The Mom Chronicles: Lessons in Safety
So I suppose by now most of you have heard be it through Chad's story this past week or via other sources that last week was indeed a very big week for me. Not only did I pass my exams to become a Nationally registered EMT, but I had my first big adventure in putting my skills to use. Fortunately for me, and the little guy who required them, I was successful. This column, however, is not about telling the story, as I think most of you already got the jist. What it is aimed at doing, however, is to remind all of you just how quickly bad things can happen and how easily, in most cases, they can be prevented.
As both an EMT and writer of this column, I am dedicated to educating as many of you as possible and bringing equal awareness of the safety issues facing our kids and what our role as parents and as a community is in terms of preventing tragedys like what happened out at Lake Elmo last week from occuring. Naturally, I recognize and fully am aware of the fact that things happen. Things that are outside of our control happen every day, and while we can't then necessarily prevent them, we can do our best to be prepared for them. Therefor I am dedicating a great deal of my columns the next few weeks to various topics in child safety. I am not an expert. I only have the knowledge of the personal and professional experiences I have had. That said, I can share with you what I know and point you in the directions of the "real" professionals that have a knowledge much greater than mine in areas I am not so knowledgable in. And while I could get in to all kinds of details about complex safety measures we could put in place, in the end, it comes down to the basics. It comes down to parents being diligent about watching their kids, and in the times they can not be there, the importance of choosing someone to watch them that will be equally if not even more diligent then we as parents will even be. It's about educating ourselves and our kids. It's about doing the little things that we sometimes take for granted: wearing a seatbelt, a helmet while riding a bike, life jackets while in the water, not talking to strangers, knowing how to assess the emergency medical services through 911, and so on. It's about knowing things like basic first aid and CPR for when things do happen, and I was thrilled to see the education being done in the middle school to teach even our local students the basics in CPR, something that can be such a vital role in saving some ones life. And so while yes, I was able to assist someone in such a way that made a vital difference in saving their life, as a mom, that was not what I walked away with. It was the reminder of how important the safety of our kids is and how quickly lives can be changed in a few short seconds of non-diligence or letting our guards down. So I look forward to the weeks ahead and if you have an idea for a safety topic, please forward it on to me, and hopefully together we can see to it that our kids have as safe of a summer as possible.
On a final note, something that was difficult for me this past week was the credit I got for what I did on that beach. The reality is, and something that I am very humbled by, is the fact, I was not the only one there who stepped in to assist this little boy. Additionally, we have a whole group of people in our community who put themselves our there for each of you every day. They have saved countless lives, making my one not such a big deal. And the thing about these people is that they don't do it for the credit or validation. They do it because they have a true and sincere desire to help and impact the lives of others. And so I ask that you keep that in mind whenever you see an ambulance or fire truck or policeman. And I also ask that you take some time to educate yourselves about the roles that they play in our community, roles that extend beyond just driving an ambulance or showing up at a false alarm or pulling over a speeding pedestrian. They are people that are vital to the safety and well being of our community, and our appreciation for and support of them are vital as well.
Have a safe and wonderful week.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The Mom Chronicles: What Makes Special (6/3)
Welcome back moms, from all of your Memorial Day adventures. Whether you stayed at home, or traveled afar I hope the weekend was special for you and your families.
For us, the Memorial Day Weekend got off to an interesting start. You see, while I was busy planning our Momorial weekend adventures, I was met with a bit of discouraging news. I learned my son needs glasses. He is three, I thought. Already? For me having received the news, disappointment inevidably set in. See, as moms we have this dream of our children being born perfect. Not of just having ten fingers and toes, but everything else just as it should be as well. Now many of you may be thinking, glasses that's no big deal. Many people wear glasses. But for this mom, its one more thing. Yes, this is the boy that was "supposed" to be born with Down Syndrome and have a heart defect, and didn't. He is the boy whose lungs were supposed to be "borderline" mature when I was induced for his birth, but who didn't need a single day in the NICU. So with these gifts, why is this dampening my spirits so much?
I guess you could say I wanted better for him. While Matty hasn't had those major issues, he's had several others ranging from a chronic medical condition to developmental delays. At the same time, my daughter who was also born prematurely and spent a week in the NICU, has gross motor delays. While having just turned two,she has only walked for a couple months and still can not walk up and down steps or run or completely keep up with her friends her age. Each week I make the trip up to Gillette Children's in St. Paul with her for her physical therapy to help her muscles grow strength and be able to better support her that she may some day be able to run after her friends at the park. Now yes, in going to Gillette, I see a lot of kids a whole worse off then either of mine. So why then not just be thankful for what we have been given and why be so caddy as to let a simple pair of glasses put a damper on what is supposed to be such a fun time of year?
The answer, I suppose, is not as simple as it sounds. I guess in everything my kids have gone through, not just physically and developmentally but emotionally, I just want something in their lives to be normal. To not set them apart and make them "special".
And that brings up an interesting point. What is "special" anyways and is it really that bad? Why no. In fact, special lies with in all of us and all of our kids. We can all argue that even someone with the most normal, flawless child is special. That's because special extends far beyond that which is on the outside. Special is all about what lies within. For my son, he is special not just because he is delayed in some areas, but because he has a killer smile and tremendous heart. He loves "dancin and swimmin'" and asks to go almost each night. He has a great sense of humor, a tender heart, a giving soul. He cuddles and kisses and loves his momma an aweful lot. Yet its perhaps those things that make my heart break at the sound of him needing glasses. You see there is the reality that kids can be mean. What if, I think, my son is teased? What if these glasses bring him negative attention or make him feel insecure or in some way make him feel less then the radiant little boy he is? The fact is, I don't want to have others look at him and think he must be "special" because he has glasses. I want them to know and see his heart and think "Wow! Now that's a special boy!"
