Moms~
Here is this week's column. I hope you find it insightful and I hope that if you can relate you may share your experiences with me. There will be a second part to it I will be posting for next week. It's about the flawed system that is early childhood screaning for kids with disabilities.
I encourage any feedback you may have.
Amy
The Mom Chronicles: A Flawed System
My dear moms. I write this week on a topic very near and dear to my heart. This is the first of what is going to be a two part column, to be continued next week. I am examining the early childhood special education and early intervention system available to our children in our community and state. While I have spent a decent amount of time researching the subject for my family and their needs, as well as for you, I certainly am far from knowing all the ins and outs. What I am going to share with you is opinion based, with some popcorn facts and information I have been able to obtain. I would greatly appreciate any feedback any of you may have.
I have two children who are currently struggling with impairments and delays which have caused them to struggle in their physical, emotional and social development. As a mom, watching them struggle has been heart wrenching. What has moved me from sadness to anger and frustration, however, is the lack of services that I have been able to obtain for my children at a local level.
To date, my daughter was evaluated, as is the standard in MN, by our local school district early childhood folks. She was specificially evaluated for physical delays as she was at the time 21 months old and still couldn't take steps independantly. I was told at the time because she could pull herself up and stand holding on to something, she was too advanced to qualify for special services in our community. That was at almost two. Are you kidding me, I thought? And so since January, I have had to make weekly visits with her to Gillette Children's Specialty Care in St. Paul where she was evaluated by a Pediatric Orthopedist, given diagnosis for a physical condition causing her impairments, and now has required continued physical therapy and bracing for her legs and feet to be able to walk. My daughter at two still can not run or do steps independantly. She gets left in the dust behind her friends her age at the park and her brother who are miles ahead of her. I don't understand. Don't get me wrong. The physical therapy has been amazing and she has made enormous strides. However, Ella still is not where she is supposed to be, and instead of having services in my community available to me, I am having to spend an hour on the road, plus the cost of gas and parking, plus my time with my daughter to have these basic services rendered a half an hour away. How can this be?
Then we have my son. My Matthew. On the outside he is active and vibrant and glowing. But try to talk to him or ask him how old he is and at four, you can barely understand him and he can't tell you his age. He is starting to be able to tell you some colors, but he doesn't know his last name, can't identify most shapes, can't count to ten, can't write the letters of his name. He struggles behaviorally with impulse control issues and struggles with social skills as he has a hard time making his wants, needs, desires known so he becomes physical. He gets angry. He throws things when he gets frustrated, hits. And yet he seemed to have passed his preschool screaning with flying colors and thus when I requested it initially the school district would not further screen him. It was not in fact, until after he recently had his well child visit when his primary doctor was concerned on a number of levels of his development, most noted vision,speech and language issues and impulse control issues and after being contacted regarding this column that the school district was willing to evaluate him further. You see he was screened for his vision and they determined his vision was borderline and perhaps wouldn't even warrent glasses, when in fact he had a significant need for glasses. And how could that assesssment even have been accurate when my son couldn't even tell them the shapes they were asking him to identify on the eye chart because he didn't know them. He couldn't say the words, he couldn't remember the names of the shapes and so we resorted to him pointing to a chart to show me what he saw and matching the images. Most of the time he was distracted and guessing and pointing to random things. Are you kidding me again? And yet, again, no concerns. When shown an image of a ball my son would say "play!" or "ball!". He could not identify the color, the shape or even pronounce it correctly saying "bow". Yet my son was deemed ready for preschool with out any further need for help. If he was still struggling after preschool started let them know and they would consider reassessing him. He was noted to have a higher level of activity and needing more redirections then the rest of the kids they saw and regularly see, yet he was still ok to be watched. Again, it would be interesting to see how he did once school started and if it is interfering, go ahead and request a rescreen. And so I ask you, how can a child who is less then two months shy of four, who can't pronounce basic words, can't tell you his name, age, colors, count to ten, and any number of things that myself and my day care provider have literally worked for hours with him trying to get to sink in, not qualify for special services in our district? Again, we are headed to Gillette.
And so my dear parents, I am frustrated. I am angry. We have a flawed system. We live in a state where there is emphasis on birth to three and then K and up but that middle ground of preschoolers are kind of left hanging. There is little for early intervention in terms of addressing high risk kids. My son if you look at the risk factors for having disabilities has most on the list: a low birthweight, prematurity, low five minute Apgar scores, maternal health issues during pregnancy, and extended time in the nursery after birth for treatment for medical complications. And while it could be argued something should have been identified for him by now, I am finding that everytime I bring up a concern to everyone I get the canned response of "every child develops at their own pace and Matthew is just behind other kids". And despite these high risk factors I can't get any help for him. He is supposed to be able to get early interventions if he is at a high risk but I can't seem to get anything for him unless I want to pay for it or want my insurance to pay for and want to drive a great distance to get it. So when is it enough? When is it behind enough?
