junior high or college, the challenge is the same. We are sending our kids off in to someone else's hands and in doing so putting our faith and trust in those people to be there for our kids, to help and guide our kids, while they are there. This can be very hard, but it also makes our time together that much more valuable.
So my moms, I hope this week's sendoffs have gone well. Enjoy the peace and quiet that has fallen upon your homes, and take some time to care for yourself in this time of transition. It's not just about the kids, it's about you, too.
Finally, on a different note, be sure to tune in next week as the Chronicle Mom has a special announcement to share with all of you. You've been on this journey with me the past year as I have gone through the ups and downs in life and have been so fortunate to have this place to come and share those things with, hopefully helping some of you in the process. And so it seems only fitting that you embark on this next journey with me as well. I look forward to it with joy and fear and anticipation and so many other things. But that's for next week. So stay tuned!
And until next time, have a wonderful week!
The Mom Chronicles: When it Rains, It pours (8/23/10)
The Mom Chronicles: When it rains, it pours
This week I find myself back on solid earth out of the confinements of my husband's semi truck. It's good to be home. Or was, at least. But I will explain that in a moment.
First I want to follow up, as promised, to my little little experiment of Eat, Pray, Love Mom Chronicles style. Well, lets just say it wasn't exactly as glamorous as the movie and I didn't take away quite as much as the gal who did the original experience did. However, that is not to say it was a failure. The scale upon my arrival home certainly confirmed the fact that I ate. Unfortunately, the highlight of my eating was a whopper with cheese on one of the last days after eating nothing but snacks and sandwiches up to that point. In terms of the praying, I think what I walked away with is I have been pretty out of touch with the spiritual me. I tried to take some quiet time and keep my head from spinning with the traditional worries and stressers it likes to run with, and that was very hard. I found myself wanting to seek that spiritual connection again, and admitably it was challenging. But it gave me a place to start and I am making progress.
Finally, the love. Oh, the love. Well, all I can say on that is it ended better then it started. My husband treated me with a venture to a museum of my favorite race car driver and I totally loved him for that. While he would argue I spent more time on my facebook page or playing on my Blackberry, we actually had a fair amount of time to bond and talk about some things. Our problems are certainly not gone by any means, but that was the most time we've spent together by ourselves in four years, and we needed that.
Now, as I suggested earlier coming home wasn't as great as I thought. In fact I asked my hubby yesterday if I could go take his truck out for the week this week and let him stay home and put out fires all week. You see, it's good I had a couple days away as I came home to quite the storm. They do say, afterall, when it rains it pours. In this house it certainly does.
Let me share. So while I got my school bill paid it wasn't before all my classes had been dropped and I found out there were no openings in any of the ones I needed. That meant spending tons of time emailing professors for spots in classes. Some have worked out, others not.And while the bill for my classes was taken care of, it still remains to be seen how I will be able to get the books I need for them. Since being home I have also been diagnosed with a degenerative eye disease that has the same complications as that which is responsible for taking a substantial part of my uncle's vision. The same day I got home from the doctor from learning this, I had a phone call regarding the ability for my family to stay in our current residence and it remains to be seen if my family will still have a roof over our heads a month from now. As if none of this were enough I am days away from the anniversary of the loss of a baby two years ago, and I continue to be strung out by the county and my disability company in terms of help and assistence I need for my family. Assistence for medictions I have gone weeks with out, and for income I currently have none of. So pretty much things are pretty rough right now. Pretty much I feel like I am on the receiving end of someone's bad joke and have had enough being rained on.
I guess you could say that is why I have struggled so with the spiritual portion of life lately. I have struggled to understand why it is that some people are given so much? Why are some tested and dumped on over and over I want to know? When is enough, enough?
And so my moms while these are questions I put out there not necessarily looking for answers to but more just to throw out in to the great unknown, what I can say is that despite this all, I am still here. I am not sure how. I am not sure how some times at some moments I figure out how to even get one foot in front of the other. It's a miracle I am still standing at all. And yes, I am wondering just how much one person is meant to be able to take. Definitely part of me wants back on that truck to hide and get away from this all. However if there was anything I learned on that truck it was that while I may not be the greatest mom (far from it) or be able to give my kids everything they need and want, I love them, and I missed them, and I am so lucky to have them. I had everything I needed on the truck- time, food, a roof over my head, protection from the world of hurts around me. But what I didn't have were the two things that mean most to me, my kids. And so while my world continues to rain, I will be a shelter to them. I will try to protect them from it the best I can that they can continue to live a happy and carefree life that they are meant to live. In the mean time, think of us this week as we continue to struggle to find footing in a very unsteady time. There is after all the reality that once the rain settles, there is the inevitable mud that follows that's just as easy to get stuck in.