And the same goes for my daughter and people's thoughts and responses to her current delays. In addition there is the fear and reality that due to how her little life started and the crappy genetics she got from her mom that she will likely need glasses one day, too. And likely I will have the same response. Inside that is. But I assure you the response to my children on the outside is not poor you, you are going to be different. It's how cool are you that you get to wear these glasses? We let Matty try on whatever pair he wanted to today. And while he still insists on orange ones (which they may just happen to be "out of" on the day we order his) as his mom I will be there hiding my own fears and insecurities for him, as I learn to support him and teach him just how special he is, glasses, or no glasses.
And so while this Memorial day I was quietly celebrating the last outing with out juggling Matty's new glasses or worrying about them in one way or another, I was also taking time to sit back and appreciate my son for being special in all the other ways he is.
That said, if you have a child that has a need that is not the same as most kids their age or is in some ways different, just remember that special is in the eyes of the beholder. No, actually, its in all of us. So as you have that time together this summer if you have a child or person in your home who is a little "special", let this be a time that you celebrate the specials within, not just those on the outside.
See you next week!
The Mom Chronicles: Summer in the Air (5/27)
The Mom Chronicles: Summer in the Air
Hey, Moms. Has it been warm enough for everyone? Seems like summer has found us in a big way. Hopefully unlike me, you all are fortunate enough to have air conditioning in your homes. Us...not so much. So its been pretty nasty but we are surviving. What all this warm weather has done besides make us hot and sweaty and a wee bit crabby at times.. is sort of inspired us to switch gears. The warm weather tends to get us all in to vacation mode, or slow down mode. It seems the days get a little lazier and each one feels like an opportunity to go out and do something.This column is all about our favorite things to do when the weather turns to warm.
May, warm or not, is the beginning of my favorite season, garage sale season. Now I never used to be much in to garage sales, mind you, but being a mom on a very small budget I have grown to love them. Now I don't go over board and am not one of those people that plans days in advance which sales to hit up in which order and that sort of thing, but I do usually choose a select couple and check them out. One of these days I will write a whole column on garage saling, as I pretty much have it down to an art. Today is not that day. However, I will share that every Thursday and Friday morning I admit I have woken up a little giddy. I look forward to going and venturing out. I have found some great things for the kids at very reasonable prices. And the kids love it, too! They are getting new things and they don't know I didn't pay top dollar for them. Not paying top dollar and being able to then get the kids things like games and books we otherwise couldn't afford makes mom happy.
With the warm weather has also come digging in the dirt. I love to plant flowers and dig in the dirt but nerve issues in my arms don't allow me to do much of it. Enter the kids. Its become a whole family affair. Ella fills up a bucket with dirt, Matthew helps me dig my holes and I can stick the flowers where I want them. It isn't as relaxing and solitude of a venture as I usually like it to be but its been great for the three of us to spend time together and has taught me family time is more important than things being just in their place or done perfectly.
The School House Scoop ice cream shop has also been one of our favorite spots to visit. Albeit a bit early in the season to be hitting up icecream on a regular basis, the staff there is great and the kids love to go. They get to get up on the little bench so they can see all the different kinds and colors and undoubtably always choose the blue kinds. Birthday cake waffle cones happen to be my thing, but whichever we choose, we all leave very happy (and sticky, and the kids - blue. Caution on the Superman icecream!) It never fails we run in to people we know there and it feels like sort of a fun place to get together. At least once a week, you will find us there.
And on to our favorite parks and beaches. This past weekend we went down to the Prescott beach. Now river and Lake swimming aren't my thing, but they have a decent beach and the kids had great fun. Our very favorite swimming hole is at Lake Elmo Park Reserve. They have a fabulous man made swimming hole that has the appearance of a small lake, but isn't, is rather a well filtered fabulous place for a dip. We will definitely be there a LOT this summer. And if its rainy out, as it was on Saturday when our plans to hit up Como park were sort of put the cabosh on, try the Central Park indoor park in Woodbury. There they have this fabulous indoor play facility for the kids. Its five bucks a kid to get in (moms and dads are free) and my kids were content for hours there. If you are brave like I was, and choose to climb and venture with your kids beware: you will definitely want to shower afterwords as you watch all the kids wiping their runny noses and the like with their hands.. However, it was a great place to go on a rainy day and well worth the price to get in. And speaking of Como park, next week the new Polar Bear exhibit opens, which we are so very excited for, and mid June the butterflies are back as well. That's an experience all in its own. So while not local, be sure to hit up Como Park as well. Its free and really has come a long way in the past few years. On a final local note, the aquatic center in town will undoubtably get our business as well this year. There is a great play area for the smaller kids and a big ole slide for us big people. Its clean, well kept, and close to home. Gotta love it.
Well I doubt we will be firing up the grill today, but undboutably the strawberries and sweet corn will be back on the docket for dinner tonight. All of them summer favorites as well.
Stay cool and have a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend!
Hey, Moms. Has it been warm enough for everyone? Seems like summer has found us in a big way. Hopefully unlike me, you all are fortunate enough to have air conditioning in your homes. Us...not so much. So its been pretty nasty but we are surviving. What all this warm weather has done besides make us hot and sweaty and a wee bit crabby at times.. is sort of inspired us to switch gears. The warm weather tends to get us all in to vacation mode, or slow down mode. It seems the days get a little lazier and each one feels like an opportunity to go out and do something.This column is all about our favorite things to do when the weather turns to warm.