I come at this having worked for several years in special ed. Before I came in to Emergency Medical Services I was going to school to teach special education and I have seen far too many kids that have fallen through the cracks. Middle schoolers reading and writing at a kidnergarten level, doing Math at a first grade level, struggling to communicate, while exhibiting extreme behavioral issues and poor social skills, a lack of self confidence, and the list goes on. And so I ask you what is the cost? At what cost are we making our children have to be so delayed and behind before we will help them? There have been cuts to special education, as in every area, but to what cost to the long term? Is it not hurting our children more and costing us more in the long run to let our children struggle and struggle and become more and more behind until they can finally qualify for services when at that point they have developed other issues secondary to the primary one that now need to be addressed that could have been prevented all together to begin with?
There are so many reasons to intervene early, and next week I am going to discuss them. I am also working to gather resources to pass on to you if you are in the same boat I am. Don't get me wrong, we have a fabulous, dedicated group of special education providers in Hastings. The problem lies greatly beyond them. However, we need to look at our priority as a community and what we want for our kids. Perhaps we need to provide more for our kids then just what the state expects. I heard on the news tonight of a whole group of people coming together in an area of Minneapolis providing interventions for kids there to try to give them a better chance for the future. These are kids not qualifying but high risk kids based mostly on social factors. And there are multiple organizations who at the request of the community have banned together and are going to help the youth to try to catch them up. To try to give them a chance. What about our kids in Hastings? What are we doing for the kids here not qualifying under Minnesota standards? You hear each day of leaving no child behind. Both of my kids have been left behind and who is coming to pick them up? Who is going to catch my children up? So far, no one in our community, aside from a very proactive family practice provider and yours truly.
And so I urge you, moms, advocate for your kids. Fight this fight with me, to bring awareness and try to bring a change with in our community and within our state to help our children. To be there. So that they don't have to struggle as my kids have. It makes me sick. I feel lonely. I feel unheard. I feel lost in terms of who to turn to when my local resources close doors. How do I feel confident sending my son to school where I know he will be behind? Where he will struggle? Where he will not be fostered and feel confident? For he already is teased for not knowing how old he is and for acting out because he is lacking in social skills. The kids two doors down, they come and knock on my door all the time complaining about Matthew. Matthew this or Matthew that. Matthew. Matthew. Matthew. When is it his time? Heck, when is it mine? This mom needs help. And Ella. She is struggling physically mostly, but her language skills are also lacking. Not to the extent of Matty's but they are still lacking. And I am soon to be on this journey with her. Then what?
So my moms, I hope you will come back here next week and be educated. In the mean time, share your stories with me. Educate me. You are always welcome at my blog www.hastingsmomchronicles.blogspot.com I look forward to meeting you back here next week, hopefully with more answers and resources then I can offer you today. In the mean time, thanks for listening.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Long Time Gone
Let's just say quite frankly that I have sucked at this blog thing the past few months. Ok, now that I got that out there I can beg your forgiveness and update you all on life in the Peterson household!
My time has been in great demand in terms of having school and mulitple things for the kids. I completed my EMT course in May and passed my National Registry and License exams in June. I am now a NREMT-B (Nationally Registered Emergency Medical Technician- Basic). Now that's a mouthful! I loved school so much that I have stayed in it and am continuing on to become a Paramedic. This summer I took two classes and am almost done, before a short break and the fall semester starts. Whew!
As for the kids, I have continued to have to bring Ella to her physical therapy at Gillette, and Matthew now needs both glasses, AND speech therapy. He is showing early signs of learning issues and we have a long road ahead, I am afraid.
Ella turned two in April, Matty just turned 4, and I turned 29 yesterday. Woo hoo! One more year of 20's then its on to the next decade of my life. I am not sure how to feel about that. Probably as any mom does- OLD!- with my son starting preschool already! But I am excited and look forward to what life the next years brings.
And so as I have a break in life for a few weeks, I hope to get back on top of this whole blog thing. I appreciate your coming back and finding me again. I realized I commited blog suicide in taking a hiatus..... and I hope my loyal followers find their way back again!
Please..sit back, put your feet up and get caught up in my columns. They are all posted up through this week. I have started a new summer safety series and that has been a very exciting thing for me. As I embark on my second year of the column, I am full of new ideas. Feel free to share with me any ideas you have for it or any needs of yours you'd like me to address.
I look forward to meeting you here again!
The Mom Chronicles: Kids and Cars (7/15)
The Mom Chronicles: Kids and Cars
I was inspired for this week's column by an aritcle I recently read in a parenting magazine. It was hugely eye opening and I wanted to share it with you. The issue? Safety in and around cars and kids. There is a phenominal website on the topic of kids and vehicle safety and it is www.kidsand cars.com . Most of the content in this column comes from it and I urge you to visit it if you get a chance.
The fact is, when we think of kids and car safety we think of seat belts or car seats. We sometimes think of them being rolled or run over. Rarely do we think about the other risks.
Point taken from the website: A car is not a toy, a backyard, and certainly not a babysitter.