In full rain gear I say to you, have a great week.
This week I find myself back on solid earth out of the confinements of my husband's semi truck. It's good to be home. Or was, at least. But I will explain that in a moment.
First I want to follow up, as promised, to my little little experiment of Eat, Pray, Love Mom Chronicles style. Well, lets just say it wasn't exactly as glamorous as the movie and I didn't take away quite as much as the gal who did the original experience did. However, that is not to say it was a failure. The scale upon my arrival home certainly confirmed the fact that I ate. Unfortunately, the highlight of my eating was a whopper with cheese on one of the last days after eating nothing but snacks and sandwiches up to that point. In terms of the praying, I think what I walked away with is I have been pretty out of touch with the spiritual me. I tried to take some quiet time and keep my head from spinning with the traditional worries and stressers it likes to run with, and that was very hard. I found myself wanting to seek that spiritual connection again, and admitably it was challenging. But it gave me a place to start and I am making progress.
Finally, the love. Oh, the love. Well, all I can say on that is it ended better then it started. My husband treated me with a venture to a museum of my favorite race car driver and I totally loved him for that. While he would argue I spent more time on my facebook page or playing on my Blackberry, we actually had a fair amount of time to bond and talk about some things. Our problems are certainly not gone by any means, but that was the most time we've spent together by ourselves in four years, and we needed that.
Now, as I suggested earlier coming home wasn't as great as I thought. In fact I asked my hubby yesterday if I could go take his truck out for the week this week and let him stay home and put out fires all week. You see, it's good I had a couple days away as I came home to quite the storm. They do say, afterall, when it rains it pours. In this house it certainly does.
Let me share. So while I got my school bill paid it wasn't before all my classes had been dropped and I found out there were no openings in any of the ones I needed. That meant spending tons of time emailing professors for spots in classes. Some have worked out, others not.And while the bill for my classes was taken care of, it still remains to be seen how I will be able to get the books I need for them. Since being home I have also been diagnosed with a degenerative eye disease that has the same complications as that which is responsible for taking a substantial part of my uncle's vision. The same day I got home from the doctor from learning this, I had a phone call regarding the ability for my family to stay in our current residence and it remains to be seen if my family will still have a roof over our heads a month from now. As if none of this were enough I am days away from the anniversary of the loss of a baby two years ago, and I continue to be strung out by the county and my disability company in terms of help and assistence I need for my family. Assistence for medictions I have gone weeks with out, and for income I currently have none of. So pretty much things are pretty rough right now. Pretty much I feel like I am on the receiving end of someone's bad joke and have had enough being rained on.
I guess you could say that is why I have struggled so with the spiritual portion of life lately. I have struggled to understand why it is that some people are given so much? Why are some tested and dumped on over and over I want to know? When is enough, enough?
And so my moms while these are questions I put out there not necessarily looking for answers to but more just to throw out in to the great unknown, what I can say is that despite this all, I am still here. I am not sure how. I am not sure how some times at some moments I figure out how to even get one foot in front of the other. It's a miracle I am still standing at all. And yes, I am wondering just how much one person is meant to be able to take. Definitely part of me wants back on that truck to hide and get away from this all. However if there was anything I learned on that truck it was that while I may not be the greatest mom (far from it) or be able to give my kids everything they need and want, I love them, and I missed them, and I am so lucky to have them. I had everything I needed on the truck- time, food, a roof over my head, protection from the world of hurts around me. But what I didn't have were the two things that mean most to me, my kids. And so while my world continues to rain, I will be a shelter to them. I will try to protect them from it the best I can that they can continue to live a happy and carefree life that they are meant to live. In the mean time, think of us this week as we continue to struggle to find footing in a very unsteady time. There is after all the reality that once the rain settles, there is the inevitable mud that follows that's just as easy to get stuck in.