May, warm or not, is the beginning of my favorite season, garage sale season. Now I never used to be much in to garage sales, mind you, but being a mom on a very small budget I have grown to love them. Now I don't go over board and am not one of those people that plans days in advance which sales to hit up in which order and that sort of thing, but I do usually choose a select couple and check them out. One of these days I will write a whole column on garage saling, as I pretty much have it down to an art. Today is not that day. However, I will share that every Thursday and Friday morning I admit I have woken up a little giddy. I look forward to going and venturing out. I have found some great things for the kids at very reasonable prices. And the kids love it, too! They are getting new things and they don't know I didn't pay top dollar for them. Not paying top dollar and being able to then get the kids things like games and books we otherwise couldn't afford makes mom happy.
With the warm weather has also come digging in the dirt. I love to plant flowers and dig in the dirt but nerve issues in my arms don't allow me to do much of it. Enter the kids. Its become a whole family affair. Ella fills up a bucket with dirt, Matthew helps me dig my holes and I can stick the flowers where I want them. It isn't as relaxing and solitude of a venture as I usually like it to be but its been great for the three of us to spend time together and has taught me family time is more important than things being just in their place or done perfectly.
The School House Scoop ice cream shop has also been one of our favorite spots to visit. Albeit a bit early in the season to be hitting up icecream on a regular basis, the staff there is great and the kids love to go. They get to get up on the little bench so they can see all the different kinds and colors and undoubtably always choose the blue kinds. Birthday cake waffle cones happen to be my thing, but whichever we choose, we all leave very happy (and sticky, and the kids - blue. Caution on the Superman icecream!) It never fails we run in to people we know there and it feels like sort of a fun place to get together. At least once a week, you will find us there.
And on to our favorite parks and beaches. This past weekend we went down to the Prescott beach. Now river and Lake swimming aren't my thing, but they have a decent beach and the kids had great fun. Our very favorite swimming hole is at Lake Elmo Park Reserve. They have a fabulous man made swimming hole that has the appearance of a small lake, but isn't, is rather a well filtered fabulous place for a dip. We will definitely be there a LOT this summer. And if its rainy out, as it was on Saturday when our plans to hit up Como park were sort of put the cabosh on, try the Central Park indoor park in Woodbury. There they have this fabulous indoor play facility for the kids. Its five bucks a kid to get in (moms and dads are free) and my kids were content for hours there. If you are brave like I was, and choose to climb and venture with your kids beware: you will definitely want to shower afterwords as you watch all the kids wiping their runny noses and the like with their hands.. However, it was a great place to go on a rainy day and well worth the price to get in. And speaking of Como park, next week the new Polar Bear exhibit opens, which we are so very excited for, and mid June the butterflies are back as well. That's an experience all in its own. So while not local, be sure to hit up Como Park as well. Its free and really has come a long way in the past few years. On a final local note, the aquatic center in town will undoubtably get our business as well this year. There is a great play area for the smaller kids and a big ole slide for us big people. Its clean, well kept, and close to home. Gotta love it.
Well I doubt we will be firing up the grill today, but undboutably the strawberries and sweet corn will be back on the docket for dinner tonight. All of them summer favorites as well.
While miserable feeling at times, I hope you are all enjoying the warm weather and that you have a safe and fun holiday weekend. I hope you will check out some of our favorite spots and don't be afraid to say hi if we should be there at the same time.
The Mom Chronicles: This and That (5/20)
The Mom Chronicles: This and That
Welcome Back, moms! I feel as if its been an eternity since I was here! I am gone one week and it feels as if I've been gone for years.
Well first, I would like to thank all of you who have stopped me to comment on the Mother's Day column I wrote. I really appreciated your feedback. I feel very priveledged that I get to come here each week and be a part of your lives. And remember, the only reason I am able to do that is because I am one of you, too. I appreciate the kind compliments on my column and hope you know that I come here each week not because of the compliments I may generate, but because I have been given an opportunity to be here for each of you in a very unique way. I am very greatful for that.
So where have I been? Well, I guess you could say taking care of some business. I regret to confess that I had to readmit myself to the hospital for further treatment for my depression. I guess you could say it is much easier to give the cheerleading and hope then to take it. It was very, very hard for me to be away from my kids, especially over Mother's Day, and while I got to see them for a short time that day, it just wasn't the same. But I must remind myself of what I remind you all of all the time, we can't take care of our kids unless we first take care of ourselves. Unfortunately my stay was cut short due to lack of care for my kids, but I hope the weeks ahead will give me further opportunities to get some of the help I have needed for a very long time.
Also detaining me a bit was my commitment to school. I am proud to report that I am one exam away from being a licensed, Nationally Registered EMT. I managed to get an A in my class and to complete the class at the top. I passed both of my "Rediness" exams to prepare me for the official license tests I need to take, and have since passed one of the required two. I had my practical exam this past Saturday which tested me on my skills I am required to be able to know and perform. I am now just waiting for my green light to take my written exam. I am very proud of this accomplishment and hope in the very near future I can serve you, the residents of Hastings, in a more "official" form hopefully in the form of a position with the Hastings Fire Dept. Unfortunately a hiring freeze has them a bit stuck at the moment, but believe you me I am all about pursuing that role as soon as it presents itself. I have been very verbal in the past in how highly I view the dept and the people that work for it, and they were the inspiration behind my completing this course and now pursing further classes to go one step further and become a paramedic. We are very lucky to live in a community that has such a great group of people serving us and I hope you will take the time to thank them when you see them around or stop by the station with your kids some time to give a wave of appreciation. So, one test to go. Wish me luck.
And now, while all that catching up doesn't leave me much space for a whole lot more this week, I do want to make mention of something I learned the past couple weeks. I guess you could say I didn't really learn it, but was reminded of it.