Some of the most common incidences with cars involve overheating by deadly temps in cars, accidentally knocking a car in to gear, being strangled by power windows, sunroofs or other power accessories, abducted from cars, getting locked in the trunk in an innocent game of hide and seak and carbon monoxide poisioning. Minnesota has had 15 deaths related to these things in children in the past decade, and that is on the low end. Some states have had over 50 deaths. Most are unintentional and accidents, and that doesn't make them any easier to swallow.
Backovers are the greatest cause of injuries and fatalities in kids when it comes to cars. In fact, 50 kids a week are backed over by a vehicle due to lack of visibility. One picture on the kids and cars website showed 62 kids sitting on the ground behind an SUV. Not one was visible to the driver because of the blind spots the SUV had. As parents, how many of us drive those large trucks or SUV's, even mini-vans? How often do the kids play in the driveway and how many times have you late to somewhere took off out of the driveway in a hurry with out knowing fully where your children are? It only takes one time, and unfortunately, 50 kids a week fall victim to this one time.
Additionally, my kids are two that love to "drive" aka play in the car. I have to drag them kicking and screaming sometimes away from the car reminding them it is not a toy, and yet the next time I get in and turn the key, my windshield wipers turn on, the music is blared and I have a CD in my player that wasn't there when I left it. That happens in minutes. While there are no keys in the ignition. What could happen in minutes if there were?
And how about those errands when we want to run in and pay for gas or grab something in the store while our kids wait for us in the parked car? The website's montra is "Not even for a minute". It takes seconds for a child to decide to get out of their car seat and come find mom or dad, or for mom to become distracted on a hot day in the cool comforts of a grocery store and forget her child sitting in the cooking car. Are you willing to take the risk? Now I know, it is a huge temptation. For me I think do I want to drag two kids in to the gas station where there are treats and distractions, etc? Or do I want to spare myself and run in and pay and get out in far less time and stress? I am sure I am not the only one who struggles with this. But who ultimately will pay the price if you leave them?
And finally, as it comes to overheating, the article which prompted me to do this column was about a distracted mom out of her daily habit who thought she dropped her sleeping baby in the back seat off at day care and instead left it in the car all day while she worked. The child died due to overheating. It was eye opening how easily we can become distracted and how getting out of our daily routines is an easy way for accidents to happen. Have a small child in a car seat? So this doesn't happen to you try these suggestions: keep a small stuffed animal in your child's car seat. When you put them in it move it to the front seat, when you take them out put it back. This way you will have a visual cue to check the back seat. Put your purse, bag, etc in the back as a matter of habit, even if the kids are not in the car. This will make you turn around to see the back seat. Make an agreement with your child care provider if you are late by twenty minutes on any given day that they call you. This way if you get to work and forget your child in the car, you are prompted.
While this information is so basic, and I don't mean to insult your intelligence by addressing it, things happen each day. Thousands of drivers are distracted at any given moment. And while you can't do anything about other people's inattentiveness, you can do a whole lot about yours. Cutting corners may save a minute or two, but in the long run, is the added risk to your child by not taking them in to the store with you, or allowing them to play in the car, or by not being aware of where they are before you back out of the driveway worth the risk?
Finally, do an experiment. Have your kids stand at different locations around your car while you are in it so you get a sense of your cars blind spots. This may not only be educational, but eye opening as you discover just how easy it would be for an accident to happen if your child is around your car.
I hope you all continue to have a safe and fabulous summer. Remember, not even for a minute. See you next week!
I was inspired for this week's column by an aritcle I recently read in a parenting magazine. It was hugely eye opening and I wanted to share it with you. The issue? Safety in and around cars and kids. There is a phenominal website on the topic of kids and vehicle safety and it is www.kidsand cars.com . Most of the content in this column comes from it and I urge you to visit it if you get a chance.
The fact is, when we think of kids and car safety we think of seat belts or car seats. We sometimes think of them being rolled or run over. Rarely do we think about the other risks.
Point taken from the website: A car is not a toy, a backyard, and certainly not a babysitter.
Some of the most common incidences with cars involve overheating by deadly temps in cars, accidentally knocking a car in to gear, being strangled by power windows, sunroofs or other power accessories, abducted from cars, getting locked in the trunk in an innocent game of hide and seak and carbon monoxide poisioning. Minnesota has had 15 deaths related to these things in children in the past decade, and that is on the low end. Some states have had over 50 deaths. Most are unintentional and accidents, and that doesn't make them any easier to swallow.
Backovers are the greatest cause of injuries and fatalities in kids when it comes to cars. In fact, 50 kids a week are backed over by a vehicle due to lack of visibility. One picture on the kids and cars website showed 62 kids sitting on the ground behind an SUV. Not one was visible to the driver because of the blind spots the SUV had. As parents, how many of us drive those large trucks or SUV's, even mini-vans? How often do the kids play in the driveway and how many times have you late to somewhere took off out of the driveway in a hurry with out knowing fully where your children are? It only takes one time, and unfortunately, 50 kids a week fall victim to this one time.