In full rain gear I say to you, have a great week.
The Mom Chronicles: Eat, Pray, Love Mom Chronicle Style (8/16/10)
The Mom Chronicles: Eat, Pray, Love Mom Chronicle Style
Hi, moms. Fall is in the air and I absolutely love it!
Well, this week I find myself on an interesting journey. I am on a break from school for a couple weeks and quite frankly in need of some time away, and so to pass the time I agreed, reluctantly, to accompany my husband in his semi-truck for a few days this week. I say reluctantly, because sitting in a semi-truck for sixteen hours a day in this beautiful weather is not exactly my idea of a good time. Yet I did it perhaps out of inspiration by the new movie out based on the book "Eat.Pray.Love." Now, I haven't seen it yet, nor have I read the book, but last week's episode of Oprah (which I have now had time to watch) did a good job of discussing it, so I got the jist and felt like it was exactly what the doctor called for.For the purpose of saving space here, if you aren't familiar with it, I encourage you to look in to it, but the synopsis is that its about a woman who goes on a bit of a soul searching mission following a divorce and deep depression in her life.
Now without knowing how it goes or how the story ends, perhaps in some way I felt like joining my hubby could be my own time away from the world to examine these things on my own. Now, certainly places like Italy or Indonesia may be a much grander place to do so as the book and movie did, but my world offers limitations that ultimately don't allow me to do this on such a scale.
Well, as I write this today, it is Monday. I have been in the truck for one day and I have mastered eating. Lots and lots of eating. No delicacies or lucious treats to arouse the tastebuds, unless you count those observed in the move "Julia and Julia" I watched. No, just some Twizzlers, chips and salsa and salads compliments of our local Cub foods.Yet, I am eating alright. But pretty sure I have missed the point. Instead of eating for pleasure and to find a sense of joy in something not normally joyful for me, I have tainted it with feelings of guilt and regret as my stomach bloats out today screaming "Don't eat! Don't eat!" Perhaps the joy and pleasure in it is yet to come (will I find some great treat at a truck stop perhaps? Ah, the possibilities are endless!)
Now, as for the praying and love, I have had my share of thinking time on my hands, and while no real praying yet, perhaps there is the reality that that needs to come. That spiritually I have lost my connection,my devotion, to that which is there to guide and create me and perhaps life wouldn't be so hard if only I got that connection back. Perhaps then could I be humbled in the generosity of others rather then feeling guilty and ashamed for needing their help, as I recently felt in having to utilize public assistence again. Feelings, mind you, that were self inflicted completely,not based whatsoever on the treatment from those offering it. But perhaps it indicated that I need to be able to get past my own feelings of worthlessness and instead feel courage. Perhaps all these feelings of fear I struggle with and feelings of being out of control I need to instead look to confront. And perhaps there lies in there somewhere, compassion for myself.
And that brings me to the love. I admit there has not been much lovey dovey in that oversided truck. I have hibernated in the sleeper compartment and watched movies, mostly, while only emerging to use the bathroom. However, it was part of the plan. My husband and I have, in working on and trying to make decisions still on our marriage after what's been quite the road, had intended on going on a couple's retreat. It hasn't been in the budget. Instead, I guess you could say this has taken its place. And while perhaps in the next four days it will emerge, my guess is that the love on this journey will be a lot more about myself then him.
And that brings me to that need for compassion as it goes with love. I am not talking of compassion for others, I have that licked. I am talking compassion towards myself. I am my own worst enemy. I sabotage my own life because I feel I deserve it. I treat myself poorly because I feel I don't deserve better. I stumble. I fall. I feel like that's what I do best,and I feel that way even amid a very conflicting new sense of self that is a direct impact of doing well in school. That need for compassion towards self, that's the big one.
It's day two.
And so my mom's this is no Hollywood tale. This is nothing you will see on the big screen or read about probably much beyond here (and yes, I do promise to let you know how it all ends next week!). However, it is a journey I am taking for a whole lot of reasons, mostly in hopes that one day in my life, I will be able to step back and truly live. I have a card hanging on my fridge that reads " The world is full of many people who will go through their whole lives and never actually live one day. She did not intend on being one of them." Perhaps this little venture around the midwest is my trying to figure out how to have that one day full of pleasure, devotion and balance, even if it is happening from the back of a big rig semi truck.