Moms protect your kids. Please remember you are your kids best advocates. You know who they are, what makes them tick, what they need. Your kids rely on you to be there for them, to protect them, to keep them safe. Others, even their fathers in some situations, can not necessarily be trusted to do the same. At all times and in all circumstances, you must be there for your kids. Sometimes yes, this means putting your own most important needs aside. It can be hard. It can feel challenging. And when others don't see things the same way it can feel darn near impossible. But that is one thing I have had to do the past couple weeks and I consider it my most important job. Others will not always make decisions that are the best for your kids. They will not always be able to see all that your kids are or do or have been through. As moms you are in that unique role. So stand up for them. Advocate for them. Be that mamma bear we have talked about in the past and don't let them be put in harms way. That's my salt box for this week. I say it only because it is so near and dear to me and so very fitting in my own life at this time.
Well, to you all a beautiful, warm, sunny week. Life may not always be or feel or present itself that way, but at least for this week, I am going to step outside at least one day and put my face to the sun and feel its warmth beam on my cheeks. It can't solve life, but it certainly can't hurt.
See you next week. And again, thanks for your comments on the column. They are stored away in a very special place in my heart that I carry with me through all my days. To steal one of my favorite people's lines- you are good eggs.
Welcome Back, moms! I feel as if its been an eternity since I was here! I am gone one week and it feels as if I've been gone for years.
Well first, I would like to thank all of you who have stopped me to comment on the Mother's Day column I wrote. I really appreciated your feedback. I feel very priveledged that I get to come here each week and be a part of your lives. And remember, the only reason I am able to do that is because I am one of you, too. I appreciate the kind compliments on my column and hope you know that I come here each week not because of the compliments I may generate, but because I have been given an opportunity to be here for each of you in a very unique way. I am very greatful for that.
So where have I been? Well, I guess you could say taking care of some business. I regret to confess that I had to readmit myself to the hospital for further treatment for my depression. I guess you could say it is much easier to give the cheerleading and hope then to take it. It was very, very hard for me to be away from my kids, especially over Mother's Day, and while I got to see them for a short time that day, it just wasn't the same. But I must remind myself of what I remind you all of all the time, we can't take care of our kids unless we first take care of ourselves. Unfortunately my stay was cut short due to lack of care for my kids, but I hope the weeks ahead will give me further opportunities to get some of the help I have needed for a very long time.
Also detaining me a bit was my commitment to school. I am proud to report that I am one exam away from being a licensed, Nationally Registered EMT. I managed to get an A in my class and to complete the class at the top. I passed both of my "Rediness" exams to prepare me for the official license tests I need to take, and have since passed one of the required two. I had my practical exam this past Saturday which tested me on my skills I am required to be able to know and perform. I am now just waiting for my green light to take my written exam. I am very proud of this accomplishment and hope in the very near future I can serve you, the residents of Hastings, in a more "official" form hopefully in the form of a position with the Hastings Fire Dept. Unfortunately a hiring freeze has them a bit stuck at the moment, but believe you me I am all about pursuing that role as soon as it presents itself. I have been very verbal in the past in how highly I view the dept and the people that work for it, and they were the inspiration behind my completing this course and now pursing further classes to go one step further and become a paramedic. We are very lucky to live in a community that has such a great group of people serving us and I hope you will take the time to thank them when you see them around or stop by the station with your kids some time to give a wave of appreciation. So, one test to go. Wish me luck.
And now, while all that catching up doesn't leave me much space for a whole lot more this week, I do want to make mention of something I learned the past couple weeks. I guess you could say I didn't really learn it, but was reminded of it.
Moms protect your kids. Please remember you are your kids best advocates. You know who they are, what makes them tick, what they need. Your kids rely on you to be there for them, to protect them, to keep them safe. Others, even their fathers in some situations, can not necessarily be trusted to do the same. At all times and in all circumstances, you must be there for your kids. Sometimes yes, this means putting your own most important needs aside. It can be hard. It can feel challenging. And when others don't see things the same way it can feel darn near impossible. But that is one thing I have had to do the past couple weeks and I consider it my most important job. Others will not always make decisions that are the best for your kids. They will not always be able to see all that your kids are or do or have been through. As moms you are in that unique role. So stand up for them. Advocate for them. Be that mamma bear we have talked about in the past and don't let them be put in harms way. That's my salt box for this week. I say it only because it is so near and dear to me and so very fitting in my own life at this time.
Well, to you all a beautiful, warm, sunny week. Life may not always be or feel or present itself that way, but at least for this week, I am going to step outside at least one day and put my face to the sun and feel its warmth beam on my cheeks. It can't solve life, but it certainly can't hurt.
See you next week. And again, thanks for your comments on the column. They are stored away in a very special place in my heart that I carry with me through all my days. To steal one of my favorite people's lines- you are good eggs.
The Mom Chronicles: A Tribute (5/6)
The Mom Chronicles: A Tribute
My dear moms. This column is a tribute for you in honor of Mother's Day. I hope you enjoy it.
"The Hats of a Mom"
The old saying goes that a mom is the bearer and wearer of many hats. That the title "mom" actually means "doer of many things; skilled in multiple professions." The role of a mother is as vast as it is wide, as specific as it is unspecific, as acquired as it is innate. Afterall, a mother was not created to create alone, but to create, nurture, foster, and provide. It is because of this if you open a mother's closet it is not shoes that tumble out, but hats and hats galore. Some are invisible, mind you, while others are as bold as a neon sign. Some are nearly worn out, while others still bear their tags waiting for the precise moment when they are to be put to use.
So what are these hats you ask? Oh, the list is none too few. For for every role a mother has, to her a new hat is issued to.