Additionally, my kids are two that love to "drive" aka play in the car. I have to drag them kicking and screaming sometimes away from the car reminding them it is not a toy, and yet the next time I get in and turn the key, my windshield wipers turn on, the music is blared and I have a CD in my player that wasn't there when I left it. That happens in minutes. While there are no keys in the ignition. What could happen in minutes if there were?
And how about those errands when we want to run in and pay for gas or grab something in the store while our kids wait for us in the parked car? The website's montra is "Not even for a minute". It takes seconds for a child to decide to get out of their car seat and come find mom or dad, or for mom to become distracted on a hot day in the cool comforts of a grocery store and forget her child sitting in the cooking car. Are you willing to take the risk? Now I know, it is a huge temptation. For me I think do I want to drag two kids in to the gas station where there are treats and distractions, etc? Or do I want to spare myself and run in and pay and get out in far less time and stress? I am sure I am not the only one who struggles with this. But who ultimately will pay the price if you leave them?
And finally, as it comes to overheating, the article which prompted me to do this column was about a distracted mom out of her daily habit who thought she dropped her sleeping baby in the back seat off at day care and instead left it in the car all day while she worked. The child died due to overheating. It was eye opening how easily we can become distracted and how getting out of our daily routines is an easy way for accidents to happen. Have a small child in a car seat? So this doesn't happen to you try these suggestions: keep a small stuffed animal in your child's car seat. When you put them in it move it to the front seat, when you take them out put it back. This way you will have a visual cue to check the back seat. Put your purse, bag, etc in the back as a matter of habit, even if the kids are not in the car. This will make you turn around to see the back seat. Make an agreement with your child care provider if you are late by twenty minutes on any given day that they call you. This way if you get to work and forget your child in the car, you are prompted.
While this information is so basic, and I don't mean to insult your intelligence by addressing it, things happen each day. Thousands of drivers are distracted at any given moment. And while you can't do anything about other people's inattentiveness, you can do a whole lot about yours. Cutting corners may save a minute or two, but in the long run, is the added risk to your child by not taking them in to the store with you, or allowing them to play in the car, or by not being aware of where they are before you back out of the driveway worth the risk?
Finally, do an experiment. Have your kids stand at different locations around your car while you are in it so you get a sense of your cars blind spots. This may not only be educational, but eye opening as you discover just how easy it would be for an accident to happen if your child is around your car.
I hope you all continue to have a safe and fabulous summer. Remember, not even for a minute. See you next week!
The Mom Chronicles: Celebrating Matthew (7/8)
Welcome back, moms. I hope you enjoyed your long holiday weekend.
The fourth of July holiday is particularly special for my family and I. What I did not mention last week is that it's the weekend we celebrate the passing of another year in my son's life. He was nearly a firecracker baby. I was induced with him on the fourth of July and as the fireworks boomed in the wee hours of the night, he held off in order to have his own special day, and came shortly after the start of the fifth. That was four years ago. It is hard to believe its been so long. Don't get me wrong, some days seem like its been an eternity!- but mostly, I can't believe we are already to preschool and riding a bike and all the other things that life with a four year old brings.
My Matthew entered the world at a mear four and a half pounds. He was a premie and had a somewhat eventful first two months of life, mostly in terms of being jaundiced and on bili lights for eight weeks. His first couple years were rough ones in general. At about seven months he got a horrible case of chicken pox that covered even his eye lids, and that brought us to our first trip to the ER. Shortly there after we figured out he had asthma. At a year and a half he spent several days hospitalized for RSV and pneumonia. During this time he also made his first trip over the side bar of his crib, not landing on his feet as he had hoped, and out of his high chair. And then there was that thing with the bee sting when we quickly learned he was allergic to them. Life with a kiddo is always interesting,isn't it? We've had our trip to the ER for a staple in the head due to jumping on mom's bed and now have learned Matty needs glasses.
The past four years have also brought many joys as well. Matthew has a radiant smile and dimples that make my heart melt. He is full of kisses and affection for his mom, and the highlight of our days are driving passed the fire department to see if the fire trucks and ambulances are "awake" (gone on a run) or "sleeping" (at the station). He has high aspirations like his mommy of being on one of those trucks. I've gotten to watch him embrace brotherhood as we welcomed his sister a couple years ago,and he fondly refers to her as "my Ella". Most recently his love has been devoted to "swimmin' and dancin'" after a weekend away to my brother's wedding where he got to do ample amounts of both and playing with our Newfoundland puppy. He also loves playing with "the kids" a few doors down, and going any where that entails fishing, swimming or a park.
Needless to say with such a joy brought in to my life during the fourth of July weekend, it holds a special place in my heart. As we sat together and watched the fireworks this past weekend with my son's head resting on my lap, I did what I do every year, and couldn't help but get a little choked up. You see, we had been told my son would likely have down syndrome and a heart defect. As the fireworks exploded outside my hospital window, I had hopes for the best, while expecting the worst. My Matthew, my dear sweet Matthew, came out perfect. Small, but perfect. He mearly had in-utero growth restriction. And so new joy came on that night. And as we watched those fireworks the other night, sweet memories of the night my son came in to my world flooded back, and I felt so blessed.