And finally, an unrelated call for help. I am seeking any of your knowledge of resources available beyond traditional loans to help pay for school. My fall semester is supposed to start next week, but I can't start until I get my summer paid for, which gives me little time. My financial situation is such I can't do it on my own, and losing my outlet of school would be devistating. And so if any of you are aware of any resources that can help quickly, please notify me through the paper.
As always have a beatiful and safe week and in it may you find your own peices of pleasure, devotion and balance.
Hi, moms. Fall is in the air and I absolutely love it!
Well, this week I find myself on an interesting journey. I am on a break from school for a couple weeks and quite frankly in need of some time away, and so to pass the time I agreed, reluctantly, to accompany my husband in his semi-truck for a few days this week. I say reluctantly, because sitting in a semi-truck for sixteen hours a day in this beautiful weather is not exactly my idea of a good time. Yet I did it perhaps out of inspiration by the new movie out based on the book "Eat.Pray.Love." Now, I haven't seen it yet, nor have I read the book, but last week's episode of Oprah (which I have now had time to watch) did a good job of discussing it, so I got the jist and felt like it was exactly what the doctor called for.For the purpose of saving space here, if you aren't familiar with it, I encourage you to look in to it, but the synopsis is that its about a woman who goes on a bit of a soul searching mission following a divorce and deep depression in her life.
Now without knowing how it goes or how the story ends, perhaps in some way I felt like joining my hubby could be my own time away from the world to examine these things on my own. Now, certainly places like Italy or Indonesia may be a much grander place to do so as the book and movie did, but my world offers limitations that ultimately don't allow me to do this on such a scale.
Well, as I write this today, it is Monday. I have been in the truck for one day and I have mastered eating. Lots and lots of eating. No delicacies or lucious treats to arouse the tastebuds, unless you count those observed in the move "Julia and Julia" I watched. No, just some Twizzlers, chips and salsa and salads compliments of our local Cub foods.Yet, I am eating alright. But pretty sure I have missed the point. Instead of eating for pleasure and to find a sense of joy in something not normally joyful for me, I have tainted it with feelings of guilt and regret as my stomach bloats out today screaming "Don't eat! Don't eat!" Perhaps the joy and pleasure in it is yet to come (will I find some great treat at a truck stop perhaps? Ah, the possibilities are endless!)
Now, as for the praying and love, I have had my share of thinking time on my hands, and while no real praying yet, perhaps there is the reality that that needs to come. That spiritually I have lost my connection,my devotion, to that which is there to guide and create me and perhaps life wouldn't be so hard if only I got that connection back. Perhaps then could I be humbled in the generosity of others rather then feeling guilty and ashamed for needing their help, as I recently felt in having to utilize public assistence again. Feelings, mind you, that were self inflicted completely,not based whatsoever on the treatment from those offering it. But perhaps it indicated that I need to be able to get past my own feelings of worthlessness and instead feel courage. Perhaps all these feelings of fear I struggle with and feelings of being out of control I need to instead look to confront. And perhaps there lies in there somewhere, compassion for myself.
And that brings me to the love. I admit there has not been much lovey dovey in that oversided truck. I have hibernated in the sleeper compartment and watched movies, mostly, while only emerging to use the bathroom. However, it was part of the plan. My husband and I have, in working on and trying to make decisions still on our marriage after what's been quite the road, had intended on going on a couple's retreat. It hasn't been in the budget. Instead, I guess you could say this has taken its place. And while perhaps in the next four days it will emerge, my guess is that the love on this journey will be a lot more about myself then him.
And that brings me to that need for compassion as it goes with love. I am not talking of compassion for others, I have that licked. I am talking compassion towards myself. I am my own worst enemy. I sabotage my own life because I feel I deserve it. I treat myself poorly because I feel I don't deserve better. I stumble. I fall. I feel like that's what I do best,and I feel that way even amid a very conflicting new sense of self that is a direct impact of doing well in school. That need for compassion towards self, that's the big one.
It's day two.