A mother is a mix of mothers, Goose and Earth to name a few. For for every story that she tells, new life comes to me and you. A mother is a homemaker, a builder and designer. Afterall the honey do list that she makes, is often done by her. A mother is a gardener, a planter of many seeds, and she waters them and fertilizes them, attending to all their needs. And when her garden bears its fruit and blooms its petals bright, she quietly stands back and smiles with delight. A mother is a firefighter, sometimes literal others assumed, as she bravely pours water over the fires in life, as if danger never loomed. A mother is a law maker, a politician and a judge, for what's fair is fair and done is done and when you fall out of line, she's there to give a corrective nudge. A mother is a night watchman always keeping watch, for her candle always burns at both ends until she hears the front door's notch. And while she's up and holding down the fort she tends and grooms, she is the recordkeeper, the biographer, the photographer that always looms. A mother is a paramedic, a doctor and a nurse, for if it bleeds, vomits, breaks or gushes, she's got a remedy in her purse. A mother is a teacher, a librarian and tutor, because when it comes to books and school, good grades will always suit her. A mother is a businesswoman, a broker and a banker,and for the bank of mom, though sometimes broke, for each withdrawal you should thank her. But a mom is not always serious, a police man or P.I., she's the entertainer, costume maker, party planner and a professional at hair dye (especially her own!) She's the seamstress, the florest, the beautician, and nail technition, and whether your prom or wedding day, she's the one to make you radiant and glisten. She is the troup leader, the Den Mother, the hockey and soccer mom, the referee, the coach, the cheerleader and school song. A mother plays scientist, an inventor at her best, and when its time for science fairs, volcanoes are her test! The tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny,and Santa Clause himself, for if it weren't for mom, would be just stories on a shelf. A mother is a counselor, a pastor and spiritual guide, that teaches us the way and word, and about how Jesus died. She is the zoo keeper, the animal trainer, the veteranarian for when our furriest of friends, make their ways home with us and there our interest in them ends! She's the Queen, the Cinderella, the maiden and the slave, the chocolate brownies that she bakes, have become the latest rave! A mother is a detector of metal, lies and harm, for homeland security is her number one, and she knows when to sound alarm. She is the calander, the pocket planner, the personal attendant that keeps us on track, her organizing and time managing allows no time to slack! But while all these hats are important, yes that is quite true, a mothers prize hats to wear are not what's always apparent to me and you. They're the hats that read "Nurturer", "Confidaunt" and "Friend", and hang next to the ones that say "Constant" and "There 'til the End". So while it seems a mother's day is full of flipping hats, remember that 's what makes her-her, and give her many pats. Pats to say "way to go" and "I appreciate all you do", pats to remind her that its because of her, that you are you. And if you're a mom whose pats don't come often as they could or should, remember how talented you are, and that as a mom you are oh, so good! For it's not the number of pats we get for the job that we do, its the pure joy experienced in watching our kids grow that we do what we do. A mother's job is never done, even after her final breath, the hats are nearly passed, leaving their impact even in death,
With that, I hope you all have a most wonderful Mother's Day. Take the time to celebrate you and the wonders that you are and do!
My dear moms. This column is a tribute for you in honor of Mother's Day. I hope you enjoy it.
"The Hats of a Mom"
The old saying goes that a mom is the bearer and wearer of many hats. That the title "mom" actually means "doer of many things; skilled in multiple professions." The role of a mother is as vast as it is wide, as specific as it is unspecific, as acquired as it is innate. Afterall, a mother was not created to create alone, but to create, nurture, foster, and provide. It is because of this if you open a mother's closet it is not shoes that tumble out, but hats and hats galore. Some are invisible, mind you, while others are as bold as a neon sign. Some are nearly worn out, while others still bear their tags waiting for the precise moment when they are to be put to use.
So what are these hats you ask? Oh, the list is none too few. For for every role a mother has, to her a new hat is issued to.
A mother is a mix of mothers, Goose and Earth to name a few. For for every story that she tells, new life comes to me and you. A mother is a homemaker, a builder and designer. Afterall the honey do list that she makes, is often done by her. A mother is a gardener, a planter of many seeds, and she waters them and fertilizes them, attending to all their needs. And when her garden bears its fruit and blooms its petals bright, she quietly stands back and smiles with delight. A mother is a firefighter, sometimes literal others assumed, as she bravely pours water over the fires in life, as if danger never loomed. A mother is a law maker, a politician and a judge, for what's fair is fair and done is done and when you fall out of line, she's there to give a corrective nudge. A mother is a night watchman always keeping watch, for her candle always burns at both ends until she hears the front door's notch. And while she's up and holding down the fort she tends and grooms, she is the recordkeeper, the biographer, the photographer that always looms. A mother is a paramedic, a doctor and a nurse, for if it bleeds, vomits, breaks or gushes, she's got a remedy in her purse. A mother is a teacher, a librarian and tutor, because when it comes to books and school, good grades will always suit her. A mother is a businesswoman, a broker and a banker,and for the bank of mom, though sometimes broke, for each withdrawal you should thank her. But a mom is not always serious, a police man or P.I., she's the entertainer, costume maker, party planner and a professional at hair dye (especially her own!) She's the seamstress, the florest, the beautician, and nail technition, and whether your prom or wedding day, she's the one to make you radiant and glisten. She is the troup leader, the Den Mother, the hockey and soccer mom, the referee, the coach, the cheerleader and school song. A mother plays scientist, an inventor at her best, and when its time for science fairs, volcanoes are her test! The tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny,and Santa Clause himself, for if it weren't for mom, would be just stories on a shelf. A mother is a counselor, a pastor and spiritual guide, that teaches us the way and word, and about how Jesus died. She is the zoo keeper, the animal trainer, the veteranarian for when our furriest of friends, make their ways home with us and there our interest in them ends! She's the Queen, the Cinderella, the maiden and the slave, the chocolate brownies that she bakes, have become the latest rave! A mother is a detector of metal, lies and harm, for homeland security is her number one, and she knows when to sound alarm. She is the calander, the pocket planner, the personal attendant that keeps us on track, her organizing and time managing allows no time to slack! But while all these hats are important, yes that is quite true, a mothers prize hats to wear are not what's always apparent to me and you. They're the hats that read "Nurturer", "Confidaunt" and "Friend", and hang next to the ones that say "Constant" and "There 'til the End". So while it seems a mother's day is full of flipping hats, remember that 's what makes her-her, and give her many pats. Pats to say "way to go" and "I appreciate all you do", pats to remind her that its because of her, that you are you. And if you're a mom whose pats don't come often as they could or should, remember how talented you are, and that as a mom you are oh, so good! For it's not the number of pats we get for the job that we do, its the pure joy experienced in watching our kids grow that we do what we do. A mother's job is never done, even after her final breath, the hats are nearly passed, leaving their impact even in death,
With that, I hope you all have a most wonderful Mother's Day. Take the time to celebrate you and the wonders that you are and do!