The only thing missing from the fourth of July fireworks this year was the music for the dancin'. My son over and over begged to go up to the club house where a wedding reception was being held so he could dance. This year, as opposed to last, there was no DJ. The event wasn't quite what it was last year. Fireworks were still great. It was fabulous to see families out enjoying each other and the holiday. But my family missed the music. I am hoping next year it finds its way back, as that would make for a very happy little boy. One, that would have loved to dance his way in to his birthday.
And so my moms, please join me in wishing my son a fabulous 4th birthday. We are spending it at Chuck-E-Cheese, every mom's dream place to take her kid (ah...yeah..) where Matthew will be surrounded by the people that love him most and are equally as thrilled to spend his special day with him. Additionally, thank you for allowing this mom to gush about one of the greatest loves in her life.
See you next week!
The Mom Chronicles: Happy 4th! (7/1)
The Mom Chronicles: Happy 4th!
Welcome back, moms! Is it just me or is this summer whizzing by? Here we are, already to July. Where does the time go? In light of this being the 4th of July weekend I wanted to take a moment to offer a few reminders as they pertain to two of the most common fourth of July events: Parades and Fireworks. While I know you are all sharp, intelligent people, a few reminders never hurt, and my hope is that this is a safe and enjoyable one for all of you!
To start with, this past week the Peterson crew partook in the fun family summer tradition of attending a parade, something many of you will be doing this weekend. In going I was suddenly inspired in terms of the idea for this column. As there will soon be a parade marching down the streets of Hastings, and as I said, many of you attending others this weekend, I thought this would be a good time to offer a few parade going reminders for you before you hit the streets with your little ones.
The first applies to candy collection.I was horrified as I sat and watched dozens of kids dart in front of moving parade and float vehicles in an attempt to grab that last piece of candy or whatever else was being given out. Kids were literally going up to floats and running or walking along side them in an attempt to get as much candy as they could. This, as visions of a child getting run over or worse danced in my head. This will not be my kids, and I hope it won't be yours either. So, a good ground rule I use is that the kids have to stay on the curb and they can go only for the candy that comes around their feet or is handed to them. In many cities, I learned, there are no throwing rules for candy in parades. Parade organizers have gone to people walking next to floats and handing the candy to people vs throwing it from the floats to try to lessen the risk to parade goers.I think this is a great idea. The thing is kids don't see moving vehicles, they see candy. Additionally the people driving the vehicles pulling the floats can't see kids on the ground around the float behind them, and there are a number of things distracting them that it is nearly impossible to keep track of where each child is around the vehicle. When it comes to animals, mainly horses, try to keep your kids calm and avoid allowing them to shout, run around or throw things at the horses so as to prevent them from getting spooked. And how about all those go carts we as parents love to hate? If they, or another float group, request you to come up off the curb or move your feet, generally that applies to everyone. While there weren't any of these at the parade I attended, there was a motorcycle group in which the bikes soaring up and down the street were near invisible to some kids, or so it seemed. They stood three feet out in to the road and just in my small area there were a couple near misses. As a marching band color guard alumni I can also tell you I have been witness to more then one child getting hit by a flag that is being twirled from them coming too close. As with any other float, keep them back and keep them safe. Finally, if you are going to be sitting on a float instead of watching them, be sure to keep your kids back from the edges or be sure they are sitting down. There are many groups, from the city royalty to dance schools who are up and actively dancing around or moving on floats. If your child is on one of these, be sure there are barriers or adults walking next to the float to try to prevent your child from falling off. And finally, while parade candy is generally safe, it doesn't hurt to do the Halloween once over. In other words, take a quick look through the treats your kids have collected and be sure they are all in their original wrappers and there is nothing fishy about any of them. And while you are at it, this would be a prime opportunity to snatch up that chocolate bar you've been eyeing since it landed at your child's feet!
Before I go let's not forget that this weekend is afterall the beloved 4th of July weekend, so I wanted to throw out a couple reminders for kids and fireworks. Basically, kids and fireworks don't mix. Now watching them at a fourth of July display, yes, but setting them off, not so much. Each year there are thousands of serious injuries caused by individuals, kids and adults, setting off fire works, and this is a friendly reminder of how dangerous they can be. So before heading to that family gathering where there may be some fireworks action consider having a discussion with your kids. Enforce that fireworks are for adults, not for kids, to set off. Remind them to keep a safe distance when they are being set off, and not to touch them, even just to look at them. Fireworks are not toys (try telling this to my uncles) and are not meant for small children to play with. They should be used outside only and encourage them to tell you if they see fireworks misuse by other kids. Additionally it is encouraged that children under five don't use sparklers. If you are the adult setting off the fireworks, be sure to read the instructions and warnings carefully. Keep a bucket of water handy. Never put them in your pockets. Finally, generally as in most other things, alcohol and fireworks are not really a great combination. Need I say more on that one?