And so my mom's this is no Hollywood tale. This is nothing you will see on the big screen or read about probably much beyond here (and yes, I do promise to let you know how it all ends next week!). However, it is a journey I am taking for a whole lot of reasons, mostly in hopes that one day in my life, I will be able to step back and truly live. I have a card hanging on my fridge that reads " The world is full of many people who will go through their whole lives and never actually live one day. She did not intend on being one of them." Perhaps this little venture around the midwest is my trying to figure out how to have that one day full of pleasure, devotion and balance, even if it is happening from the back of a big rig semi truck.
And finally, an unrelated call for help. I am seeking any of your knowledge of resources available beyond traditional loans to help pay for school. My fall semester is supposed to start next week, but I can't start until I get my summer paid for, which gives me little time. My financial situation is such I can't do it on my own, and losing my outlet of school would be devistating. And so if any of you are aware of any resources that can help quickly, please notify me through the paper.
As always have a beatiful and safe week and in it may you find your own peices of pleasure, devotion and balance.
The Mom Chronicles: A Flawed System Part 2 (8/9/10)
The Mom Chronicles: Part 2 of A Flawed System
Hi, Moms! I hope you are all staying cool in this heat wave we are having! Our home does not have air conditioning so as you are cranking up yours, think of us as we fight the heat in the Peterson household! With two little kids, that's been an interesting task!
Well, as promised I write today with a follow up to my column a few weeks ago about the flawed system we have in addressing the needs of kids with special needs. For those of you who missed it, I wrote about the concerns I have about kids, my own in particular, not being able to receive special ed services in our community as they did not fall below the cut off the state and school district has for offering services. I have been forced to take my children to the cities for care, as they do not fall below two standards of deviation below others in certain areas which would allow them to be helped through the district.
This past week my son was evaluated through Gillette Children's in St. Paul and the experience was eye opening. Part of why he did not qualify for language assistence in our district was because he was hitting some of his later sounds a child learns in their language building. In fact, however, while he has a couple later sounds, he is missing almost all of the early sounds which give him the basis for which he needs to be able to construct his words. While his cognition of language is good, his ability to articulate it and process it verbally is substantially lacking. Instead of sounding like a four year old, he sounds like a late two year old when he talks as his fundamentals are lacking in his language. The appointment offered direction and hope I have been lacking. Now before I go further, the district has offered to reevaluate my son after school starts up again, and I will be taking them up on that offer. However, I remain frustrated with the system in place, and the visit to Gillette offered other insight as well. According to the provider we saw, they see far too many children who are requiring services and are just short of the school district cut offs. And while the school district screenings are supposed to be standardized, her own experience with her child was one where subs were brought in the day of preschool screenings and given a quick training session that morning. She had to remove herself from the room during the screenings as she was able to observe as a professional herself, the lack of skill and knowledge these folks had in screening the kids and was short of outraged. Now, while that was not in our district, it shows how unreliable this screening can be, and of all screenings, one that is so important.
You see, in denying children programs based on a screening which is in many cases subjective and not always performed by specialists in the area, we are doing them a huge diservice. How many kids are walking around who may actually qualfiy and aren't because of a flawed screening process?
The primary problem with this is if these kids are not identified as having issues until later in life or their school careers, we have missed the perfect window of opportunity to actually help them. In fact, child research information has established, according to Kidsource online, that the "rate of human development is most rapid in the preschool years," and "timeing of intervention becomes particularly important when a child runs the risk of missing an opportunity to learn during a state of maximun readiness. If the most teachable moments or stages of greatest readiness are not taken advantage of, a child may have difficult learning a particular skill at a later time", which means a child won't be able to develop to their full potential.
In addition to for the children themselves in which intervening earlier at a lower rate of deviation from the norm can lessen the effects of a condition, it can also lessen the effects of conditions on their families as well. I myself have experienced the feelings of disappointment, isolation, stess and frustration that this website talked about and can see how families can experience divorce, suicide, and abuse if they are not supported in their childrens special needs because of these feelings. By helping kids earlier, we are also helping their families as well in their attitudes, which in fact will impact the child themselves and provide them with the supportive and nourishing environment they need.