The Mom Chronicles: Strength in Two (4/29)
The Mom Chronicles:Strength in two
My dear moms. Today's column is about strength. Strength in numbers. Strength in one number in particular.The number two.
As you know, my daughter Ella turned two this past week. Now, what do most of us think of when we hear about a child turning two? We think the terrible twos. We think tantrums and trying behaviors and have frightening images of children throwing themselves on the floor kicking and screaming. I admit, I have seen these images in my home already. Twice. I now have had two children who entered that delicate age of two. However, my dear daughter, in perfect form of breaking the norm and showing her strong, independant personality showed me today a very different side of two.
This past week was probably the worst for me in recent, or perhaps even my whole life history. There were two things in my life that proved to be devastating to me this week. Aha, we have that magic number two again.The first was in the form of being given the news that my depression has become so resistent to medication treatment that at this time the only other real option for me is ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy, also known as shock therapy). This, an option which's prominent side effect being memory loss. And as a mom, and person whose identity lies so much with in her kids, the thought of subjecting myself to a treatment that could potentially erase memories of events and times with my children is - for lack of a better word-devistating. Additionally it would risk losing valuable knowledge I have obtained in my current area of study, an area in which people's lives are in my hands, and not one that would allow memories to fail.
The second form of devistation came in the form of the not just crumbling, but shear explosion of the relationship with my husband that I have worked so hard to save and salvage, and that happened in a matter of moments. The work, the second and third and fourth chances I have given him came back and slapped me harder then any thing in my life ever has and I was stunned. Breathless. I literally could not breathe. Wounded by words deeper then I ever knew words were capable of wounding.
It was no wonder then that by the time church came on Sunday, a place I often seek respite and comfort, it was all I had left to try to keep it together. And I failed miserably. I don't know if it was the particular message or the songs or lack of sleep or just events of the week, but I started to cry and could not stop. And then came this tremendous blessing in the form of not a terrible, but the most tremendous two year old.
My daughter, who I had tried to leave at the church nursery and who strongly resisted so I brought her in with me, came up in to my lap, wrapped her arms around me, rested her head on my shoulder and proceeded to gently pat my back as I sat and fought to hold back tears. As the strength left me it was as if it flowed right in to her and she was there to comfort me. I clung to her the remainder of the service, and she didn't let go. She never once pulled away. She just kept patting me with those soft, gentle pats on my back and let me fall apart. And she stayed that way until I let her go. At that moment I saw my daughter in a very different way. She is terrible two no more. In her I saw the same strength and resiliancy I have always seen in myself but that was absent at that time. I saw this stoic, brave, compassionate little girl emerge and it was nothing short of amazing.
Our exchange did not change a thing that happened this week. It did not suddenly make me, mom, better or heal my marriage or my mind. But it gave my heart the greatest squeeze it's ever been given and to my daughter, I am eternally greatful, and in that moment was eternally blessed.
I never thought of two as a strong number. Certainly two is better than one, unless you are talking about the number of devistating life events in a week. But to me today, two is the strongest number.
I do not know what the next weeks have in store for me. Quite frankly, I rather not know. But what I do know, is that no matter what happens I will not be in them alone. For I know I have a family, a daughter who loves me enough that she would take on my pain for me for even that short time, and while that will be neither her job or expectation of her that she continue in that role, she is afterall - only two, her filling it in those moments that she did meant more to me than any subsequent comfort I may receive ever will.
And so my moms, the next time you hear a two year old, perhaps even your own, referred to as being in the terrible twos, I challenge you to reconsider that notion that the strength and determination that lies with in them is terrible. Rather, it is indeed the most terrific thing I have ever seen.
My dear moms. Today's column is about strength. Strength in numbers. Strength in one number in particular.The number two.
As you know, my daughter Ella turned two this past week. Now, what do most of us think of when we hear about a child turning two? We think the terrible twos. We think tantrums and trying behaviors and have frightening images of children throwing themselves on the floor kicking and screaming. I admit, I have seen these images in my home already. Twice. I now have had two children who entered that delicate age of two. However, my dear daughter, in perfect form of breaking the norm and showing her strong, independant personality showed me today a very different side of two.
This past week was probably the worst for me in recent, or perhaps even my whole life history. There were two things in my life that proved to be devastating to me this week. Aha, we have that magic number two again.The first was in the form of being given the news that my depression has become so resistent to medication treatment that at this time the only other real option for me is ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy, also known as shock therapy). This, an option which's prominent side effect being memory loss. And as a mom, and person whose identity lies so much with in her kids, the thought of subjecting myself to a treatment that could potentially erase memories of events and times with my children is - for lack of a better word-devistating. Additionally it would risk losing valuable knowledge I have obtained in my current area of study, an area in which people's lives are in my hands, and not one that would allow memories to fail.
The second form of devistation came in the form of the not just crumbling, but shear explosion of the relationship with my husband that I have worked so hard to save and salvage, and that happened in a matter of moments. The work, the second and third and fourth chances I have given him came back and slapped me harder then any thing in my life ever has and I was stunned. Breathless. I literally could not breathe. Wounded by words deeper then I ever knew words were capable of wounding.