I hope you are all having a safe and enjoyable summer! Have a great fourth of July!
The Mom Chronicles: When the Thunder Rolls (6/24)
The Mom Chronicles: When the thunder rolls
When asked what first comes to mind when someone mentions the summertime how do you respond? Fun in the sun? The beach? Family vacations? Well for this mom, who grew up in the country regularly watching the Wizard of Oz something different comes to mind: thunderstorms. Specifically tornadoes. And as summer is well underway we find ourselves amid the stormiest month here in Minnesota, June. We were well reminded of both of those things last week as we watched, and continue to see, coverage of storms and tornadoes that damaged parts of the state. And these events got me to thinking. What am I doing to keep my kids safe and calm when such storms threaten my doorstep and what am I teaching them in my preparations?
Unfortunately, all those Wizard of Oz episodes have made me a bit storm phobic and I admit, regrettably, that I passed those same fears on to my kids. And that brings me here. While the big storms never came here, the Peterson household got awefully stormy that night just because of everyone being so scared and worked up of something bad happening. And surely, there are better ways to handle storms then I did. And while I did a couple good things the general take away of the evening in my house was not positive in nature. That said, with a potentially stormy week ahead of us again, I wanted to step back and look at how to best help myself and kids through another stormy night, and perhaps help your families, too. Face it. To kids (and big people, too) storms can be scary. They are loud, unpredictable and dangerous. We often don’t know or understand enough what is going on and it is easier to focus on these fears then to focus on how to stay calm. And the fact of the matter is we don’t spend enough time thinking of what to do in those situations ahead of time. We often find ourselves rushing around at the time of a storm and that keeps our blood and adrenaline pumping and offers no real help in establishing a calm and safe environment.
My quest of storm preparedness lead me mostly online where I was able, though the help of several websites, to find some great suggestions on how to keep you and your family safe and calm during a storm. The first suggestion was to understand what is happening. Go to the library and check out books on weather to help your kids have a better understanding of what is going on and refer to those things when the storm actually comes saying things like remember we read about how lightening is just this or that and make a little science lesson out of it. Remember those things we don’t understand tend to be more scary then the things we do.
Next, be prepared. Have a plan and practice it with your family. Be sure to have things like flashlights, blankets, extra batteries, water, any medications, etc stocked and accessable to your family’s safe area ahead of time. Be sure your kids know where these things are as well. That way you can give them tasks during or before a storm to make them feel a greater sense of control. Allow them to pick out the snacks they want with and pack them up for everyone or to help test the flashlights periodically. Having a sense of control also helps with calm. Storms can feel very unpredictable and uncontrollable. Doing tasks to feel prepared and like you have a part can make a big difference, especially to kids.
And finally, find your calm, and help your kids find theirs. Step back. Take a deep breath. If having the news channel on with constant updates is too stressful, perhaps get a weather radio that will just alert you when the storm is close to your area, or tune in every half an hour for updates so you aren’t worried for hours in advance. Make games out of the storm. Do things like count with your kids the amount of time between a flash of lightening and clash of thunder and divide it by five. That will tell you the distance from the storm you are. Consider going to the basement ahead of time if you have a nice basement to go to. That way you are all somewhat shielded from the visuals of the storm before it starts to avoid the last minute panic of having to hurry there. Use things like headphones or turn up the stereo and have a dance party to drown out the noise. Consider putting your kids to sleep with rain or thunderstorm CD’s at night so they get used to it and aren’t kept awake on rainy, stormy nights by sounds that are usually considered scary. If they learn to be calmed and relaxed by them, they won’t be so scary. In addition have special games, toys, etc reserved for use just in the special safe place. This will create fun distractions and make the place less scary. And finally, if the electricity goes out turn it in to a campout. Set up a “tent” and use the flashlights as if you are camping out. This is something that may be familiar to the kids if it is a favorite past time of your family and something else to associate with good feelings.
Ultimately, while you can’t change whether or not a storm is going to land on your doorstep, you can be prepared for it and help you and your kids find a sense of calm in it. There will always be some sense of scary and unknown, but I am learning it can be drastically lessened just by a few small things.
Additionally, avoiding news coverage after storms of destruction or scary weather movies like the Wizard of Oz can always help as well. I still can’t hear a wind chime at the start of a storm with out thinking of the movie Twister.
That said, while we can’t fully eliminate the scary out of a storm, the next time the thunder rolls at your house, perhaps it won’t be as scary as an adventure. Perhaps it could even be fun.
Have a great week!
When asked what first comes to mind when someone mentions the summertime how do you respond? Fun in the sun? The beach? Family vacations? Well for this mom, who grew up in the country regularly watching the Wizard of Oz something different comes to mind: thunderstorms. Specifically tornadoes. And as summer is well underway we find ourselves amid the stormiest month here in Minnesota, June. We were well reminded of both of those things last week as we watched, and continue to see, coverage of storms and tornadoes that damaged parts of the state. And these events got me to thinking. What am I doing to keep my kids safe and calm when such storms threaten my doorstep and what am I teaching them in my preparations?