This all said, it seems to obvious to me why early interventions for kids are necessary and how much our system needs to be reviewed in terms of early screening in kids. Remember, as parents you can always request second opinions or evals. And remember that if the school district says no, you have other options. Unfortunately they may not be local or may be costly to you, however, it is so necessary to get your kids the help and support they need. Gillette has been a godsend for my family. Truly. And I hope you will step up and be the best support for your family you can. You are your child's best advocates. Remember that. And don't let anyone say no in terms of offering services. Where one door closes, others will open.
Indeed our system is still flawed, and as parents we must do what is necessary to fix it, be it at a local or state level. I am not sure where to start but as I continue on this journey, I will keep you updated and I hope and pray that others may support me on it.
Hi, Moms! I hope you are all staying cool in this heat wave we are having! Our home does not have air conditioning so as you are cranking up yours, think of us as we fight the heat in the Peterson household! With two little kids, that's been an interesting task!
Well, as promised I write today with a follow up to my column a few weeks ago about the flawed system we have in addressing the needs of kids with special needs. For those of you who missed it, I wrote about the concerns I have about kids, my own in particular, not being able to receive special ed services in our community as they did not fall below the cut off the state and school district has for offering services. I have been forced to take my children to the cities for care, as they do not fall below two standards of deviation below others in certain areas which would allow them to be helped through the district.
This past week my son was evaluated through Gillette Children's in St. Paul and the experience was eye opening. Part of why he did not qualify for language assistence in our district was because he was hitting some of his later sounds a child learns in their language building. In fact, however, while he has a couple later sounds, he is missing almost all of the early sounds which give him the basis for which he needs to be able to construct his words. While his cognition of language is good, his ability to articulate it and process it verbally is substantially lacking. Instead of sounding like a four year old, he sounds like a late two year old when he talks as his fundamentals are lacking in his language. The appointment offered direction and hope I have been lacking. Now before I go further, the district has offered to reevaluate my son after school starts up again, and I will be taking them up on that offer. However, I remain frustrated with the system in place, and the visit to Gillette offered other insight as well. According to the provider we saw, they see far too many children who are requiring services and are just short of the school district cut offs. And while the school district screenings are supposed to be standardized, her own experience with her child was one where subs were brought in the day of preschool screenings and given a quick training session that morning. She had to remove herself from the room during the screenings as she was able to observe as a professional herself, the lack of skill and knowledge these folks had in screening the kids and was short of outraged. Now, while that was not in our district, it shows how unreliable this screening can be, and of all screenings, one that is so important.
You see, in denying children programs based on a screening which is in many cases subjective and not always performed by specialists in the area, we are doing them a huge diservice. How many kids are walking around who may actually qualfiy and aren't because of a flawed screening process?
The primary problem with this is if these kids are not identified as having issues until later in life or their school careers, we have missed the perfect window of opportunity to actually help them. In fact, child research information has established, according to Kidsource online, that the "rate of human development is most rapid in the preschool years," and "timeing of intervention becomes particularly important when a child runs the risk of missing an opportunity to learn during a state of maximun readiness. If the most teachable moments or stages of greatest readiness are not taken advantage of, a child may have difficult learning a particular skill at a later time", which means a child won't be able to develop to their full potential.
In addition to for the children themselves in which intervening earlier at a lower rate of deviation from the norm can lessen the effects of a condition, it can also lessen the effects of conditions on their families as well. I myself have experienced the feelings of disappointment, isolation, stess and frustration that this website talked about and can see how families can experience divorce, suicide, and abuse if they are not supported in their childrens special needs because of these feelings. By helping kids earlier, we are also helping their families as well in their attitudes, which in fact will impact the child themselves and provide them with the supportive and nourishing environment they need.
This all said, it seems to obvious to me why early interventions for kids are necessary and how much our system needs to be reviewed in terms of early screening in kids. Remember, as parents you can always request second opinions or evals. And remember that if the school district says no, you have other options. Unfortunately they may not be local or may be costly to you, however, it is so necessary to get your kids the help and support they need. Gillette has been a godsend for my family. Truly. And I hope you will step up and be the best support for your family you can. You are your child's best advocates. Remember that. And don't let anyone say no in terms of offering services. Where one door closes, others will open.
Indeed our system is still flawed, and as parents we must do what is necessary to fix it, be it at a local or state level. I am not sure where to start but as I continue on this journey, I will keep you updated and I hope and pray that others may support me on it.
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