It was no wonder then that by the time church came on Sunday, a place I often seek respite and comfort, it was all I had left to try to keep it together. And I failed miserably. I don't know if it was the particular message or the songs or lack of sleep or just events of the week, but I started to cry and could not stop. And then came this tremendous blessing in the form of not a terrible, but the most tremendous two year old.
My daughter, who I had tried to leave at the church nursery and who strongly resisted so I brought her in with me, came up in to my lap, wrapped her arms around me, rested her head on my shoulder and proceeded to gently pat my back as I sat and fought to hold back tears. As the strength left me it was as if it flowed right in to her and she was there to comfort me. I clung to her the remainder of the service, and she didn't let go. She never once pulled away. She just kept patting me with those soft, gentle pats on my back and let me fall apart. And she stayed that way until I let her go. At that moment I saw my daughter in a very different way. She is terrible two no more. In her I saw the same strength and resiliancy I have always seen in myself but that was absent at that time. I saw this stoic, brave, compassionate little girl emerge and it was nothing short of amazing.
Our exchange did not change a thing that happened this week. It did not suddenly make me, mom, better or heal my marriage or my mind. But it gave my heart the greatest squeeze it's ever been given and to my daughter, I am eternally greatful, and in that moment was eternally blessed.
I never thought of two as a strong number. Certainly two is better than one, unless you are talking about the number of devistating life events in a week. But to me today, two is the strongest number.
I do not know what the next weeks have in store for me. Quite frankly, I rather not know. But what I do know, is that no matter what happens I will not be in them alone. For I know I have a family, a daughter who loves me enough that she would take on my pain for me for even that short time, and while that will be neither her job or expectation of her that she continue in that role, she is afterall - only two, her filling it in those moments that she did meant more to me than any subsequent comfort I may receive ever will.
The Mom Chronicles: Celebrations (4/22/10)
The Mom Chronicles: Celebrations
Hey, moms! I hope you are enjoying this most beautiful weather! My flowers are all blooming and my grass is screaming to be mowed, and I am equally delighted about both.
Well, this is a big week in the Peterson household. My daughter, Ella, turns 2. It is hard to believe we are already here! I was just having that whole "my kids are getting so old!" complex as I was registering my son for preschool and talking kindergarten for him in another year, and now we are celebrating Ella turning two. Where does the time go? I swear Matthew's first two years didn't go so fast, however, the addition of a second child sure does change that. What scares me is that in one month, had I not lost the baby I did a year and a half ago, we would have been celebrating its first birthday sometime in May. That would have meant a one, two and four year old. And I think I am losing my mind some days as it is! Theoretically,having lost that baby, and with Ella turning two, I would normally be all about having a third. However, having a spouse that is never home due to working out of state changes things. I didn't notice that lack of present support as much with Matthew, but with two, it is a whole lot more noticable. And so, I will not be embarking on a third until that changes. Instead I am focusing on me and school and taking advantage of that time, almost using it as a distraction from a desire to have another child. What helps is that I can recognize how far I am from the place I want to be in physically and mentally when a third child comes along, and while some days that saddens me, other days that is ok. I deeply believe all things come in their own time. So in the mean time, this week my baby, my Ella, turns two. Join me in giving thanks for her and the first two years we have shared, and in hopes and prayers for many, many more years to follow. Happy Birthday, Ella~!
The other thing that made this a big week for us was that my extended family broadened. My brother Brian got married. Now, while I admit I was less then thrilled over having to be gone for three days and partaking in all the wedding festivities and the like, I was pleasantly surprised. What surprised me the most was not how I responded to the busy schedule, or the kids being short on sleep due to sleeping in a hotel, or all the "people" time that often overwhelms me, was finding out how little I actually knew about either of my brothers. Now I will admit we have never been especially close. They and my sister are but I have always been a little, odd man out. But this was actually part of what made the weekend so enjoyable for me. Part of the time came in the form of Friday night sort of tripping in to my brother's bachelors party. Our hotel was connected to a TGI Fridays resteraunt and I strolled over late Friday night for a beverage. Upon my arrival, I was met by both of my brothers and the rest of the groomsmen and ushers in part of their bachelor party festivities. My youngest brother, Noah, quickly invited me to join them and while somewhat hesitant, I did. It was fabulous. I saw sides of both my brothers - and brother in law for that matter!- that I had never seen before, and the whole experience, I admit was a bit odd. It wasn't until then that I realized just how little I knew about both of them, how few times as adults we have actually gotten together, how different they are (specifically my youngest brother) then I imagined them to be. Now, granted you see different sides of people in those circumstances, I think I actually saw them more genuinely then I had before. However, it was very, very fun and I admit to looking forward to a repeat. This was only enforced with my youngest brother, Noah, giving the most hilarious, fabulous best man speech I have ever heard at the reception. I kind of felt like, who ever knew I had these guys in my family?
And so what does this have to do with any of you? Well, its not that much of a stretch. I think as parents we want our kids to be close. To get along, to have relationships with each other that will last after we are gone. To look out for one another, to be there for one another, to support one another. Now I admit this hasn't come easy for my siblings and I, as is the case in many families. We had the sibling rivalries and differences, especially my sister and I who were so close in age. And I contend that it is true that things change when you get older. The little things are just that, little things, and as you all grow and mature you are able to see one another in a very different light. Time changes people. Life changes people. And while it has brought my sister and I closer, it hasn't so much my brothers and I. I think that may be changing.