Unfortunately, all those Wizard of Oz episodes have made me a bit storm phobic and I admit, regrettably, that I passed those same fears on to my kids. And that brings me here. While the big storms never came here, the Peterson household got awefully stormy that night just because of everyone being so scared and worked up of something bad happening. And surely, there are better ways to handle storms then I did. And while I did a couple good things the general take away of the evening in my house was not positive in nature. That said, with a potentially stormy week ahead of us again, I wanted to step back and look at how to best help myself and kids through another stormy night, and perhaps help your families, too. Face it. To kids (and big people, too) storms can be scary. They are loud, unpredictable and dangerous. We often don’t know or understand enough what is going on and it is easier to focus on these fears then to focus on how to stay calm. And the fact of the matter is we don’t spend enough time thinking of what to do in those situations ahead of time. We often find ourselves rushing around at the time of a storm and that keeps our blood and adrenaline pumping and offers no real help in establishing a calm and safe environment.
My quest of storm preparedness lead me mostly online where I was able, though the help of several websites, to find some great suggestions on how to keep you and your family safe and calm during a storm. The first suggestion was to understand what is happening. Go to the library and check out books on weather to help your kids have a better understanding of what is going on and refer to those things when the storm actually comes saying things like remember we read about how lightening is just this or that and make a little science lesson out of it. Remember those things we don’t understand tend to be more scary then the things we do.
Next, be prepared. Have a plan and practice it with your family. Be sure to have things like flashlights, blankets, extra batteries, water, any medications, etc stocked and accessable to your family’s safe area ahead of time. Be sure your kids know where these things are as well. That way you can give them tasks during or before a storm to make them feel a greater sense of control. Allow them to pick out the snacks they want with and pack them up for everyone or to help test the flashlights periodically. Having a sense of control also helps with calm. Storms can feel very unpredictable and uncontrollable. Doing tasks to feel prepared and like you have a part can make a big difference, especially to kids.
And finally, find your calm, and help your kids find theirs. Step back. Take a deep breath. If having the news channel on with constant updates is too stressful, perhaps get a weather radio that will just alert you when the storm is close to your area, or tune in every half an hour for updates so you aren’t worried for hours in advance. Make games out of the storm. Do things like count with your kids the amount of time between a flash of lightening and clash of thunder and divide it by five. That will tell you the distance from the storm you are. Consider going to the basement ahead of time if you have a nice basement to go to. That way you are all somewhat shielded from the visuals of the storm before it starts to avoid the last minute panic of having to hurry there. Use things like headphones or turn up the stereo and have a dance party to drown out the noise. Consider putting your kids to sleep with rain or thunderstorm CD’s at night so they get used to it and aren’t kept awake on rainy, stormy nights by sounds that are usually considered scary. If they learn to be calmed and relaxed by them, they won’t be so scary. In addition have special games, toys, etc reserved for use just in the special safe place. This will create fun distractions and make the place less scary. And finally, if the electricity goes out turn it in to a campout. Set up a “tent” and use the flashlights as if you are camping out. This is something that may be familiar to the kids if it is a favorite past time of your family and something else to associate with good feelings.
Ultimately, while you can’t change whether or not a storm is going to land on your doorstep, you can be prepared for it and help you and your kids find a sense of calm in it. There will always be some sense of scary and unknown, but I am learning it can be drastically lessened just by a few small things.
Additionally, avoiding news coverage after storms of destruction or scary weather movies like the Wizard of Oz can always help as well. I still can’t hear a wind chime at the start of a storm with out thinking of the movie Twister.
That said, while we can’t fully eliminate the scary out of a storm, the next time the thunder rolls at your house, perhaps it won’t be as scary as an adventure. Perhaps it could even be fun.
Have a great week!
The Mom Chronicles: Lessons in Safety (6/10)
The Mom Chronicles: Lessons in Safety
So I suppose by now most of you have heard be it through Chad's story this past week or via other sources that last week was indeed a very big week for me. Not only did I pass my exams to become a Nationally registered EMT, but I had my first big adventure in putting my skills to use. Fortunately for me, and the little guy who required them, I was successful. This column, however, is not about telling the story, as I think most of you already got the jist. What it is aimed at doing, however, is to remind all of you just how quickly bad things can happen and how easily, in most cases, they can be prevented.
As both an EMT and writer of this column, I am dedicated to educating as many of you as possible and bringing equal awareness of the safety issues facing our kids and what our role as parents and as a community is in terms of preventing tragedys like what happened out at Lake Elmo last week from occuring. Naturally, I recognize and fully am aware of the fact that things happen. Things that are outside of our control happen every day, and while we can't then necessarily prevent them, we can do our best to be prepared for them. Therefor I am dedicating a great deal of my columns the next few weeks to various topics in child safety. I am not an expert. I only have the knowledge of the personal and professional experiences I have had. That said, I can share with you what I know and point you in the directions of the "real" professionals that have a knowledge much greater than mine in areas I am not so knowledgable in. And while I could get in to all kinds of details about complex safety measures we could put in place, in the end, it comes down to the basics. It comes down to parents being diligent about watching their kids, and in the times they can not be there, the importance of choosing someone to watch them that will be equally if not even more diligent then we as parents will even be. It's about educating ourselves and our kids. It's about doing the little things that we sometimes take for granted: wearing a seatbelt, a helmet while riding a bike, life jackets while in the water, not talking to strangers, knowing how to assess the emergency medical services through 911, and so on. It's about knowing things like basic first aid and CPR for when things do happen, and I was thrilled to see the education being done in the middle school to teach even our local students the basics in CPR, something that can be such a vital role in saving some ones life. And so while yes, I was able to assist someone in such a way that made a vital difference in saving their life, as a mom, that was not what I walked away with. It was the reminder of how important the safety of our kids is and how quickly lives can be changed in a few short seconds of non-diligence or letting our guards down. So I look forward to the weeks ahead and if you have an idea for a safety topic, please forward it on to me, and hopefully together we can see to it that our kids have as safe of a summer as possible.
On a final note, something that was difficult for me this past week was the credit I got for what I did on that beach. The reality is, and something that I am very humbled by, is the fact, I was not the only one there who stepped in to assist this little boy. Additionally, we have a whole group of people in our community who put themselves our there for each of you every day. They have saved countless lives, making my one not such a big deal. And the thing about these people is that they don't do it for the credit or validation. They do it because they have a true and sincere desire to help and impact the lives of others. And so I ask that you keep that in mind whenever you see an ambulance or fire truck or policeman. And I also ask that you take some time to educate yourselves about the roles that they play in our community, roles that extend beyond just driving an ambulance or showing up at a false alarm or pulling over a speeding pedestrian. They are people that are vital to the safety and well being of our community, and our appreciation for and support of them are vital as well.
Have a safe and wonderful week.
So I suppose by now most of you have heard be it through Chad's story this past week or via other sources that last week was indeed a very big week for me. Not only did I pass my exams to become a Nationally registered EMT, but I had my first big adventure in putting my skills to use. Fortunately for me, and the little guy who required them, I was successful. This column, however, is not about telling the story, as I think most of you already got the jist. What it is aimed at doing, however, is to remind all of you just how quickly bad things can happen and how easily, in most cases, they can be prevented.
As both an EMT and writer of this column, I am dedicated to educating as many of you as possible and bringing equal awareness of the safety issues facing our kids and what our role as parents and as a community is in terms of preventing tragedys like what happened out at Lake Elmo last week from occuring. Naturally, I recognize and fully am aware of the fact that things happen. Things that are outside of our control happen every day, and while we can't then necessarily prevent them, we can do our best to be prepared for them. Therefor I am dedicating a great deal of my columns the next few weeks to various topics in child safety. I am not an expert. I only have the knowledge of the personal and professional experiences I have had. That said, I can share with you what I know and point you in the directions of the "real" professionals that have a knowledge much greater than mine in areas I am not so knowledgable in. And while I could get in to all kinds of details about complex safety measures we could put in place, in the end, it comes down to the basics. It comes down to parents being diligent about watching their kids, and in the times they can not be there, the importance of choosing someone to watch them that will be equally if not even more diligent then we as parents will even be. It's about educating ourselves and our kids. It's about doing the little things that we sometimes take for granted: wearing a seatbelt, a helmet while riding a bike, life jackets while in the water, not talking to strangers, knowing how to assess the emergency medical services through 911, and so on. It's about knowing things like basic first aid and CPR for when things do happen, and I was thrilled to see the education being done in the middle school to teach even our local students the basics in CPR, something that can be such a vital role in saving some ones life. And so while yes, I was able to assist someone in such a way that made a vital difference in saving their life, as a mom, that was not what I walked away with. It was the reminder of how important the safety of our kids is and how quickly lives can be changed in a few short seconds of non-diligence or letting our guards down. So I look forward to the weeks ahead and if you have an idea for a safety topic, please forward it on to me, and hopefully together we can see to it that our kids have as safe of a summer as possible.
On a final note, something that was difficult for me this past week was the credit I got for what I did on that beach. The reality is, and something that I am very humbled by, is the fact, I was not the only one there who stepped in to assist this little boy. Additionally, we have a whole group of people in our community who put themselves our there for each of you every day. They have saved countless lives, making my one not such a big deal. And the thing about these people is that they don't do it for the credit or validation. They do it because they have a true and sincere desire to help and impact the lives of others. And so I ask that you keep that in mind whenever you see an ambulance or fire truck or policeman. And I also ask that you take some time to educate yourselves about the roles that they play in our community, roles that extend beyond just driving an ambulance or showing up at a false alarm or pulling over a speeding pedestrian. They are people that are vital to the safety and well being of our community, and our appreciation for and support of them are vital as well.
Have a safe and wonderful week.
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