And so as it applies to our own kids, it is most certainly true that you can't force your kids to like one another, to get along with one another, to look out for one another. You can't force them to mend their differences before they are ready to or to force them to "just get along". This takes time and will come. But what as parents we can do, is foster an environment where our kids learn to value each other. To support and be there for each other. To not feel the need to compete for time or attention, and to value everyones talents, different as they may seem. My hope for my kids is that they will be close. That they will be there for one another. My son already takes pride in "his Ella" and is doing that protective big brother thing. I hope that continues. What I must remember, though, and what you all must remember, is that it can't be forced. They must find a relationship that works for both of them, that is what both of them want and need from the other. And what's funny is as kids, that comes a lot more naturally and with a lot less effort then it does for us as adults. It is not always balanced, however, especially in families where there are a lot of kids. I admit growing up I always felt different or left out or not a part of what my sister and brothers had going on. I guess what I can say to that is if you have more then two kids, be sure they are including each other, showing value to each other, respecting each other. The rest can likely bloom on its own, but with out those three simple things as a basis, it is much more difficult as I found for myself.
So with that I will leave you all with wishes for a great rest of the week, Congratulations to my brother Brian and new sister in law Laura on their new marriage, and happy birthday wishes once again to my daughter. See you next week
Well, this is a big week in the Peterson household. My daughter, Ella, turns 2. It is hard to believe we are already here! I was just having that whole "my kids are getting so old!" complex as I was registering my son for preschool and talking kindergarten for him in another year, and now we are celebrating Ella turning two. Where does the time go? I swear Matthew's first two years didn't go so fast, however, the addition of a second child sure does change that. What scares me is that in one month, had I not lost the baby I did a year and a half ago, we would have been celebrating its first birthday sometime in May. That would have meant a one, two and four year old. And I think I am losing my mind some days as it is! Theoretically,having lost that baby, and with Ella turning two, I would normally be all about having a third. However, having a spouse that is never home due to working out of state changes things. I didn't notice that lack of present support as much with Matthew, but with two, it is a whole lot more noticable. And so, I will not be embarking on a third until that changes. Instead I am focusing on me and school and taking advantage of that time, almost using it as a distraction from a desire to have another child. What helps is that I can recognize how far I am from the place I want to be in physically and mentally when a third child comes along, and while some days that saddens me, other days that is ok. I deeply believe all things come in their own time. So in the mean time, this week my baby, my Ella, turns two. Join me in giving thanks for her and the first two years we have shared, and in hopes and prayers for many, many more years to follow. Happy Birthday, Ella~!
The other thing that made this a big week for us was that my extended family broadened. My brother Brian got married. Now, while I admit I was less then thrilled over having to be gone for three days and partaking in all the wedding festivities and the like, I was pleasantly surprised. What surprised me the most was not how I responded to the busy schedule, or the kids being short on sleep due to sleeping in a hotel, or all the "people" time that often overwhelms me, was finding out how little I actually knew about either of my brothers. Now I will admit we have never been especially close. They and my sister are but I have always been a little, odd man out. But this was actually part of what made the weekend so enjoyable for me. Part of the time came in the form of Friday night sort of tripping in to my brother's bachelors party. Our hotel was connected to a TGI Fridays resteraunt and I strolled over late Friday night for a beverage. Upon my arrival, I was met by both of my brothers and the rest of the groomsmen and ushers in part of their bachelor party festivities. My youngest brother, Noah, quickly invited me to join them and while somewhat hesitant, I did. It was fabulous. I saw sides of both my brothers - and brother in law for that matter!- that I had never seen before, and the whole experience, I admit was a bit odd. It wasn't until then that I realized just how little I knew about both of them, how few times as adults we have actually gotten together, how different they are (specifically my youngest brother) then I imagined them to be. Now, granted you see different sides of people in those circumstances, I think I actually saw them more genuinely then I had before. However, it was very, very fun and I admit to looking forward to a repeat. This was only enforced with my youngest brother, Noah, giving the most hilarious, fabulous best man speech I have ever heard at the reception. I kind of felt like, who ever knew I had these guys in my family?
And so what does this have to do with any of you? Well, its not that much of a stretch. I think as parents we want our kids to be close. To get along, to have relationships with each other that will last after we are gone. To look out for one another, to be there for one another, to support one another. Now I admit this hasn't come easy for my siblings and I, as is the case in many families. We had the sibling rivalries and differences, especially my sister and I who were so close in age. And I contend that it is true that things change when you get older. The little things are just that, little things, and as you all grow and mature you are able to see one another in a very different light. Time changes people. Life changes people. And while it has brought my sister and I closer, it hasn't so much my brothers and I. I think that may be changing.
And so as it applies to our own kids, it is most certainly true that you can't force your kids to like one another, to get along with one another, to look out for one another. You can't force them to mend their differences before they are ready to or to force them to "just get along". This takes time and will come. But what as parents we can do, is foster an environment where our kids learn to value each other. To support and be there for each other. To not feel the need to compete for time or attention, and to value everyones talents, different as they may seem. My hope for my kids is that they will be close. That they will be there for one another. My son already takes pride in "his Ella" and is doing that protective big brother thing. I hope that continues. What I must remember, though, and what you all must remember, is that it can't be forced. They must find a relationship that works for both of them, that is what both of them want and need from the other. And what's funny is as kids, that comes a lot more naturally and with a lot less effort then it does for us as adults. It is not always balanced, however, especially in families where there are a lot of kids. I admit growing up I always felt different or left out or not a part of what my sister and brothers had going on. I guess what I can say to that is if you have more then two kids, be sure they are including each other, showing value to each other, respecting each other. The rest can likely bloom on its own, but with out those three simple things as a basis, it is much more difficult as I found for myself.
So with that I will leave you all with wishes for a great rest of the week, Congratulations to my brother Brian and new sister in law Laura on their new marriage, and happy birthday wishes once again to my daughter. See you next week
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